Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Focus on clear, direct responses: start with a concise topic sentence answering the question, then add 1–2 specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid fillers (uh, umm), repeated words, and unclear phrases. Also correct basic grammar (use past tense for childhood) and vocabulary (e.g., 'ride' not 'write').

例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. My dad bought me a small black bike when I was about six, and I learned to ride it in our backyard. Because he practiced with me every weekend, I became confident riding on quiet streets.

提案: Answer directly, then give clear reasons with specific examples. Reduce hesitations and correct word choice (e.g., 'pavement for riding' or 'bike lanes'). Use linking words like 'because' and 'however' to connect ideas and provide 2–3 concise sentences max.

例: Not really. In large Thai cities bicycles are less common because roads are crowded and there are few dedicated bike lanes. However, in smaller towns and rural areas people still use bikes for short trips and errands.

× Yes, I have uh when I was a kid, umm my dad bought me a small 1A black one yeah umm but actually I, I can't uh write yeah so umm yeah so he he, he touched me to write and yours This was the first time I.

✓ Yes, I had a small black bike when I was a kid. My dad bought it for me. I couldn't ride it well at first, so he helped me learn to ride. That was the first time I rode a bike.

This original sentence mixes present tense 'have' with the past time reference 'when I was a kid' and contains many fragments and unclear verbs ('can't write', 'touched me to write', 'yours'). Use past tense for actions in childhood: 'had', 'bought', 'couldn't ride', 'helped me learn', 'rode'. Also split into clearer sentences and replace incorrect verbs ('write' -> 'ride', 'touched me to write' -> 'helped me learn to ride') to match intended meaning. Suggestion: keep past tense consistently for past events and use clear verbs and sentence boundaries.

× Oh, absolutely not because yeah umm originally from Thailand.

✓ Oh, absolutely not, because I am originally from Thailand.

The fragment lacks the present-tense copular verb 'am' for a present state. When stating origin in present time, use 'I am originally from...'. Ensure subject and verb are present and explicit.

× So it's you know, it's the big cities and crowded chaotic and yeah, I I would say tell you the truth, Umm, my country, we we don't have a nice pavement for rye. OK, so it's.

✓ The big cities are crowded and chaotic. To tell you the truth, in my country we don't have nice pavements for riding bikes.

Original contains broken structure, repeated words, and incorrect word choices ('pavement for rye' should be 'pavements for riding bikes'). Rearrange to subject-verb order: 'The big cities are crowded and chaotic.' Use 'To tell you the truth' as a linking phrase, then a clear clause with subject and verb: 'we don't have nice pavements for riding bikes.' Also use plural 'pavements' and the gerund phrase 'riding bikes' for purpose.