Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct grammatical errors. Start with a clear topic sentence that directly answers the question, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition (e.g., "I just enjoy the moment" repeated) and finish cleanly. Also correct verb forms and complete sentences.

例: Not really. I usually take just one photo on my phone to document where I’ve been because I prefer to enjoy the moment rather than spend time taking pictures. For example, when I travel I focus on the scenery and the experience instead of trying to get perfect photos.

提案: Start with a direct, natural topic sentence and correct small errors (capitalization and article use). Add one specific supporting detail with a linking word to explain why you prefer rural views. Keep it to two or three sentences maximum for clarity.

例: I prefer rural views, especially mountain landscapes. I feel more connected to nature there, and I find the fresh air and quiet scenery much more relaxing than busy city streets.

提案: Provide a clear direct answer, fix grammar and sentence fragments, and give one or two specific reasons with linking words. Avoid vague phrases like "looked into Google"—be precise. End with a complete sentence to avoid trailing off.

例: I prefer views in my own country because I feel more connected to the culture and it is usually cheaper to travel domestically. For instance, the Philippines offers diverse landscapes from beaches to mountains, so I plan to explore more places at home before going abroad.

× No, not really.

✓ No, not really.

Although the sentence is short, it is acceptable as a response. No grammatical correction needed. (Listed for completeness; no change.)

× I just take one photo for documentation using my phone in every specific location that I've been to.

✓ I just take one photo for documentation with my phone at each specific location I visit.

Original has wordiness and mixed tenses. 'in every specific location that I've been to' is awkward. Use 'at each specific location I visit' to match habitual action (present simple) and use the preposition 'with' for the instrument (phone). Also use 'each' instead of 'every' with 'specific' for natural phrasing.

× I just enjoy the moment whenever I travel and I don't have a nice camera so I guess I'm stuck to just enjoy the moment whenever I.

✓ I just enjoy the moment when I travel, and I don't have a nice camera, so I guess I just enjoy the moment.

Original repeats phrases and ends abruptly. 'whenever I' is incomplete. Use 'when' instead of 'whenever' for typical occasions, remove redundant repetition, and place commas to separate clauses. 'stuck to just enjoy' is awkward; 'I just enjoy the moment' conveys the idea clearly.

× Me, I'm much of A countryside guy so I enjoy views in the rural areas, most especially in the mountains.

✓ I'm much more of a countryside guy, so I enjoy views in rural areas, especially in the mountains.

Beginning with 'Me,' is informal and unnecessary. 'much of A countryside guy' has capitalization and article errors; use 'much more of a countryside guy'. 'the rural areas' is too specific; use 'rural areas' without 'the'. 'most especially' is redundant; use 'especially'.

× I feel like I am connected whenever I go there.

✓ I feel connected whenever I go there.

'I feel like I am connected' is grammatically correct but wordy. Use 'I feel connected' for a concise present-state description. Tense and meaning remain present.

× I'm much more connected in my country and I think it is also cheaper to travel in your country as well.

✓ I feel more connected in my own country, and I think it's also cheaper to travel there.

'I'm much more connected in my country' is acceptable but 'in your country' later switches perspective; maintain 'my own country' and use 'there' to avoid repetition. 'as well' and 'also' together are redundant; use one. Contraction 'it's' is natural in speech.

× In the Philippines has a lot to offer though.

✓ The Philippines has a lot to offer, though.

Sentence missing subject before verb: 'In the Philippines has...' is ungrammatical. Use 'The Philippines has...' to provide the subject. Comma before 'though' is optional but natural.

× I have looked into Google in some other countries but I promised to myself that in ever given a chance I would rather travel in my country than.

✓ I have looked at Google for some other countries, but I promised myself that if ever given a chance I would rather travel in my country.

Multiple errors: 'looked into Google in some other countries' should be 'looked at Google for some other countries' (correct preposition and phrasing). 'promised to myself' is incorrect reflexive use; use 'promised myself'. 'in ever given a chance' should be 'if ever given a chance'. End the sentence with the object 'my country' instead of leaving 'than' dangling; 'rather travel in my country' completes the comparison without 'than'.