Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and organize the answer: start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Also correct small grammar issues (e.g., "the way to use that bike" → "how to ride it"). Keep it to fewer than five sentences and avoid repetition.

例: Yes, I did. My father bought me a small bike when I was ten, and he taught me how to ride it, which made me very happy. Because he practiced with me every weekend, I learned quickly and enjoyed spending time with him.

提案: Make your opinion clear, use correct grammar and provide specific supporting reasons with linking words. Avoid vague phrases and long, confusing clauses. For example, say whether bikes are popular overall or only in certain areas, then give 1–2 concise reasons (traffic, public transport, culture).

例: Not very much. In big cities like Jakarta, most people prefer motorbikes or cars because of long distances and heavy traffic. Moreover, convenient public transport and the fast pace of city life make bicycles less common for daily commuting.

× When I was 10 years old my father bought me a little bike and then also he taught me the way to use that bike and I was really happy doing that with my father.

✓ When I was 10 years old, my father bought me a little bike and then he taught me how to use it, and I was really happy doing that with him.

Multiple issues mainly with past tense sequence and awkward phrasing. Use consistent past tense verbs (bought, taught, was). Replace 'the way to use that bike' with 'how to use it' for natural English. Remove redundant 'also' and change 'my father' to 'him' in the second clause to avoid repetition. Add comma after introductory time phrase.

× I don't think so because most of people who are working in the urban area, especially in Jakarta, they're always using the vehicle who help others to move into one place, into the other place with the short time so.

✓ I don't think so because most people who work in urban areas, especially in Jakarta, always use vehicles that help people move from one place to another quickly.

Several grammar problems: 'most of people' should be 'most people' (article/quantifier), 'are working' unnecessary progressive; use simple present 'work' for habitual actions. 'the urban area' should be plural or 'urban areas'. Pronoun and relative clause errors: 'they're always using the vehicle who help others' is wrong: use 'always use vehicles that help people' — 'vehicles' (plural) and 'that' for things. 'move into one place, into the other place with the short time so' is ungrammatical; correct to 'move from one place to another quickly'. This fixes subject-verb agreement and improves clarity.