Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Start with a clear, grammatically correct topic sentence that directly answers the question. Use past tense consistently when talking about childhood. Remove filler words (uh, um) and avoid redundancy. Expand slightly with one or two specific supporting details (e.g., why you did not like riding or what you preferred to do instead), using a linking word (e.g., because, so) to connect ideas. Keep it within 3–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child, but I rarely used it because I didn’t enjoy riding. For example, I preferred playing football with friends after school, so I usually left the bike in the garage. As a result, it stayed unused most of the time.

提案: Give a direct opinion sentence and support it with clear, specific reasons or examples. Avoid repetition and hesitations. Use linking words (for example, because, for instance) to structure your support. Mention one or two concrete reasons why bikes are popular (e.g., affordability, traffic, sport events) and give a brief example about friends participating in events, phrased correctly.

例: Yes, I think bikes are quite popular in my country because they are affordable and help people avoid heavy traffic. For instance, many students and commuters use bicycles for short trips. Also, cycling events are common — one of my friends recently took part in a local bike race, which shows how widespread the hobby is.

× Yesterday when I was a child, I have a bike but usually, uh, I didn't use use much because I don't really like to ride a bike so that's why.

✓ When I was a child, I had a bike, but I didn't use it much because I didn't really like riding a bike.

The sentence mixes past and present tenses incorrectly. 'When I was a child' sets a past timeframe, so verbs should be past: 'have' should be 'had' and 'don't really like' should be 'didn't really like.' Also 'use use' is a repetition and 'use much' needs an object 'it.' Use the gerund 'riding' after 'like.' Suggestion: keep verbs consistent in past tense and remove repeated words.

× I think a bike or biker's bikes are popular in my country 'cause in my country pers in generous not like sorry, sorry, sorry, personal speaking.

✓ I think bicycles are popular in my country because people generally like them.

The original sentence uses unclear and incorrect pronouns/words: 'biker's bikes' and 'pers in generous' are garbled. 'People' is the correct pronoun for 'pers,' and 'generally like them' clearly expresses popularity. Also use 'because' instead of informal ''cause.' Suggestion: use 'people' and a clear verb phrase like 'are popular' or 'people generally like them.'

× Uh, my friends, my friend joined a participated, uh, bikes match.

✓ My friend participated in a bike race.

The phrase 'joined a participated' mixes two verbs; choose one. 'Participated' is past tense and should be followed by 'in' when indicating participation in an event. 'Bikes match' is incorrect collocation; 'bike race' or 'cycling race' is appropriate. Suggestion: use 'participated in' plus the correct noun 'bike race.'