Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and produce a clear topic sentence. Correct grammar (e.g., articles, prepositions, verb forms) and avoid filler words like “umm.” Use one or two specific details to support your answer and link them logically. Keep to a maximum of 3–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of different views. I usually carry my own DSLR when I go out with friends, and last summer I took it to the mountains when we went hiking. I like capturing landscapes, especially wide shots of mountain ridges and sunrise lighting.

提案: Start with a direct statement of preference, then give specific reasons with linking words (because, so, for example). Fix grammar: singular/plural, word order, and avoid repetition and fillers. Limit to 2–3 sentences.

例: I prefer views in rural areas because I live in the countryside and find the natural scenery more inspiring. For example, rural areas have many flowers, trees and mountains that make interesting subjects for landscape photos.

提案: Answer directly and clearly: state preference and give specific cultural or seasonal reasons. Avoid repetition and unclear phrases. Use correct expressions (e.g., “born and raised in Japan,” “I enjoy the cultural atmosphere,” “cherry blossoms in spring”). Keep to 2–3 well-formed sentences.

例: I prefer views in my own country because I was born and raised in Japan and feel attached to its scenery. For example, I love the cultural atmosphere and the cherry blossoms in spring, which create beautiful photo opportunities.

× I usually take that camera with when I'm going outside with my friend.

✓ I usually take that camera with me when I go out with my friend.

The sentence misuses 'with' and verb forms. 'Take ... with me' requires object 'me'. 'I'm going outside' is present continuous but here habitual action needs simple present 'I go out.' Use 'go out' for habitual activities and include the pronoun 'me'. Suggestion: Use 'take ... with me' and simple present for routines: 'I usually take that camera with me when I go out with my friend.'

× Uh, last summer I took that camera with to the mountain, to climbing the mountain and I took a.

✓ Last summer I took that camera to the mountain to climb, and I took some photos.

Incorrect verb forms and prepositions. 'Took the camera with to the mountain' misplaces 'with'; correct is 'took the camera to the mountain.' Use infinitive 'to climb' not 'to climbing.' The fragment 'I took a.' is incomplete; likely 'I took some photos.' Suggestion: Use 'took ... to' for movement and infinitive after 'to' for purpose: 'to climb.' Complete the sentence with the object 'photos.'

× I prefer view is in the rural areas cause the rural areas in which where am I living right now UMM and I think our own areas is also good at developing the picture.

✓ I prefer views in rural areas because I live in a rural area now, and I think our local area is also good for taking pictures.

Pronoun and article errors: 'I prefer view is' should be 'I prefer views' (plural) or 'I prefer the countryside.' 'Cause' should be 'because.' 'In which where am I living' is wrong word order and redundant; use 'because I live in a rural area now.' 'Our own areas' is vague; 'our local area' is clearer. Use 'good for taking pictures' not 'good at developing the picture.' Suggestion: Correct pronoun usage, word order, and use 'good for' + verb-ing to state purpose.

× While on rural areas has a lot of umm lots of natures umm especially flowers and trees and mountains.

✓ Rural areas have a lot of natural scenery, especially flowers, trees, and mountains.

Subject-verb agreement and noun choice errors. 'While on rural areas has' is ungrammatical; plural subject 'rural areas' requires plural verb 'have.' 'Lots of natures' is incorrect; use 'natural scenery' or 'natural features.' Suggestion: Match plural subjects with plural verbs and use uncountable nouns for nature: 'Rural areas have a lot of natural scenery.'

× I prefer the view is in my country, umm, because umm, I'm, I'm from Japan and I I was born and raised in there.

✓ I prefer views in my country because I'm from Japan and I was born and raised there.

Pronoun placement and article errors. 'I prefer the view is in my country' is incorrect; use 'I prefer views in my country.' 'Raised in there' should be 'raised there' without 'in.' Also 'the view' unnecessary definite article. Suggestion: Use 'there' without 'in' and avoid unnecessary 'the' before general nouns: 'I prefer views in my country.'

× So I like the how culture culturized things and how skin scanner, especially the springtime like which is the cherry blossom umm, I.

✓ So I like how culture shapes things and how the scenery changes, especially in spring when the cherry blossoms bloom.

Multiple structural and vocabulary errors. 'How culture culturized things' is awkward; use 'how culture shapes things.' 'How skin scanner' is unintelligible; likely 'scenery changes.' 'Especially the springtime like which is the cherry blossom' should be 'especially in spring when the cherry blossoms bloom.' The sentence is incomplete and needs a final clause. Suggestion: Use clear verbs ('shapes,' 'changes,' 'bloom') and correct relative clauses: 'especially in spring when the cherry blossoms bloom.'