Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Perbaiki tata bahasa dan kejernihan ide. Jawaban siswa mengandung kesalahan tense dan frasa yang membingungkan (mis. "when I have a child", "back in my old days"). Buatlah kalimat topik langsung di awal, lalu tambahkan 1–2 kalimat dukungan yang spesifik dan gunakan kata penghubung sederhana (mis. "because", "so", "and"). Jaga panjang jawaban maksimal 4–5 kalimat. Contoh fokus perbaikan: gunakan past tense konsisten untuk pengalaman masa kecil, sebutkan detail spesifik (berapa sering, dengan siapa, rute atau kegiatan).

例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. I rode it almost every afternoon with my friends around our neighborhood because it was the easiest way to get to the park. We often practiced tricks near a small hill, so I became quite confident cycling. Those rides are one of my favorite childhood memories.

提案: Jawaban tidak menjawab pertanyaan secara langsung dan mengandung ungkapan yang tidak jelas atau salah konteks (mis. "I have a crush"). Untuk pertanyaan tentang popularitas, mulai dengan pernyataan umum tentang tren, lalu berikan alasan atau contoh spesifik (mis. statistik sederhana, alasan kemudahan transportasi, atau area di mana sepeda populer). Jika ingin menyatakan preferensi pribadi (mis. takut naik sepeda), jelaskan dengan jelas bahwa itu adalah pandangan pribadi dan berikan alasan singkat. Gunakan kalimat yang koheren dan hindari frasa yang ambigu.

例: Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country, especially in cities where traffic is heavy and short trips are common. Many people use bicycles for commuting to work or school because they are cheap and convenient. Personally, I don't ride much anymore because I had a bad accident years ago, so I prefer public transport.

× I used to have a bike when I have a child and back in my old days we used to bike every afternoon and just circling around my neighborhood and it was a great time for me.

✓ I used to have a bike when I was a child, and back in my old days we used to ride every afternoon, just circling around my neighborhood. It was a great time for me.

Multiple tense and verb choice errors: 'when I have a child' should be past 'when I was a child' because the speaker refers to the past (used to). 'We used to bike' is understandable but 'ride' is more natural collocation for bicycles. 'and just circling' lacks a proper verb form; use a full clause 'just circling around my neighborhood' or revise to 'just circled' but keeping the progressive idea use 'just circling' as part of a participial phrase attached to 'we used to ride'. Also split into two sentences to improve clarity. Suggestion: maintain past tense consistently when describing past habitual actions and choose natural verb collocations.

× Yes, but I have a crush and I have a trauma and I don't want to use the bike anymore.

✓ Yes, but I have a crush and I have trauma, so I don't want to ride a bike anymore.

Awkward word choices and articles: 'have a trauma' is non-native; say 'have trauma' or 'have a traumatic experience' depending on meaning. 'Use the bike' is better as 'ride a bike' for natural English. Also connect clauses with 'so' for cause and effect. Suggestion: use natural collocations ('ride a bike', 'have trauma' or 'experienced trauma') and appropriate connectors to show reason.