Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and structured: start with a clear topic sentence, give one or two specific details, and avoid filler words and repetitions. Use linking words (for example, “when,” “because,” “so”) correctly to make the story coherent. Try to finish within 2–4 sentences and include a brief reflection or result (e.g., how you felt or what you learned).

例: Yes — I did. My father bought me a four‑wheeled training bike when I was under five, and I started learning to cycle then. At first it was hard to control, but after practicing I became more confident and could ride on my own.

提案: Organize your response: give a clear opinion, then two specific reasons with linking words (for example, “first,” “also,” “because”), and finish with a short conclusion. Reduce pauses and filler words. Use precise vocabulary (commute, hobby, environment, short distances) and avoid vague phrases like “maybe it’s others.”

例: Yes, bikes are fairly popular in Thailand. First, many people cycle as a hobby and for exercise. Also, others use bicycles for short commutes because they are convenient and help reduce reliance on cars and traffic congestion.

× Yes, I did when I was a child uh, my father bought me a four wheeled bike because, uh yes, MMM it's around when I was uh under five years old, I started biking uh and cycling, So it was difficult for me to control at uh, at the first time, So I.

✓ Yes, I did. When I was a child, my father bought me a four-wheeled bike. I started biking when I was under five years old, and it was difficult for me to control it at first.

The original sentence mixes tenses and run-on clauses. Use simple past consistently for past events (did, bought, started, was). Separate into sentences to improve clarity. Correct compound adjective 'four-wheeled' and idiomatic expression 'at first'. Add the object 'it' after 'control'. Suggestion: Keep past tense verbs together and break long utterances into shorter sentences.

× Yes, my, uh, in my 20s in Thailand is quite popular.

✓ Yes, in my twenties in Thailand bicycles are quite popular.

The original has subject-verb agreement and phrasing issues: 'in my 20s in Thailand is quite popular' lacks a clear subject. Use 'bicycles' as the subject and plural verb 'are'. Also 'twenties' is the idiomatic form. Suggestion: identify the subject (bicycles) and ensure verb agrees in number.

× Bicycling and cycling is quite popular because, uh, some people do it as a hobby.

✓ Bicycling and cycling are quite popular because some people do them as hobbies.

'Bicycling and cycling' is plural so use 'are'. Also when referring back to plural activities use 'them' and pluralize 'hobby' to 'hobbies' or rephrase to singular. Suggestion: match number across subjects and pronouns and pluralize nouns appropriately.

× Uh, maybe it's others, uh, use it because they want to reduce, uh, relying on highways vehicles in, uh, traveling in or commuting in nearby place.

✓ Maybe others use bicycles because they want to reduce relying on highway vehicles when traveling or commuting to nearby places.

The original uses 'it's others' incorrectly; 'others' should be the subject. 'Relying on highways vehicles' should be 'relying on highway vehicles'. Prepositional phrases 'traveling in or commuting in nearby place' are ungrammatical; use 'when traveling or commuting to nearby places'. Suggestion: choose correct subject pronoun, fix noun phrases ('highway vehicles'), and use proper prepositions and plural nouns for 'places'.

× So it is quite convenient for.

✓ So it is quite convenient for them.

The sentence is incomplete; 'for' needs an object (for them/for short trips/for commuting). Add the appropriate object 'them' or more specific noun. Suggestion: always complete prepositional phrases with a clear object.