Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the answer more concise, correct grammar, and follow a clear structure: state the main point, then add one or two specific supporting details. Use correct tense and article usage, and avoid repetition. Aim for 2–3 sentences and include a linking word if adding details (for example, "and" or "because").

例: Yes. My parents bought me a pink bicycle when I turned five, which was my favorite color. I remember being very proud of it because I learned to ride it quickly and used it to explore my neighborhood.

提案: Clarify the main idea, correct grammar, and add a specific reason or example. Start with a clear topic sentence, then use a linking word (e.g., "however", "because") and give one concrete reason or comparison. Keep it to 2–3 sentences and avoid awkward phrasing like "runs without the physical energy."

例: They were more popular about ten years ago; however, nowadays motorbikes and cars are more common. This is mainly because motorbikes are faster and more convenient for commuting in busy cities.

× When I was a kid, around four or five years old, my parents gifted me a bicycle which was pink color and that was my favorite color they gifted me when I turned 5, I think in my birthday.

✓ When I was a kid, around four or five years old, my parents gifted me a bicycle that was pink, and pink was my favorite color; they gave it to me when I turned five, I think on my birthday.

Problems: incorrect adjective phrase 'pink color' (use 'pink' as adjective) and awkward sentence structure. Also 'gifted me ... they gifted me' repeats and 'in my birthday' uses wrong preposition. Suggestions: use the adjective 'pink' directly ('a pink bicycle'), avoid repetition by combining ideas with conjunctions or relative clauses, and use the correct preposition 'on' with 'birthday'. Use consistent number format ('five') in formal sentences.

× It used to be popular around 10 years ago, but in comparison to now they are not popular as quite as motorbikes and some vehicles that runs without the physical energy.

✓ Bicycles used to be popular around ten years ago, but compared with now they are not as popular as motorbikes and some vehicles that run without physical effort.

Problems: tense and subject clarity ('It used to be' is vague; use 'Bicycles used to be'), incorrect comparative structure ('not popular as quite as' is wrong), subject-verb agreement ('vehicles that runs' -> 'vehicles that run'), and awkward phrase 'without the physical energy' (use 'without physical effort'). Suggestions: specify the subject, use correct comparative form 'not as popular as', ensure verb agrees with plural subject, and choose natural collocations like 'physical effort'.