Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Clarify meaning, correct grammar and word choice, and make the response concise and coherent. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Fix tense and vocabulary errors (e.g., 'when I was about seven', 'birthday present', 'learn to ride', 'practiced'), and avoid unrelated or unclear phrases like 'could cry comfortably.'

例: Yes — I had my first bike when I was about seven. My father gave it to me as a birthday present, and I was really excited. I practiced every day for a few weeks until I could ride it confidently.

提案: Make a direct opinion sentence, then support it with clear, specific reasons using correct grammar and linking words. Correct common errors: use present simple ('I live'), use correct nouns ('motorbikes' or 'motorcycles'), and clearer adjectives ('practical', 'better for heavy traffic'). Avoid vague or incorrect phrases like 'perfect motor buys' and 'protected in chronic traffic.'

例: No, I don't think bicycles are very popular in Vietnam. Most people prefer motorbikes because they are more practical in heavy traffic, easier to park, and much cheaper than cars.

× Oh yes, I had my first bike when I worked about 7.

✓ Oh yes, I had my first bike when I was about 7.

The verb 'worked' is incorrect here; the speaker means age. Use the past continuous or past simple of 'be' for age: 'was about 7'. Replace 'worked' with 'was' to indicate past state.

× My father gave it to me as a birthday person and I remember feeling very excited too write it.

✓ My father gave it to me as a birthday present and I remember feeling very excited to ride it.

'Birthday person' is incorrect word choice; the correct noun is 'present'. 'Too write' is wrong: 'too' should be 'to' (infinitive marker) and 'write' should be 'ride' to match the context of riding a bike. This is a sentence structure and word choice error; replace words to make sense.

× I practice every day until I could cry comfortably.

✓ I practiced every day until I could ride comfortably.

The original mixes present 'practice' with past context. Use past simple 'practiced' to match 'could'. 'Cry' is a wrong word choice for 'ride'. Correct verb form and word choice: 'practiced' and 'ride'.

× Oh I don't think bicycles are very popular in my country.

✓ Oh, I don't think bicycles are very popular in my country.

Missing comma after introductory 'Oh'. Grammatically sentence is fine otherwise; add comma for correct punctuation and natural pause.

× I living in Vietnam where many people perfect motor buys because they are more pros, protected in chronic traffic, easy to park and much cheaper than car.

✓ I live in Vietnam where many people prefer motorbikes because they are more practical, safer in heavy traffic, easy to park and much cheaper than cars.

Multiple errors: 'I living' should be 'I live' (present simple). 'Perfect motor buys' is incorrect word choices; use 'prefer motorbikes'. 'Pros' vague; use 'practical'. 'Protected in chronic traffic' is unnatural; use 'safer in heavy traffic'. 'Motor buys' should be 'motorbikes' and 'than car' needs plural 'cars'. These are verb form, word choice and noun number errors; correct to natural phrasing.