Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make your response more concise and organized. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific reasons with a linking word, and finish with a brief example. Avoid redundancy (e.g., 'landscapes' and 'sceneries' mean the same) and small grammar fixes (use 'to my friends').

例: Yes, I enjoy photographing different views when I travel because I like to capture landscapes and city skylines. For example, I often take wide shots of mountains and tall buildings and then share them on social media or send them to my friends to show where I have been.

提案: Clarify your preference and avoid contradictions. Use a clear topic sentence stating which you prefer (rural). Correct grammar (e.g., 'too much peace' → 'a lot of peace' or 'peace of mind'), and avoid repetition. Use a linking word to provide reasons and one specific detail or example.

例: I prefer rural views because they offer peace of mind and quiet surroundings. For instance, in the northern countryside I enjoy mountain scenery and open landscapes, which help me relax more than busy city views.

提案: Be direct and give a specific reason plus a brief example. Improve sentence flow by using linking words and fixing grammar (e.g., 'I prefer views in my own country because we have a seaside called Seaview in Karachi'). Avoid vague phrasing like 'it's my hobby' without explaining what you mean.

例: I prefer views in my own country because we have beautiful spots like Seaview in Karachi. For example, I often go there to sit by the sea, relax, and take photos of the waves and the coastline, which is one of my favorite pastimes.

× Yes, I like taking pictures of different views when I'm traveling because I like to capture the landscapes and the city skyline also and sceneries.

✓ Yes, I like taking pictures of different views when I'm traveling because I like to capture landscapes, the city skyline, and other sceneries.

Parallel structure and word order: 'the landscapes and the city skyline also and sceneries' is awkward and not parallel. Combine items in a clear list using commas and 'and' before the last item. Also remove the extra article before 'landscapes' to keep consistent plural nouns. Suggestion: List items as 'landscapes, the city skyline, and other sceneries.'

× So I share on social media and send to the friends to see where I have been.

✓ So I share them on social media and send them to friends to show where I have been.

Pronoun reference and article usage: 'share on social media and send to the friends' lacks an object pronoun for what is shared/sent and uses an unnecessary definite article before 'friends.' Use 'them' to refer to the pictures, and 'friends' without 'the.' Use 'show' rather than 'see' to indicate purpose.

× I like northern areas because in northern areas there are too much peace, you know, Peace of Mind, the silence, the mountains and the views, also the landscapes, the sceneries.

✓ I like northern areas because there is so much peace there, you know, peace of mind, the silence, the mountains, the views, and the landscapes.

Preposition and quantifier errors: Repeating 'in northern areas' is redundant; place 'there' after 'peace' for natural order. 'Too much peace' is incorrect in this context; use 'so much peace' or 'a lot of peace.' 'Peace of Mind' should be lowercase 'peace of mind.' Also streamline the list with commas and remove duplicate 'the sceneries' since 'landscapes' covers it.

× So I like to enjoy it other rather than the city and the rural areas.

✓ So I prefer to enjoy it elsewhere rather than in the city or in other rural areas.

Word choice and preposition: 'enjoy it other' is ungrammatical. Use 'elsewhere' to indicate a different place. Also clarify contrast with 'rather than' by adding 'in' before locations and use 'or' to connect alternatives. If meaning was to prefer northern areas over both city and rural areas, say 'rather than the city or other rural areas.'

× I prefer views in my country also because in my country there is a seaside named Seaview and this is in Karachi.

✓ I also prefer views in my country because there is a seaside called Seaview in Karachi.

Word order and article use: Move 'also' to a natural position ('also prefer'). 'There is' is acceptable but rephrase to avoid repetition of 'in my country.' Use 'called' rather than 'named' for natural speech. Place 'in Karachi' after the place name.

× So I like to go there and enjoy myself and I sit there and relax sometimes it's my hobby.

✓ So I like to go there and enjoy myself; I sit and relax there sometimes because it's my hobby.

Sentence structure and punctuation: The original is a run-on with awkward word order. Use a semicolon or period to separate clauses. Put 'sit and relax there sometimes' for natural order and add 'because' to explain that it's a hobby. Maintain present tense but correct word order and punctuation.