Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more coherent and directly address the question with a clear topic sentence, avoid fragments, and give 1–2 specific supporting details linked logically. Use linking words (for example, because, when, and) and correct grammar to improve clarity.

例: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of different views because they help me remember special moments. For example, when I travel with my cousin I often photograph landscapes and family gatherings, and I also take portraits when I dress up.

提案: Start with a clear preference statement, then give two specific, grammatical reasons connected with linking words. Avoid repetitions and incorrect phrases.

例: I prefer views in rural areas because they are more peaceful and green. For instance, I enjoy the fresh air and wide landscapes, which help me relax and take more interesting photos.

提案: Clarify your view with a clear topic sentence (either both or one), avoid contradicting fragments, and provide specific reasons using linking words. Correct grammar (e.g., "cultural traditions") and remove unclear statements like "I don't want."

例: I enjoy views in both my country and abroad because each offers something different. At home I appreciate familiar cultural traditions and landscapes, while traveling abroad I like discovering new scenery and unique customs that I often see on social media.

× Yes, I do like taking pictures of different views.

✓ Yes, I do like taking pictures of different views.

No change needed: the gerund 'taking' is used correctly after 'like'. This sentence is grammatically correct.

× I love capturing images when I'm dressed up.

✓ I love capturing images when I'm dressed up.

No change needed: sentence structure is correct and fits the context of photographing oneself when dressed up.

× Having my cousin coming up at family gatherings while traveling.

✓ My cousin comes to family gatherings when we travel.

The original is a sentence fragment with incorrect structure. Use a finite verb to form a complete sentence. 'My cousin comes' gives a clear subject and verb; 'when we travel' clarifies the timing.

× I take a lot of pictures.

✓ I take a lot of pictures.

No change needed: present simple correctly expresses a habitual action.

× I prefer views in rural areas because the places come soothing and offer you you are good time.

✓ I prefer views in rural areas because the places are soothing and offer you a good time.

Errors: 'come soothing' is incorrect collocation; use 'are soothing' (adjective with to be). Duplicate 'you' and incorrect phrase 'you are good time' should be 'offer you a good time.' Use 'offer you a good time' or 'provide a pleasant experience.'

× I love the greenery, beautiful landscape.

✓ I love the greenery and the beautiful landscapes.

List items need parallel structure and correct articles. Add 'and' to join two nouns and pluralize 'landscape' or use 'the beautiful landscape' to match singular; adding 'the' before both creates clarity.

× Well, I enjoy both at home and have been visiting different places.

✓ Well, I enjoy both staying at home and visiting different places.

Tense and clarity: 'enjoy both at home' is vague. Use parallel gerund phrases 'staying at home and visiting different places' to show the two things you enjoy. Alternatively, keep present perfect continuous 'have been visiting' only if emphasizing recent activity, but parallelism is preferred here.

× I love the culture tradition which is familiar, but I also want to discover abroad.

✓ I love the familiar culture and traditions at home, but I also want to discover cultures abroad.

Problems: 'culture tradition' is ungrammatical; use 'culture and traditions' or 'cultural traditions.' 'Which is familiar' should be 'familiar' modifying culture/traditions. 'Discover abroad' needs an object: 'discover cultures abroad' or 'travel abroad to discover new cultures.'

× The culture, scenery, uniqueness which I find very interesting on social media, I don't want.

✓ The culture, scenery, and uniqueness I find very interesting on social media make me want to visit those places.

Original sentence is ungrammatical and contradicts meaning with 'I don't want.' It is a fragment with misplaced clause. Recast with a clear subject and verb: list items followed by relative clause 'I find very interesting on social media' and a main clause showing consequence, e.g., 'make me want to visit those places.'