Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and reduce hesitations and repetitions. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Improve pronunciation of key words and avoid filler sounds like “uh.”

例: Yes, I love taking pictures because I’m a photographer. In particular, I enjoy shooting landscapes and cityscapes, and I often capture the day-to-day lives of people to show authentic moments.

提案: Give a direct topic sentence and then provide specific reasons with linking words. Avoid vague phrases and correct plural/word choice errors (e.g., “nature” not “natures”). Keep responses within 3–4 sentences and remove filler phrases like “you know.”

例: I prefer rural views because they offer wide open spaces and clear sightlines. For example, I can photograph mountains, fields of grass, and isolated trees, which create a peaceful atmosphere and strong compositions.

提案: Begin with a concise answer, then explain with specific intentions and avoid repetition. Use linking words like “however” or “for example” to structure the answer and avoid hesitations such as repeating phrases.

例: I haven’t traveled abroad yet, but I would like to visit countries like Canada or Japan. For example, I’m curious to photograph different cultures and landscapes to compare them with the scenes I capture in the Philippines.

× I enjoy St. photography, landscapes and cityscapes because I do like uh T shooting very interesting scenes surrounding me.

✓ I enjoy street photography, landscapes, and cityscapes because I like shooting very interesting scenes that surround me.

The original sentence contains incorrect word forms and fillers ('St.', 'uh', 'T') and awkward adjective/adverb usage. 'St. photography' should be 'street photography' (correct noun phrase). 'I do like uh T shooting' is ungrammatical; remove fillers and the unnecessary auxiliary 'do' for natural present simple. Use 'that surround me' to form a clear relative clause. Suggestion: remove disfluencies, use correct noun forms, and keep simple present tense for habitual actions.

× I feel like I do prefer rural areas because it's a very open wide field and it has a lot of natures in it like trees, grass and I can see mountains and it can, I can easily see the sun and also the cities are, you know, very far away.

✓ I prefer rural areas because there are very wide open fields and a lot of nature, like trees and grass, and I can see mountains and the sun, and the cities are, you know, very far away.

Errors: 'it's a very open wide field' mismatches singular/plural and word order—use 'very wide open fields'. 'a lot of natures' is pluralized incorrectly; 'nature' is an uncountable noun. Remove redundant auxiliaries ('I do prefer', 'it can, I can'). Use 'there are' to introduce plural locations. Suggestion: use correct noun number (fields), use uncountable 'nature', simplify by removing unnecessary auxiliaries.

× I currently don't have experience of traveling outside of my country, but I really do want to travel maybe even in Canada or Japan.

✓ I currently don't have experience traveling outside my country, but I really want to travel, maybe to Canada or Japan.

Use of 'experience of traveling' is awkward; 'experience traveling' or 'experience of traveling' can be used but 'experience traveling' is more natural. 'Do' auxiliary in 'really do want' is unnecessary for affirmation; remove for natural present simple. Use preposition 'to' after 'travel' for destination. Suggestion: simplify phrasing and use 'to' with destination names.

× I really want to experience what it's what it's like outside of my country and what does it look like, you know, compared to my country that I'm living in right now in the Philippines.

✓ I really want to experience what it's like outside my country and see how it looks compared to the country I live in now, the Philippines.

The original contains a repeated phrase 'what it's what it's like' and an incorrect embedded question 'what does it look like' inside a statement. This creates a sentence structure error. Use direct noun clause 'what it's like' and parallel structure 'and see how it looks compared to...' Also simplify 'my country that I'm living in right now in the Philippines' to 'the country I live in now, the Philippines.' Suggestion: avoid repeating fragments, use correct noun clauses rather than direct question word order inside statements, and streamline relative clauses.