Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is clear and relevant, but it is slightly repetitive and has some grammar and word-choice errors. To improve: 1) Begin with a concise topic sentence. 2) Use varied vocabulary (e.g., "landscapes" or "scenic views" instead of repeating "sceneries"). 3) Correct collocations and tenses (e.g., "I often go to parks to capture scenic views"; avoid "chase the natural sceneries"). 4) Keep sentences to a maximum of about 3–4, and add one concrete detail or brief reason. Use linking words like "for example" or "also" to connect ideas smoothly.

例: Yes, I enjoy photographing scenic landscapes. For example, I often visit parks in the late afternoon to capture warm light, and I also take photos at historical sites such as the Summer Palace to show architectural details and atmosphere.

提案: Good idea and reasoning, but the sentence has grammatical mistakes and could be more concise. To improve: 1) Start with a direct topic sentence: "I prefer urban views." 2) Correct relative clauses and articles (e.g., "which you can use to create an interesting image" rather than "use them to construct a interesting view"). 3) Add one specific example of what you like photographing in cities (e.g., street scenes, markets). 4) Use linking words like "because" and "for instance" to make the logic explicit.

例: I prefer urban views because the combination of architecture and people creates more dynamic scenes. For instance, I like photographing busy markets and street performers to capture human expressions and everyday life.

提案: A personal and relevant answer, but improve fluency and word choice. To improve: 1) Give a clear topic sentence: "I prefer views in my own country." 2) Replace awkward phrases (e.g., "special emotion" → "a strong emotional connection"). 3) Use correct tense and concise expressions ("I recall the country’s magnificent history" instead of "had"). 4) Add a brief specific example of a site and what you notice when photographing it.

例: I prefer views in my own country because I feel a strong emotional connection and cultural understanding. For example, when I photograph a historical site like the Forbidden City, I focus on details that remind me of its rich history and traditional architecture.

× I always go to some parks and to chase the natural sceneries at the special time like in the afternoon and also some historical sites like Summer Palace or the Forbidden Palace.

✓ I always go to parks to chase natural scenery at special times, like in the afternoon, and visit historical sites such as the Summer Palace or the Forbidden Palace.

The original sentence uses 'to chase' after 'go to' which is awkward and mixes infinitive structures; 'chase' describing an ongoing activity should be expressed as 'to chase' only if paired correctly, but better is 'go to parks to chase' or using gerund 'chasing'. Also 'some parks' and 'the natural sceneries' are unnatural; use 'parks' and 'natural scenery' (uncountable). 'At the special time like in the afternoon' is incorrect article and phrasing; use 'at special times, like in the afternoon'. Clarify parallel structure when adding 'and visit historical sites such as...'. Suggestions: use parallel infinitives or gerunds consistently and prefer uncountable 'scenery' or plural 'views' depending on meaning.

× I prefer views in urban areas because there are not only sceneries but also people which you can use them to construct a interesting view or picture that conveys feelings.

✓ I prefer views in urban areas because there are not only scenery and people, which you can use to construct an interesting image that conveys feeling.

Problems: 'sceneries' is nonstandard; use 'scenery' or 'scenes'. The relative clause 'which you can use them' is ungrammatical because 'which' already refers to the noun and 'them' is redundant; remove 'them'. 'a interesting' should be 'an interesting' due to vowel sound. 'picture that conveys feelings' is acceptable but 'image that conveys feeling' is more concise. Suggestions: remove redundant pronouns, use correct article 'an', and choose standard nouns ('scenery' or 'scenes').

× I prefer the scenery in my home country because I have special emotion and cultural understanding towards it.

✓ I prefer the scenery in my home country because I have a special emotional and cultural understanding of it.

Problems: 'special emotion' is awkward; use 'a special emotional understanding' or 'strong emotional attachment'. 'Cultural understanding towards it' is incorrect preposition use; say 'understanding of it'. Add article 'a' before 'special'. Suggestions: use collocations 'emotional attachment' or 'emotional connection', and use 'understanding of' rather than 'towards'.

× For example, whenever I go to a historical site, I will recall the magnificent history that my country had.

✓ For example, whenever I go to a historical site, I recall the magnificent history of my country.

The original mixes future 'will recall' with a habitual present context signaled by 'whenever I go'; use the simple present 'recall' for habitual actions. Also 'history that my country had' is awkward; use 'the history of my country'. Suggestions: match tense to habitual context and use natural possessive phrasing 'the history of my country'.