Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Cevap doğal ve ilgili; ancak daha kısa ve net bir konu cümlesi ile başlayıp supporting detayları bağlaçlarla daha akıcı hale getirebilirsin. Ayrıca gereksiz tekrarları azalt ve örneği bir cümleyle özetle. Örneğin, “I enjoy landscapes because they relax me and help preserve memories” gibi bir giriş yap, sonra “For example” ile örneği ver.

例: I enjoy photographing landscapes because they relax me and help preserve travel memories. For example, I often photograph sunsets when I travel so I can look back on the trip and share the images with friends.

提案: Cevapta telaffuz/sözcük seçimi hataları ve anlamsal karışıklık var (“wheels”, “triangulated”). Cümleleri basit ve net tut; gereksiz duraklamalardan (uh) kaçın ve bağlaçlarla mantıksal akış oluştur. Örneğin neden kırsal alanları tercih ettiğini iki kısa destekleyici cümle ile açıkla.

例: I prefer rural views because I find the countryside, beaches and forests very calming. In these quiet places I feel less stressed and more comfortable, so I enjoy photographing them.

提案: Cevap samimi fakat tekrarlar ve duraksamalar var; fiil uyumuna dikkat et (takes → take). Bir karşılaştırma sunarak daha yapılandırılmış cevap ver: önce tercihini söyle, sonra nedenini ve bir örnek ekle. Gereksiz tekrarları çıkar.

例: I love the views in my own country, but I also want to photograph landscapes abroad to see new coastlines and sunsets. For instance, I hope to visit Japan and capture its unique coastal scenery.

× I prefer wheels in rural areas because the seaside and forests relaxed me in bring a feeling of triangulated.

✓ I prefer views in rural areas because the seaside and forests relax me and bring a feeling of tranquility.

The student used 'wheels' instead of 'views' and 'relaxed me in bring a feeling of triangulated' is ungrammatical and contains wrong word choices. This is a sentence structure error (26) and subject-verb agreement tense issue (6/27) because 'forests' should take the present verb 'relax' not past 'relaxed'. Replace 'wheels' with 'views', change 'relaxed me' to 'relax me', and replace 'bring a feeling of triangulated' with 'bring a feeling of tranquility'. Suggestion: choose correct vocabulary (views, tranquility) and ensure verbs match present-tense habitual meaning ('relax', 'bring').

× In these quiet places I feel more comfortable and less stressed and this place far from uh people and uh, relaxed me.

✓ In these quiet places I feel more comfortable and less stressed because they are far from people and relax me.

The sentence mixes tenses and lacks proper verb and connector. This is a present tense issue (6) and sentence structure error (26). Use present simple 'they are far' to describe a general state and 'relax' (present) to match 'I feel'. Also replace 'this place' with 'they' or 'these places' to agree with plural subject. Remove filler 'uh'. Suggestion: keep subject number consistent and use present simple for general truths: 'they are far from people and relax me'.

× Actually, I love my country's views, but I want to travel and takes photos of different countries and I want to see different uh, uh, seaside, different uh, sunset and uh, country.

✓ Actually, I love my country's views, but I want to travel and take photos of different countries and see different seascapes, sunsets, and countryside.

The errors include incorrect verb form 'takes' (should be 'take') which is a third person singular issue if misapplied but here it's a simple verb form error (2/6), and incorrect noun choices and article use (22/11). Replace 'seaside' with 'seascapes' or 'seaside scenes', use plural 'sunsets', and 'countryside' instead of 'country' for the intended meaning. Suggestion: after 'I want to' use base verb 'take' and use correct plural nouns and collocations: 'take photos of different countries' and 'see different seascapes, sunsets, and countryside'.