Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make your answer more concise and correct small grammar/word choice errors. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid filler words like “like” and correct vocabulary such as “lighting.”

例: Yes, I enjoy photographing different views because it helps me capture memories. For example, I often experiment with varied angles and natural lighting to create more interesting compositions, and this practice has helped me learn which settings work best.

提案: Open with a direct topic sentence and then give specific reasons using linking words. Correct grammar (e.g., “closer to nature,” “forget my stress”) and avoid repetition. Provide one concrete example or description to support your preference.

例: I prefer rural views because I feel closer to nature and more relaxed. For instance, when I walk in the countryside I can hear birds and see wide fields, which helps me forget stress and feel more peaceful.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence and two specific, well-structured reasons connected by linking words. Fix grammar and unclear phrases (e.g., remove “amateur” or replace with “area” or “region”). Be specific about what types of views you mean.

例: I prefer views in my own country because travel is easier and less expensive. Additionally, in my region there are many mountain landscapes and natural parks, so I can often go on day trips to enjoy scenery without long planning.

× Yes, I really enjoy taking pictures of different views because I would like to capture the moments as a memory and just like remember about this with smile and I really love experimenting with taking pictures from different angles and with like different lightnings.

✓ Yes, I really enjoy taking pictures of different views because I would like to capture the moments as memories and just remember them with a smile, and I really love experimenting with taking pictures from different angles and with different lighting.

Errors: 'a memory' should be plural 'memories' to match 'moments' (singular/plural mismatch -> Grammar problem type 1), 'remember about this' is incorrect collocation; use 'remember them' (incorrect use of prepositions/pronouns -> types 11 and 12), 'with smile' needs an article or determiner: 'with a smile' (article error -> type 22), 'like' used as filler can be removed, 'lightnings' is incorrect plural and word choice; correct is 'lighting' (incorrect use of nouns and pluralization -> types 1 and 13). Suggestions: keep parallel structure, remove filler 'like', use 'memories', 'remember them with a smile', and 'different lighting'.

× I prefer more rural areas because I'm more close to nature and like just being in nature makes me feel free and just makes me forgot forget about all my stress.

✓ I prefer rural areas because I'm closer to nature, and being in nature makes me feel free and helps me forget all my stress.

Errors: 'more rural areas' is awkward; use 'rural areas' or 'prefer rural areas' (word choice/quantifier -> type 14), 'I'm more close' should be 'I'm closer' (comparative/adjective form -> type 6/18), 'like' is filler and should be removed, 'just makes me forgot forget' contains wrong verb form 'forgot' instead of 'forget' (past vs base form -> past tense issue type 5) and duplication. Also sentence had pronoun and structure issues. Suggestions: use 'closer to nature', remove fillers, and use 'helps me forget' for clarity.

× It just makes me feel like I'm part of the nature.

✓ It just makes me feel like I'm part of nature.

Error: 'the nature' is incorrect; 'nature' as a general concept does not require the definite article (article error -> type 22). Suggestion: use 'part of nature' without 'the'.

× I prefer views in my own country because it's easy to travel here and just like cheaper than other countries.

✓ I prefer views in my own country because it's easy to travel here and it's cheaper than in other countries.

Errors: missing subject and verb in second clause; add 'it's' for clarity (sentence structure -> type 26). 'Cheaper than other countries' should be 'cheaper than in other countries' to compare the cost of traveling here with traveling in other countries (incorrect comparison object/preposition -> types 19 and 11). Remove filler 'like'. Suggestion: include 'it's' and 'in' before 'other countries'.

× Also here in my city amateur it's lots of views to mountains and you can just be connected with nature.

✓ Also, here in my city there are lots of mountain views, and you can feel connected with nature.

Errors: word order and incorrect words 'amateur' and 'it's' create ungrammatical phrase (sentence structure/error -> type 26). 'There are' is needed to state existence (There be issue -> type 3). 'views to mountains' is incorrect preposition; use 'mountain views' or 'views of the mountains' (preposition issue -> type 11). 'be connected with nature' is okay but 'feel connected with nature' is more natural. Suggestions: use 'there are lots of mountain views' or 'lots of views of the mountains' and 'you can feel connected with nature'.