Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and complete your sentences. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific examples with brief reasons. Avoid hesitation and unfinished thoughts.

例: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of different views. For example, I often photograph natural scenes such as trees, flowers and dramatic skies because they change with the seasons and light. I also like capturing historic buildings like the Palace Museum for their intricate architecture and cultural significance.

提案: Provide a clear direct answer first (urban or rural), then support it with two concise reasons using linking words. Correct grammar and avoid fillers.

例: I prefer urban views. Firstly, I have lived in the city for many years, so I appreciate the skyline, historic buildings and lively streets. However, I also visit rural areas sometimes to enjoy peaceful natural landscapes, which helps me relax.

提案: Answer directly and give specific contrasting examples. Use linking words (for example, also, however) and avoid repetition and hesitations. Mention particular features that make views special.

例: I like views both in my country and abroad. For example, in China I enjoy places like the Forbidden City and the classical gardens of Suzhou because of their historical architecture and deliberate landscapes. At the same time, I appreciate foreign scenery for different cultural styles and natural formations.

× I take many pictures in my daily life about different types of views.

✓ I take many pictures in my daily life of different types of views.

The preposition 'about' is incorrect here; use 'of' to indicate what the pictures are of. This is classified as a singular/plural type because it affects phrase structure describing countable items. Suggestion: use 'pictures of' or 'many photos of various views.'

× Some of them are natural views like the trees, flowers, the sky, the clouds in the sky and sometimes they are very fancy buildings like the Palace Museum, the Forbidden City.

✓ Some of them are natural views, like trees, flowers, the sky, and clouds, and sometimes they are grand buildings such as the Palace Museum and the Forbidden City.

Original sentence is long and has redundant phrases ('the sky' and 'the clouds in the sky') and mixed structures; this is a sentence structure error. Suggestion: simplify lists, remove repetition, and use parallel structure ('trees, flowers, the sky, and clouds'). Use 'such as' for examples of buildings.

× They are very ancient and.

✓ They are very ancient.

The sentence ends with an incomplete conjunction 'and' causing sentence fragmentation; this is a sentence structure error. Suggestion: remove the trailing 'and' or add a completion (e.g., 'and well preserved').

× A will aside, lives in the city for many years, I'm quite used to the city views.

✓ As for me, I have lived in the city for many years, so I'm quite used to city views.

Original has incorrect phrase 'A will aside' and wrong verb tense; pronoun/reference and sentence form errors. Classified under incorrect use of pronouns because 'A will aside' likely attempts 'As for me.' Suggestion: use clear introductory phrase 'As for me' and present perfect 'have lived' to show duration up to now.

× However I do enjoy go to the rural areas and see the natural views from time to time.

✓ However, I do enjoy going to rural areas and seeing natural views from time to time.

After 'enjoy' the gerund (-ing) form is required, so 'going' and 'seeing' should be used. Suggestion: use 'enjoy doing something.'

× Umm which I prefer I think is still the city views because it the.

✓ Which I prefer, I think, is still city views because they are more familiar to me.

Original is fragmented and lacks a verb and agreement ('it the'). This is a sentence structure error. Suggestion: restructure the sentence, add a verb, and ensure subject-verb agreement ('they are').

× Well, I say I like both.

✓ Well, I'd say I like both.

'I say' is unnatural in this context; 'I'd say' or 'I would say' is the correct idiomatic expression. This is a pronoun/phrase usage issue. Suggestion: use 'I'd say' when giving an opinion.

× Umm, like in China, there are many like Chinese type of agriculture, umm like the Forbidden City and uh, there are many famous park, uh, in the South area like Suzhou, uh, they, they have very special style.

✓ In China, there are many types of traditional agriculture, and attractions such as the Forbidden City; there are also many famous parks in the southern areas, like Suzhou, which have a very special style.

Multiple issues: 'Chinese type of agriculture' is awkward; 'many famous park' is noun-number mismatch; overall modifiers and word order are wrong. Classified under incorrect use of adjectives/adverbs because descriptive phrases are incorrect. Suggestions: use 'many types of traditional agriculture,' pluralize 'parks,' and use 'southern areas' or 'the south.' Also avoid filler words and repeaters.