Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is clear and natural, but could be more concise and include a brief reason or a short example. Avoid repeating the phrase “taking pictures of different views.” Use one strong topic sentence followed by a supporting detail using a linking word.

例: Yes, I do. Taking photographs of landscapes relaxes me because focusing on details like light and color helps me unwind. For example, when I visit a park I enjoy capturing reflections in ponds, which makes me feel calm.

提案: Your idea is clear, but the answer is repetitive and has grammatical errors. Keep it to one topic sentence and one or two supporting details with linking words. Correct word order and avoid repeating phrases like “full of city.”

例: I prefer rural views because they offer scenic landscapes and open spaces. For instance, I enjoy photographing rolling hills and traditional farms, which feel more peaceful compared with crowded city streets.

提案: You express preference but the sentence is unclear and contains awkward phrasing. State a direct topic sentence, then give a specific reason and an example. Use linking words (e.g., because, for example) and correct possessive/noun forms.

例: I prefer views in the Philippines because they are uniquely diverse, from beaches to rice terraces. For example, the Banaue Rice Terraces showcase a landscape and culture I don’t find elsewhere.

× I must say that I prefer the rural areas because it because I'd like to take and seek a view in rural areas because of its scenic beauty unlike in urban areas that full of city full of buildings in the city.

✓ I must say that I prefer rural areas because I like to find and photograph scenic views there, unlike urban areas which are full of buildings.

The original sentence has multiple structural problems: repetition ('because it because', 'full of city full of buildings in the city'), incorrect clause linking ('unlike in urban areas that full of city'), and awkward verb choices ('take and seek a view'). These are sentence structure errors (Type 26). Improve by removing repetitions, choosing correct verbs ('find and photograph' or 'look for and photograph'), and using a relative clause with correct verb form ('which are full of buildings'). Also use consistent reference ('rural areas' not 'the rural areas') and correct pronoun/verb agreement ('which are').

× Philippines has its own giving so I think I prefer my own country this compared to other countries because my country has its unique beauty unlike the other country.

✓ The Philippines has its own charm, so I think I prefer my own country compared to other countries because it has unique beauty.

This sentence contains awkward phrasing and incorrect word choices ('giving' instead of 'charm', 'this compared to'), repetition and incorrect reference ('the other country'). These are sentence structure errors (Type 26). Improve by using correct vocabulary ('charm'), a clear comparison phrase ('compared to other countries'), and consistent pronoun reference ('it' for the Philippines). Also include the definite article 'The' before 'Philippines'.