Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer communicates the main idea but is disfluent and somewhat repetitive. To improve: (1) Reduce hesitations and filler words (uh, um) to sound more fluent. Practice short rehearsed phrases. (2) Use a clear topic sentence followed by one or two specific supporting details (where and why). (3) Keep it concise — aim for 2–3 sentences. (4) Use appropriate linking words (for example, because, so) to connect ideas.

例: Yes, I love taking photos of natural views. For example, I often photograph rivers and waterfalls because their sights make me feel calm and relaxed, and capturing them helps me remember peaceful moments.

提案: Your answer is understandable but very repetitive and full of hesitations. To improve: (1) Start with a clear direct statement (I prefer rural areas). (2) Give one or two specific reasons using linking words (because, so, therefore). (3) Avoid repeating words; use synonyms (countryside, natural areas). (4) Keep it within 2–3 concise sentences.

例: I prefer rural areas rather than urban ones because cities are often polluted and crowded. In contrast, the countryside offers fresh air and peaceful scenery, which I find much more enjoyable.

提案: Your answer covers relevant factors but is slightly rambling and ends abruptly. To improve: (1) Use a clear conditional structure and finish the thought. (2) Provide one specific example to support each case (travel abroad vs. domestic). (3) Use linking words (however, if, because) for coherence. (4) Keep it within 2–3 polished sentences.

例: It depends on my mood and budget. If I can afford international travel, I would visit other countries to experience new landscapes and cultures; however, if my budget is limited, I prefer exploring my own country because it already has many beautiful natural sites.

× Obviously I am all uh, nature lover so I want to take the picture of different views of natural scenario like rivers, waterfalls which makes me feel tranquil and uh, it helps me to relax after uh this viewpoints.

✓ Obviously I am a nature lover, so I want to take pictures of different natural scenes like rivers and waterfalls, which make me feel tranquil and help me relax after visiting these viewpoints.

Errors: incorrect article 'a' missing before 'nature lover' (article error, handled as pronoun/word use), singular/plural mismatches ('the picture' should be 'pictures'; 'natural scenario' unnatural and should be 'natural scenes'); relative clause subject-verb agreement ('which makes' should be 'which make' to agree with plural antecedent 'rivers and waterfalls'); 'it helps me to relax after uh this viewpoints' has pronoun/number mismatch and wrong noun form — 'these viewpoints' and remove unnecessary 'to'. Suggestions: use 'a nature lover'; use plural 'pictures' and 'scenes'; ensure relative clause verb agrees with its antecedent; use correct demonstrative 'these viewpoints' and simplify 'help me relax'.

× Due to the pollution, I don't prefer to, uh, prefer to, umm, uh, spend time in urban areas.

✓ Because of pollution, I don't prefer to spend time in urban areas.

Error: 'Due to' is acceptable but 'because of' is more natural here; repetition 'prefer to, prefer to' and filler words removed. Also preposition usage is fine but sentence was redundant. Suggestion: use 'because of' or 'due to' at clause start and avoid repetition and fillers; keep 'spend time in urban areas'. Note: The main issue was redundancy and awkward phrasing rather than a strict preposition error; corrected for clarity.

× Uh, but I definitely prefer to, uh, visit the rural areas because of its natural sense and, uh, this pollution, uh, I prefer.

✓ But I definitely prefer visiting rural areas because of their natural beauty and lower pollution.

Errors: pronoun agreement and noun choice — 'its natural sense' is incorrect because 'rural areas' is plural so use 'their'; 'natural sense' is awkward, 'natural beauty' is better; 'this pollution, I prefer' is ungrammatical and redundant. Suggestions: use plural possessive 'their', choose appropriate noun 'beauty', and remove redundant clauses; use gerund 'visiting' for preference.

× It depends on my mood and my economic conditions.

✓ It depends on my mood and my financial situation.

Error: 'economic conditions' is not wrong grammatically but stylistically 'financial situation' is more natural. Tense 'depends' is correct. Suggestion: prefer collocation 'financial situation' for clarity.

× If I have a good income, obviously I want to visit the different parts of the world and as well as due to the less budget I can manage to visit in my own country as my country is rich in the natural scenario and the.

✓ If I have a good income, I would like to visit different parts of the world; with a smaller budget, I can manage to travel within my own country because it is rich in natural scenery.

Errors: conditional/future modality — use 'would like' to express a desired future action dependent on income; word choice and prepositions: 'visit in my own country' should be 'travel within my own country'; 'less budget' should be 'a smaller budget'; 'natural scenario' should be 'natural scenery'; sentence ended abruptly with 'and the' which is incomplete. Suggestions: use correct conditional/modal ('would like'), correct quantifier phrase 'a smaller budget', use 'within' for traveling domestically, and complete the sentence.