Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Avoid filler words (uh, like), correct word choice, and make sentences clearer and concise. Start with a direct topic sentence, give one specific example with a brief reason, and keep under five sentences. Use more accurate vocabulary (e.g., “preserve memories” instead of “breeze memories”) and refer clearly to what you remember.

例: Yes, I enjoy photographing different views because it helps me preserve memories of the places I visit. For example, when I see a striking mountain range or a dramatic sunset, I usually take several photos to capture the colors and atmosphere so I can look back later and remember how it felt.

提案: Use correct verbs and plural forms, and tighten language. Begin with a clear preference sentence, then add one or two supporting specifics linked with a cohesive connector (e.g., “because” or “as”). Mention a concrete detail (times, locations, or elements) to make the answer more vivid.

例: I prefer urban views because city skylines feel modern and full of life. For instance, I enjoy photographing the contrast between illuminated skyscrapers and busy streets at night, as the lights and reflections create dynamic compositions.

提案: Correct grammar and word choice, and structure the response: state preference, give clear reasons, and one specific example. Avoid unclear phrases (e.g., “visit decides,” “food reps”) and use accurate nouns and verbs. Add linking words to make the explanation coherent.

例: I prefer views in my own country because we have a rich cultural heritage and many historically significant landmarks. For example, when I visit ancient temples or old town centers, I like to photograph architectural details and street scenes to remember the scenery and to learn more about our traditions.

× Yes, I'm really into taking pictures of different views because it's helped me, uh, breeze memories of places I visit.

✓ Yes, I'm really into taking pictures of different views because they help me preserve memories of places I visit.

The phrase 'it's helped me' uses a singular contraction 'it is' with a past participle 'helped', which is incorrect here. The intended meaning is a habitual present effect, so use plural subject 'they' (referring to pictures) and simple present 'help' for general truth. Also 'breeze' is incorrect word choice; 'preserve' fits the meaning 'keep memories'. Use 'they help me preserve' to match present-tense habit and correct pronoun reference. ID:9

× For example, when I see a beautiful landscape or an interesting sky, uh, like I usually, uh, take a few photos so I can remember the apple fish here.

✓ For example, when I see a beautiful landscape or an interesting sky, I usually take a few photos so I can remember the place later.

The original contains disfluent fillers and the phrase 'apple fish' is nonsensical; likely intended 'a place' or 'the place'. Remove redundant fillers and reorder to a clear main clause. Use 'I usually take' (simple present for habitual action) and 'so I can remember the place later' for clarity. ID:26

× I refer views in urban areas because I find city skyline very modern and exciting.

✓ I prefer views in urban areas because I find the city skyline very modern and exciting.

The verb 'refer' is incorrect; the intended verb is 'prefer' (to like one option more). Also 'city skyline' needs a definite article 'the' to refer to skylines in general and match natural English. Use simple present 'prefer' for general preference. ID:6

× I love the mix of lights and tall building and the scenes of energy, so I often take photographs of the skyline whenever I can.

✓ I love the mix of lights, tall buildings, and the sense of energy, so I often take photographs of the skyline whenever I can.

'Tall building' should be plural 'tall buildings' to agree with 'mix of lights' (plural list). 'Scenes of energy' is awkward; 'sense of energy' is the correct collocation. Also add commas to separate items in the list. Maintain simple present tense for habitual preference. ID:5

× I refer views in my own country because we have a rich cultural heritage and many well research historically significant landmarks.

✓ I prefer views in my own country because we have a rich cultural heritage and many well-researched, historically significant landmarks.

Again 'refer' should be 'prefer' (wrong verb). 'Well research' incorrectly uses base verb 'research' where a past participle adjective 'well-researched' is needed to modify 'landmarks'. Add a comma between coordinated adjectives 'well-researched' and 'historically significant'. Use simple present 'prefer' for general preference. ID:9

× Whenever a visit decides, for example ancient temples or Old Town centres, enjoy taking food reps to remember the scenery and to learn more about our traditions.

✓ For example, when I visit ancient temples or Old Town centres, I enjoy taking photos to remember the scenery and to learn more about our traditions.

The original sentence has incorrect phrase order and wrong words: 'Whenever a visit decides' is ungrammatical. Replace with 'when I visit' to indicate the subject and verb. 'Enjoy taking food reps' is incorrect; likely meant 'I enjoy taking photos'. 'Photos' fits context and 'I enjoy' provides the subject. Maintain present simple 'I enjoy' for habitual actions and parallel infinitives 'to remember... and to learn...'. ID:26