Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Cải thiện: Hạn chế tiếng ậm ừ và sửa ngữ pháp nhỏ; cấu trúc câu rõ ràng hơn bằng cách bắt đầu với câu chủ đề, rồi bổ sung chi tiết cụ thể hơn (ví dụ: tuổi khi có xe, hoạt động cụ thể cùng bạn bè, cảm xúc). Dùng liên từ phù hợp để làm mạch văn mượt mà hơn và tránh lặp từ. Ví dụ nêu kỷ niệm cụ thể sẽ tăng tính thuyết phục.

例: Yes, I did. My parents bought me a bicycle when I was eight, and every weekend I rode it to the local park with two close friends. We would race along the river path and stop for ice cream afterwards, which made those afternoons very special. Because of those experiences, I felt free and happy whenever I cycled around.

提案: Cải thiện: Tránh lặp từ và tiếng ngập ngừng, sửa ngữ pháp (số ít/ số nhiều, danh từ đếm được), và trình bày ý mạch lạc: đưa câu chủ đề ngắn gọn rồi nêu lý do cụ thể kèm ví dụ. Sử dụng vài từ liên kết (for example, because, especially) để làm rõ ý. Thêm dữ kiện cụ thể (ví dụ: những loại chuyến đi phù hợp với xe đạp) giúp câu trả lời thuyết phục hơn.

例: Yes, I think bicycles are very popular in my country because they are cheap, convenient and ideal for short trips. For example, many people use bikes to commute to nearby markets or schools, especially in crowded city centres where traffic is heavy. As a result, cycling is a common and practical choice for daily travel.

× My parents bought me a bicycle when I was a child and on the weekend I often rode it to the park with my friends.

✓ My parents bought me a bicycle when I was a child and on weekends I often rode it to the park with my friends.

The phrase 'on the weekend' is acceptable in some dialects but in general narrative about habitual past actions, 'on weekends' (plural) is more idiomatic to indicate repeated actions. Use plural to show recurring events in the past. Suggestion: Use 'on weekends' for habitual actions (e.g., 'On weekends I often rode...').

× Those are the memories that are still cherish because I feel free and happy when cycling around.

✓ Those are the memories that I still cherish because I felt free and happy when cycling around.

The original sentence has two problems: 'are still cherish' mixes present passive structure with base verb; it should be active past ('I still cherish' or 'I still cherished'). Because the context is past memories, use past tense 'felt' to match time reference. Also include subject 'I' before 'still cherish'. Suggestion: Use consistent tense and correct verb form: either 'I still cherish' (present) or 'I still cherished'/'I felt' (past context).

× Oh yes, I think bike are popular in my countries because it's very, uh, convenient and, umm, it's, it's the transport, uh, it is a forms of transport.

✓ Oh yes, I think bikes are popular in my country because they are very convenient and they are a common form of transport.

Multiple errors: 'bike are' mixes singular/plural — use 'bikes are'. 'my countries' should be singular 'my country' unless speaker means multiple countries. 'it's very' followed by plural subject needs 'they are'. 'it is a forms' mixes singular 'is' with plural 'forms' — use 'a form'. Suggestion: Ensure number agreement between subject and verb and match singular/plural consistently (bikes/they; country; a form).

× Uh, that's people, umm, want to go when, uh, have a short, uh, journey.

✓ Those are the people who want to travel when they have a short journey.

The original is ungrammatical and missing relative pronoun and subjects. 'That's people' should be 'Those are the people' or 'People who'. Also need 'who' to introduce the relative clause and 'they have' to provide the subject of 'have a short journey'. Suggestion: Use a relative clause with 'who' and include the appropriate subject pronoun ('they') to make the sentence grammatically complete.