Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Pronunciation and grammar: correct the pronunciation error (“buy” → “bike”) and use the correct verb form. Begin with a clear topic sentence and give 1–2 brief supporting details. Keep it natural and concise (max 5 sentences). For example, say you didn’t have one and why or mention an alternative you used.

例: No, I didn’t have a bike when I was a child. My family couldn’t afford one, so I usually walked or took the bus to school. I regret not learning to ride earlier because many of my friends enjoyed cycling.

提案: Clarity and coherence: remove repeated words and organize ideas with linking words. Start with a direct opinion, then give specific reasons and a brief personal comment. Use appropriate vocabulary (popular, common, practical) and correct grammar (e.g., “I don’t really” → “I don’t”). Keep to 2–4 sentences and use linking words like “because” or “however.”

例: Yes, I think bikes are very popular in my country because many people use them for short journeys and exercise. For example, commuters often cycle to work to avoid traffic, and students ride to school. However, I don’t know how to ride a bike yet, so I plan to learn soon so I can enjoy cycling too.

× I didn't have a buy when I was a child.

✓ I didn't have a bike when I was a child.

The word 'buy' is a verb meaning 'to purchase', not the noun 'bike'. This is a vocabulary error rather than grammatical number, but it produces a nonsensical sentence. Replace 'buy' with the correct noun 'bike' to match the question about having a bike in childhood.

× I think bikes are puppy are popular in my country since a lot of people have one while I don't really.

✓ I think bikes are popular in my country since a lot of people have them, but I don't really have one.

The word 'puppy' is incorrect here; it is an animal and does not fit the context. Also, 'a lot of people have one' should use the pronoun 'them' to refer back to 'bikes' (plural), and the latter clause needs a clearer verb phrase: 'but I don't really have one.' This corrects pronoun agreement and sentence structure.

× I don't know how to ride a bike but this is one thing that I really want to learn which is to ride a bike.

✓ I don't know how to ride a bike, but this is one thing I really want to learn: how to ride a bike.

The original sentence is wordy and repeats 'to ride a bike.' Use a concise structure and a noun clause 'how to ride a bike' after 'learn.' The punctuation and word order are improved to make the sentence natural and grammatically correct.

× It comes to the usage of bike I think.

✓ When it comes to using a bike, I think it's convenient and healthy.

The phrase 'It comes to the usage of bike I think' is ungrammatical and awkward. The standard expression is 'When it comes to' + gerund ('using a bike'). Also add a complete opinion to finish the sentence; otherwise it remains a fragment. This fixes sentence structure and preposition/gerund use.