Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is clear and relevant, but it is slightly redundant and contains minor grammar/word-choice issues (e.g., "pocketable" -> "pocket-sized", "for me to capture" -> "to capture"). Reduce repetition and add one specific example to make the response more vivid. Keep answers concise (max 4–5 short sentences) and use linking words like "for example" or "such as."

例: Yes — I enjoy taking pictures of different views. I bought a pocket-sized camera last year to capture cinematic scenes and natural landscapes. For example, I often photograph my city’s skyline at sunset and nearby mountain ranges in the morning light. I especially like experimenting with composition and lighting.

提案: Your main idea is clear, but the sentence has grammar and coherence issues (e.g., "so" is unnecessary, "how the sky changing" should be "how the sky changes during sunset"). Make one clear topic sentence, then add a specific reason and an example, using linking words like "because" and "for instance."

例: I prefer rural views because they feel more peaceful and natural. For instance, I love beaches with fine white sand and watching the sky change colors at sunset. These scenes are calmer than busy cityscapes and are easier to photograph.

提案: The answer is short and repetitive ("preserved and preserved"). Also it starts with a vague "Yes, I do" which doesn't directly address the question. Begin with a clear statement (e.g., "I prefer views in my own country"), give a specific reason and an example, and avoid repetition. Use linking words like "because" and "for example."

例: I prefer views in my own country because the Philippines has many well-preserved, white-sand beaches that are peaceful and less crowded. For example, I often visit a small island near my hometown where the beaches are quiet and the water is clear, which makes it perfect for photography.

× Yes, I do like taking pictures of different views.

✓ Yes, I like taking pictures of different views.

The original sentence uses redundant auxiliary 'do' with a present simple affirmative that already expresses preference. Remove 'do' for natural usage: 'I like.' Keep 'taking' as the correct -ing form after 'like.'

× In fact, I bought a pocketable camera last year for me to capture cinematic scenes and natural views.

✓ In fact, I bought a pocketable camera last year to capture cinematic scenes and natural views.

The phrase 'for me to capture' is an unnecessary and awkward infinitive construction. Use 'to capture' after 'bought a camera' to indicate purpose. This keeps clear sentence structure and correct infinitive use.

× So I like capturing cityscapes, landscapes and so.

✓ So I like capturing cityscapes, landscapes, and similar scenes.

The informal phrase 'and so' is vague and ungrammatical in this context. Replace with 'and similar scenes' for clarity and proper sentence structure. Include a serial comma before 'and' for clarity.

× I prefer views in rural areas because I really love visiting beaches so and I like how fine the white sands are and how the sky changing its colors during sun.

✓ I prefer views in rural areas because I really love visiting beaches, and I like how fine the white sand is and how the sky changes color during the sunset.

Multiple issues: 'so' is unnecessary and should be removed; 'white sands' is better as uncountable 'white sand' here (article/numbering issue but treated as adjective use); 'how the sky changing its colors' uses the present participle incorrectly—use simple present 'changes' for habitual observation; 'during sun' is ungrammatical—use 'during the sunset' or 'at sunset.' Also join clauses with 'and' and add commas for readability.

× Yes, I do. As I mentioned, I like visiting beaches and the Philippines has a lot of preserved and preserved white beaches and I really like peaceful and less crowded areas.

✓ Yes. As I mentioned, I like visiting beaches, and the Philippines has many well-preserved white beaches; I really like peaceful, less crowded areas.

Remove redundant 'do' after 'Yes' for succinctness. 'Preserved and preserved' is duplicated—use 'well-preserved.' Use 'many' instead of 'a lot of' for formality and clarity. Combine ideas with appropriate punctuation (comma and semicolon). Use comma between adjectives 'peaceful, less crowded.' Pronoun issues: none major, but sentence needed restructuring for clarity and grammatical adjective use.