Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: The answer does not respond to the question. You should give a clear topic sentence directly answering whether you had a bike as a child, then add one or two specific details (when you got it, who bought it, how often you used it). Keep it natural, concise (max 5 sentences), and use linking words like “yes,” “but,” “because” or “however.”

例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. My parents bought it for me when I was seven, and I rode it to school and around the neighborhood almost every day. It was a small red bicycle with a basket, which made it easy to carry my books. Because I rode so often, I became confident cycling on busy streets.

提案: Again, the answer is off-topic and fails to address whether bikes are popular. Start with a direct opinion (Yes/No/Somewhat), then support it with specific reasons and an example. Use linking words such as “because,” “for example,” or “however” to connect ideas. Keep responses focused and within 3–4 sentences for clarity and fluency.

例: Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country, especially in smaller towns and cities. For example, many people use bicycles for short trips to the market or school because they are inexpensive and easy to park. However, in big cities motorbikes and cars are more common due to longer distances and traffic.

× 1st right I am giving you introduction for of me.

✓ First, I will give you an introduction about myself.

Original sentence has incorrect word order, extra words and wrong prepositions. Use 'First' to indicate sequence, 'I will give' for intention, and 'an introduction about myself' is the correct phrase. Suggestion: plan sentence before speaking, use simple clause order (adverb + subject + verb + object).

× I am an ethical I am 12 year old.

✓ I am an ethical person and I am 12 years old.

The fragment 'I am an ethical' is incomplete because 'ethical' is an adjective requiring a noun (person). Also '12 year old' needs plural 'years' and 'old'. Suggestion: include the noun after the adjective and use 'years old' to express age.

× I come from a sublime hometown monarch which is located in district Punjab city.

✓ I come from a beautiful hometown called Monarch, which is located in Punjab district.

Original uses incorrect word order and prepositions: 'in district Punjab city' is incorrect. Use 'called' to name a place, and 'located in Punjab district' or 'in the Punjab region'. Also 'sublime' is uncommon for hometown; 'beautiful' is clearer. Suggestion: use 'located in' + place and proper noun order.

× My name is Nitika, I am 12. My educational background is.

✓ My name is Nitika and I am 12. About my educational background, I recently completed seventh grade and now study in eighth grade at Regal International School.

'My educational background is.' is an incomplete sentence. Combine clauses with conjunctions and provide complete information. Also 'seventh student' is incorrect; use 'seventh grade' and 'currently in eighth grade' for clarity. Suggestion: avoid fragments; ensure each sentence has subject and verb.

× If we talk about my educational background, I have recently recently passed my seventh student and I am currently in 8th at Regal International School.

✓ If we talk about my educational background, I recently passed the seventh grade and I am currently in the eighth grade at Regal International School.

Use simple past 'recently passed' rather than present perfect in this context is acceptable but duplicate 'recently' removed; 'seventh student' should be 'seventh grade' and use ordinal 'eighth grade'. Also include 'the' before grade. Suggestion: use correct school grade terms and avoid repeating words.

× When it comes to my interests or hobbies, I am a fond of playing football, watching television and listening music.

✓ When it comes to my interests or hobbies, I am fond of playing football, watching television and listening to music.

'a fond' is incorrect; 'fond' does not take 'a'. Also 'listening music' needs preposition 'to'. Suggestion: use 'fond of' and 'listening to' with activities.

× My goal is to become.

✓ My goal is to become a doctor (or state desired profession).

This is an incomplete sentence; it lacks the profession or objective. Provide the complete noun phrase after 'become'. Suggestion: always complete 'to become' with the intended role or career.