Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and grammatical. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific reasons with linking words. Avoid redundancy and correct tense/grammar (e.g., “preserve my memories,” “when I’m bored or lonely,” “I can look at them and remember being there,” “show them to people close to me”).

例: Yes, I enjoy photographing different views. I take photos to preserve memories and to lift my mood when I feel bored or lonely. For example, looking at pictures of a beach I visited helps me relive the experience, and I often share them with close friends and family.

提案: Give a direct preference sentence, then support it with two clear and specific reasons using linking words (e.g., “because,” “so”). Correct comparative and adjective usage (e.g., “rural areas are calmer and greener than urban areas”). Keep it to 2–3 sentences.

例: I prefer views in rural areas because they are calmer and greener than urban places. Because I feel closer to nature there, I find walking through fields and forests very relaxing and refreshing.

提案: Provide a clear topic sentence stating your view, then give specific criteria that determine your preference (e.g., novelty, beauty, uniqueness). Use linking words like “however” or “instead” to connect ideas and correct phrases (e.g., “It doesn’t depend on whether a view is in my country or abroad”).

例: It doesn’t matter to me whether a view is in my country or abroad; I prefer places that are new and beautiful. For instance, I’m more drawn to unusual landscapes or historic towns because their uniqueness makes me feel peaceful and curious.

× Also I think taking pictures preserve my memories and why I'm bored and feel lonely or become sad.

✓ Also I think taking pictures preserves my memories and helps when I'm bored, feeling lonely, or sad.

Subject-verb agreement with gerund: 'taking pictures' is a singular gerund phrase and requires singular verb 'preserves' (Grammar Problem Type ID 1 and 27). Additionally, sentence needed a verb to show function: use 'helps' + gerund clause 'when I'm bored, feeling lonely, or sad' to express purpose; this corrects sentence structure and parallelism.

× I can see the pictures and think I was there and so who could and also I could able to see them to my nearest one.

✓ I can look at the pictures and imagine I was there; I can also share them with my loved ones.

Original sentence is ungrammatical and unclear (Grammar Problem Type ID 26). 'Think I was there' is better as 'imagine I was there'. 'So who could' is incomplete and removed. 'I could able to see them to my nearest one' incorrectly uses 'could able' and wrong preposition; corrected to 'share them with my loved ones' for clarity and correct verb and preposition use (fixes modal/ability and preposition errors).

× Well, I like viewing some rural areas because rural areas are much calm greenery than urban areas and they make me feel peace and heavenly like I am much closer to nature and it makes me feel better than ever and urban areas sometimes.

✓ Well, I prefer rural areas because they are much calmer and greener than urban areas; they make me feel peaceful and closer to nature, which makes me feel better than urban areas sometimes do.

Several adjective/adverb and comparative errors (Grammar Problem Type ID 13 and 25). 'Calm' should be comparative adjective 'calmer'; 'greenery' should be adjective 'greener'. 'Make me feel peace' should be 'make me feel peaceful.' Added 'which' to connect clauses and 'do' to complete comparison. This improves adjective forms, word order, and comparison clarity.

× Well, I don't think it is depending on my country or other countries.

✓ Well, I don't think it depends on whether the views are in my country or in other countries.

Incorrect verb and pronoun structure (Grammar Problem Type ID 12 and 6). Use 'depends on' rather than 'is depending on' for simple present; rephrase to 'whether the views are in my country or in other countries' to be grammatically correct and clear.

× I like to explore more some or something newer than other.

✓ I like to explore new places or things rather than ones I already know.

Original is ungrammatical and unclear (Grammar Problem Type ID 26). Rephrased to express preference for new places or things, using correct determiners and comparatives.

× In fact, if the views it is in my countries or others, I don't bother about this.

✓ In fact, whether the views are in my country or elsewhere, I don't mind.

Incorrect use of 'it is' and plural 'countries' (Grammar Problem Type ID 3 and 1). Use 'whether' and correct verb 'are' for 'views' and singular 'country' for the speaker's country; 'I don't mind' is a natural phrasing.

× If it is new or exceptional, beautiful, it gives me more peace.

✓ If a view is new, exceptional, or beautiful, it gives me more peace.

Word order and punctuation issues (Grammar Problem Type ID 13). Use parallel adjectives separated by commas and a clear subject 'a view' to make the conditional clause grammatical and natural.