School— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be natural and grammatically correct. Start with a clear topic sentence directly answering the question, e.g. “My school is in Bryansk.” Correct grammar (subject-verb agreement, possessives) and avoid unnecessary pronoun errors. Add one specific supporting detail using a linking word to be coherent.

例: My school is in Bryansk, a city in western Russia. It is known for its forests and rich history, so the area around my school is quite green and peaceful.

提案: Keep the answer concise and correct tenses and articles. Begin with a direct topic sentence and then give a clear reason. Use a linking word (because/so) and correct grammar for past events and plural nouns.

例: Yes, I do. I like my school because when my family moved from Armenia to Russia, we had little money and it was the only school that accepted both me and my brother.

提案: Answer directly and correct fragmented phrases. Use clear conditional structure and improve fluency with linking words (however, if). Be specific about what aspects are good or not (teachers, resources, exam preparation).

例: It depends on your goals. If you aim for admission to the top universities, this school might not be the best choice because it has limited exam preparation resources. However, if you prefer a calm environment with less stress, this school could suit you well.

提案: Use correct tense and clear sequence words. Start with a topic sentence describing current environment, then briefly explain past changes using linking words (previously, now, after). Correct collocations (reconstructed/renovated, became).

例: The school environment is pleasant now. Previously the buildings were old, but they were fully renovated while I was a student, so now the classrooms and corridors are bright and comfortable.

提案: Answer directly and use natural phrasing with plural nouns and modal verbs. Provide a specific reason and an example to illustrate the point. Use linking words (because, for example, therefore).

例: Interest in study is very important because when students are motivated they learn more effectively. For example, I study longer and remember information better when I enjoy the topic.

× My city locates in Bryansk.

✓ My city is located in Bryansk.

Use of 'locates' is incorrect; 'locate' is usually used in passive as 'is located' for places. Change verb form to passive present ('is located') to describe location correctly.

× It's a city in western Russia that known for his forests and history.

✓ It's a city in western Russia that is known for its forests and history.

Missing auxiliary 'is' for the relative clause and incorrect pronoun 'his' for a city. Use 'is known' and the possessive pronoun 'its' for things/places.

× Yes I do. The main reason why I like my school is because when my family and I went from Armenia to Russia we are short in money and it's the only school that accept both me and my brother.

✓ Yes, I do. The main reason I like my school is that when my family and I came from Armenia to Russia we were short of money and it was the only school that accepted both me and my brother.

Multiple issues: 'because' after 'is' is redundant (use 'is that'); past action requires past tense 'came' and 'were'; idiom is 'short of money'; agreement and tense require 'it was the only school that accepted' (past tense) rather than 'accept'.

× It depends on your goals. For example if you I'm for the best universities in our country, my school is not the best decision for you.

✓ It depends on your goals. For example, if you are aiming for the best universities in our country, my school is not the best choice for you.

Original sentence has missing words and awkward phrasing: 'if you I'm' is incorrect. Use 'if you are aiming for' and 'choice' rather than 'decision' to sound natural. Add comma after introductory phrase.

× But if you like calm environment and less of stress, it's your choice.

✓ But if you prefer a calm environment and less stress, it's your choice.

Use 'prefer' for preference, include an article 'a' before 'calm environment', and 'less stress' (not 'less of stress').

× When I was studying the environment was old, but when I become a student the environment is rebuilt fully and now it's really nice school.

✓ When I was studying, the building was old, but when it was rebuilt while I was a student, it became a fully renovated and now it's a really nice school.

Multiple tense and word choice issues: 'environment' is wrong for 'building' or 'school'; 'become a student' wrong tense; 'is rebuilt fully' should be past passive 'was rebuilt' and 'became fully renovated' to show completed action. Add articles 'a' and punctuation.

× The interest is so important in study because when student is motivated he can reach more.

✓ Interest is very important in studying because when a student is motivated, he can achieve more.

Use 'Interest' without 'the' for general statements, 'important in studying' (gerund) or 'important to study'; include article 'a student', and 'achieve' is more natural than 'reach' in this context; add commas for clarity.