School— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to reduce hesitation and filler words such as 'uh' and 'well' to make your answer sound more natural and fluent. Also, clarify the grade levels more clearly and avoid ambiguous expressions like 'from 1:00 to 10:00'. Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly.

例: I studied at Little Star School in my hometown, Chamkampalya. It is a primary school that offers education from grade 1 to grade 10. Recently, the school expanded to include higher secondary classes, grades 11 and 12, which shows significant development in recent years.

提案: Avoid repetition and hesitations to improve fluency. Use more precise vocabulary and linking words to connect your ideas. For example, instead of repeating 'some of my life's best memory', say it once clearly. Also, explain why you liked teamwork to add more detail.

例: Yes, I love my school because it gave me some of the best memories of my life. I remember how we used to laugh a lot and always worked well in teams, which helped us learn cooperation and friendship.

提案: Reduce filler words and improve sentence structure for clarity. Use linking words like 'because' or 'moreover' to connect your points logically. Also, be consistent with verb tenses and plural forms.

例: Yes, I think my school is a very good place to study because it is one of the best schools in my town. Moreover, it offers both primary and higher education. The teachers are passionate about teaching, and the principal provides guidance to both students and staff.

提案: Be careful with word choice and grammar; for example, 'in discipline' should be 'disciplined', and 'people swear hardworking' is unclear. Use precise vocabulary and correct grammar to express your ideas clearly. Also, use linking words to connect your points.

例: The environment at my school was very disciplined, and everyone was hardworking. Additionally, seniors and juniors cooperated well with each other. The teachers were dedicated and always tried to improve each student's skills.

提案: Avoid grammatical errors and unclear phrases such as 'his interest in study' and 'fundaments of fundamental thing'. Use clear and precise language. Also, use linking words to connect your ideas logically.

例: I believe that having an interest in studying is very important because education is the foundation for a successful career. Therefore, every student should focus on their studies, as it will lead to a bright future in the long run.

× I studied in Little Star School, which is located in my hometown, Chamkampalya.

✓ I study in Little Star School, which is located in my hometown, Chamkampalya.

The question 'Where is your school?' asks about the current location and status, so the present tense 'study' is appropriate instead of the past tense 'studied'.

× Uh, it's uh, primary school, which is, uh, first, uh, student from 1:00 to 10:00.

✓ Uh, it's a primary school, which has students from grades 1 to 10.

The sentence lacks the indefinite article 'a' before 'primary school'. Also, 'first student from 1:00 to 10:00' is unclear and incorrect; it should specify grades or classes, and '1:00 to 10:00' seems to be a misstatement. Correcting to 'students from grades 1 to 10' clarifies meaning.

× And, uh, recently they, uh, developed, uh, higher education like, uh, 11th and 12th and, uh, I think it developed a lot in recent years.

✓ And, uh, recently they have developed higher education like 11th and 12th grades, and I think it has developed a lot in recent years.

The present perfect tense 'have developed' is appropriate to indicate recent actions with relevance to the present, rather than simple past 'developed'.

× I think the best memories of my life were in my schools.

✓ I think the best memories of my life were in my school.

The singular 'school' is appropriate here because the student refers to one school attended, not multiple schools.

× I still remember how we used to laugh and also we always work in teamwork.

✓ I still remember how we used to laugh and also we always worked in teamwork.

The phrase 'used to' indicates past habits, so the verb following should be in past tense 'worked' instead of present tense 'work'.

× So I think some of my some of my life's best memory is uh, from school days.

✓ So I think some of my life's best memories are from school days.

'Some' implies plural, so 'memories' should be plural and the verb should agree in plural form 'are' instead of singular 'is'.

× Uh, it was one of the best school in my town.

✓ Uh, it was one of the best schools in my town.

The phrase 'one of the best' requires the plural noun 'schools'.

× And also the teachers were very, uh, passionate about uh, teaching.

✓ And also the teachers are very passionate about teaching.

Since the student is talking about the current state of the school, present tense 'are' is appropriate instead of past tense 'were'.

× And uh, the principal also guided students and as well as teachers.

✓ And uh, the principal also guides students as well as teachers.

Present tense 'guides' fits better to describe ongoing actions rather than past tense 'guided'.

× Well, the environment in my school was very in discipline and people swear hardworking.

✓ Well, the environment in my school was very disciplined and people were hardworking.

'In discipline' is incorrect; the correct adjective is 'disciplined'. Also, 'people swear hardworking' is incorrect; it should be 'people were hardworking'.

× Also the seniors and juniors both were cooperative to each other.

✓ Also the seniors and juniors were both cooperative with each other.

The phrase 'cooperative to each other' is incorrect; the correct preposition is 'with'. Also, 'both' should be placed after the subject for clarity.

× Teachers were also hardworking and they also tried to improve every children's skills.

✓ Teachers were also hardworking and they also tried to improve every child's skills.

'Every' is followed by a singular noun, so 'children's' should be 'child's'.

× Well, I think it is very important, uh, his interest in study because study is the fundaments of fundamental thing for our, uh, best career.

✓ Well, I think it is very important to have interest in study because study is the foundation for our best career.

'His interest' is incorrect here; the sentence should use a general expression like 'to have interest'. Also, 'fundaments of fundamental thing' is incorrect; 'foundation' is the correct term.

× And I think it is important for every student to focus on study because in the long run it will help for the bright future.

✓ And I think it is important for every student to focus on study because in the long run it will help to have a bright future.

The phrase 'help for the bright future' is incorrect; it should be 'help to have a bright future' or 'help achieve a bright future'.