Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be clearer and more concise: start with a direct topic sentence, avoid repetition, correct grammar (tense and articles), and add one specific reason or short example. Use linking words for coherence.

例: Yes, I enjoy taking photos of different views because they help me preserve memories of places I visit. For example, when I visited the beach last summer I took several photos of the sunset, which I later shared with my friends and showed to my family.

提案: Begin with a clear preference sentence, avoid filler words (uh), use precise vocabulary (architecture, sculptures) and give one specific supporting detail or short example with a linking word.

例: I prefer photographing urban views because cities have diverse architecture and interesting sculptures. For instance, I like to photograph modern glass buildings and historic monuments because they show different styles and tell a story about the city.

提案: Structure the answer: state your preference, then give specific comparisons and concrete examples. Correct grammar (singular/plural, articles) and finish the sentence. Use linking words such as "because" and "for example".

例: I prefer both my country and other countries because each place offers unique scenery and culture. For example, in India I enjoy photographing the Himalayan landscapes, while in Paris I would photograph historic streets and famous landmarks like the Eiffel Tower.

× I'm fond of photographing different views 'cause it helped me to feed all of the all of the sceneries that I went through and it will be such a great memories for me and I can also share it with my friends and.

✓ I'm fond of photographing different views because it helps me to preserve all of the scenery that I have seen; they will be great memories for me and I can also share them with my friends.

Errors: incorrect verb tense and form ('helped me to feed' is wrong), plural/article errors ('all of the sceneries', 'a great memories'), pronoun reference and verb agreement. Use present simple 'helps' to match habitual action, use 'preserve' or 'capture' instead of 'feed', use uncountable 'scenery' or 'scenes', use present perfect 'have seen' to refer to experiences up to now, make subject/verb and pronoun number agree ('they will be', 'share them'). Suggestions: replace informal 'cause' with 'because', use 'scenery' (uncountable) or 'scenes', use consistent tense and correct plural forms.

× I love to capture pictures of urban areas because they have more, uh, beautiful and developed buildings and architectural scripts, sculptures.

✓ I love to take pictures of urban areas because they have more beautiful, developed buildings and architectural sculptures.

Errors: awkward word choice and word order ('capture pictures' is acceptable but 'take pictures' is more natural; 'more, uh, beautiful and developed' places 'more' incorrectly), incorrect phrase 'architectural scripts'. Remove filler 'uh' in writing and place adjectives in correct order: opinion before participle adjective ('beautiful, developed'). Replace 'architectural scripts' with 'architectural sculptures' or 'architectural features'. Suggestions: use natural collocations 'take pictures', order adjectives as opinion then participle.

× So, uh, it will be a great thing to capture those architectural sculptures and keep it as a memory. So.

✓ So it will be great to capture those architectural sculptures and keep them as memories.

Errors: pronoun and number disagreement ('keep it as a memory' should match plural 'those sculptures' -> 'keep them as memories'), unnecessary filler 'uh' and extra 'So' at end. Use plural 'memories' or singular 'a memory' with singular antecedent. Suggestions: ensure pronouns agree with their antecedents and avoid disfluencies in speech transcripts when writing.

× To be honest, I prefer both of them 'cause each countries have their own beauties and sculptures.

✓ To be honest, I prefer both because each country has its own beauty and sculptures.

Errors: quantifier and number agreement ('each countries' is incorrect; 'each' must be followed by singular noun), subject-verb agreement ('countries have' should be 'country has'), and word choice ('beauties' is odd; 'beauty' is better as uncountable). Also replace informal 'cause' with 'because'. Suggestions: after 'each' use singular noun and singular verb, and prefer 'beauty' or 'beautiful features'.

× So I'm from India, so India has beautiful landscapes and Himalayas especially in the northern part and for other countries like especially if you say Paris, they have very beautiful.

✓ I'm from India, which has beautiful landscapes and the Himalayas, especially in the northern part. Other countries, such as Paris, are also very beautiful.

Errors: run-on sentence, awkward referencing ('for other countries like especially if you say Paris' is ungrammatical), missing article 'the' before 'Himalayas', and vague ending 'they have very beautiful'. Fix by splitting into two sentences, use relative clause 'which has', include definite article 'the Himalayas', and rephrase the Paris example to 'Other places, such as Paris, are also very beautiful.' Suggestions: break long sentences into clearer parts, use appropriate articles for geographic names, and keep parallel structure when giving examples.