Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Parla più chiaramente e con meno esitazioni; usa frasi più concise e correggi lessico scorretto. Specifica esempi concreti e usa connettori per migliorare la coerenza. Ad esempio, evita ripetizioni come “umm” e “different, different”, sostituisci con aggettivi precisi e una struttura: affermazione principale + dettaglio + motivo.

例: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures, especially when I'm on holiday with my husband. We often visit places in Asia and the Middle East because they offer diverse and striking landscapes. For example, in Japan I photographed traditional gardens, while in Jordan I captured desert vistas.

提案: Riduci esitazioni e ripetizioni, fornisci una frase tematica chiara e dettagli specifici con collegamenti logici. Usa vocaboli precisi per descrivere perché preferisci l'ambiente urbano (ad esempio skyline, architecture, vibrant street life) e includi un breve esempio concreto.

例: It depends, but I generally prefer urban views because I find city skylines and architecture inspiring. For example, in New York I loved photographing the skyline and busy streets, while in Boston I enjoyed the historic buildings and waterfront.

提案: Correggi errori grammaticali e usa tempi verbali appropriati; elimina esitazioni e ripetizioni. Dichiara chiaramente la preferenza e poi aggiungi dettagli specifici (es. paesaggi collinari della Toscana, vigneti, borghi medievali) e un motivo per la preferenza.

例: I prefer views in my own country because Italy has so many beautiful landscapes. For example, in Tuscany I enjoy photographing rolling hills, vineyards and medieval villages, which offer rich colours and textures that are unique to Italy.

× I love taking pictures and especially, uh, when I am on holiday with my husband, we love to go to places like Asia or umm, yes, Middle East, umm, uh, because I think that those plays have different, different and beautiful lands.

✓ I love taking pictures, especially when I am on holiday with my husband; we love to go to places like Asia or the Middle East because I think that those places have different and beautiful landscapes.

The sentence has multiple issues: 'plays' is a wrong word choice for 'places' (lexical error). 'Middle East' requires the definite article 'the'. 'lands' is unnatural here; use 'landscapes' or 'scenery'. Also punctuation and filler words interrupt fluency. Suggestion: replace incorrect words ('plays' -> 'places', 'lands' -> 'landscapes'), add 'the' before 'Middle East', and remove unnecessary fillers; restructure with a semicolon or shorter clauses for clarity. ID: 1, 17

× For example, I've loved New York or Boston and been there because of the, the, the, the city lines and.

✓ For example, I've loved New York and Boston and have been there because of the city skylines.

The original mixes tense and omits an auxiliary: 'and been there' is missing 'have' when used with 'I've' in the same clause; 'or' is inappropriate if both cities are intended; 'city lines' is incorrect collocation — use 'skylines'. Suggestion: use 'I've loved' then 'and have been there' to maintain present perfect consistency, replace 'or' with 'and' if both cities are meant, and use 'skylines' for correct vocabulary. ID:9,6,13

× I loved using my country because Italy, you know, it's uh, one of the most beautiful places in the world.

✓ I love my country because Italy, you know, is one of the most beautiful places in the world.

The student used past tense 'loved' which conflicts with the general, timeless opinion about their country — present simple 'love' is appropriate. 'Using my country' is incorrect phrasing; say 'love my country' or 'I love visiting my country' depending on meaning. Also 'it's uh' should be 'is' to be concise. Suggestion: use present tense for general statements, remove 'using', and avoid fillers. ID:5,6,22

× And I, I've loved been in Tuscany, for example, and all the, umm, uh, all the, umm, uh, the, the, the, the, the rural, uh, landscapes.

✓ And I have been to Tuscany, for example, and all the rural landscapes.

'I've loved been' is ungrammatical: if the intention is to state experience, use 'I have been to Tuscany' (present perfect with 'to'). If expressing affection, use 'I've loved Tuscany' or 'I loved Tuscany'. Also 'the rural landscapes' is fine but redundant fillers should be removed. Suggestion: choose the correct structure for experience ('have been to') or for preference ('have loved'), and eliminate repeated filler words. ID:9,22,26