Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is clear and relevant but too hesitating and slightly repetitive. Reduce filler words (uh, um), use 1–2 supporting details, and keep it within 3–4 concise sentences. Add a topic sentence, one specific reason or example, and a concluding comment. Use linking words (for example, because, so) to make it coherent.

例: Yes, I enjoy taking photographs of different views. For example, when I travel I often photograph landscapes and cityscapes because I like preserving memories of places I visit. I usually focus on lighting and composition to make my pictures more interesting.

提案: The idea is clear but the answer is affected by hesitations and awkward phrasing. Start with a direct topic sentence, then give one specific reason and an example. Replace vague phrases like 'inside the rural areas' and avoid repeating the same point. Use linking words (because, for example, therefore) for coherence.

例: I prefer views in rural areas because they are more peaceful and scenic. For example, I grew up near a lake and often watched the sunrise there, which gave me lasting positive memories. Therefore, rural landscapes feel more attractive to me than busy city scenes.

提案: Your answer communicates preference but lacks precision and natural phrasing. Avoid short fragmented sentences and explain briefly why you prefer your country with a specific detail or frequency phrased naturally (e.g., 'twice a year'). Use linking words like 'because' and give an example to support your view.

例: I prefer views in my own country because I know the culture and scenery well. I visit different regions twice a year to explore beaches and mountains, so I appreciate the familiar landscapes more than foreign ones.

× Ah, yes, I really like taking pictures of different views and whenever I visit, uh, different places, I uh, often, uh, capture, uh, different views.

✓ Ah, yes, I really like taking pictures of different views, and whenever I visit different places, I often capture different scenes.

The original sentence overuses filler words and repeats 'different views'. Replace redundant words and use 'capture different scenes' for variety. The gerund 'taking' is correct, but phrase clarity and concision improve the sentence. Suggest removing fillers (uh) and redundant repetition; keep the present simple tense for habitual actions.

× I prefer views in UH rural areas because rural areas are more beautiful and I have lots of personal experience inside the rural areas, so that's why I do believe that UH rural areas are the best.

✓ I prefer views in rural areas because they are more beautiful and I have a lot of personal experience in rural areas, so I believe rural areas are the best.

Remove the interjection 'UH'. Use 'in rural areas' not 'inside the rural areas'. 'Lots of' can be changed to 'a lot of' for formality. Avoid repeating 'rural areas' excessively; use pronouns ('they') to refer back. 'Do believe' is unnecessary; simple present 'believe' is preferred for statements of opinion.

× I prefer in my own country.

✓ I prefer it in my own country.

The verb 'prefer' typically requires an object or to be followed by an infinitive or clause. Adding 'it' clarifies what is preferred (the views). Alternatively, say 'I prefer views in my own country.' This corrects the missing object and prepositional clarity.

× My country is very beautiful and I have lots of visits to different places.

✓ My country is very beautiful and I visit many different places.

'I have lots of visits' is awkward; use simple present 'I visit' to describe habitual action. 'Many different places' is more natural than 'lots of visits to different places.' Maintain present tense for habitual actions.

× I usually go 2 * a year.

✓ I usually go twice a year.

Use the word 'twice' instead of '2 *' and include the object: 'go' where? Context implies 'I usually go [there] twice a year.' Better: 'I usually go there twice a year.' Use words for frequency rather than symbols and ensure the sentence includes the implied place if needed.