Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and natural: give a clear topic sentence, one specific supporting detail, and avoid repetition and filler words. Use correct phrasing ("when I was a child"). If you want to add a brief reason or memory, link it with a connector (e.g., "because", "so"). Keep it to 2–3 sentences.

例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. My dad bought it for me when I was around eight, and I used to ride it to the park every weekend because I loved exploring with my friends.

提案: Answer directly with a clearer structure and more natural grammar. Start with a topic sentence, then give a specific example and a reason using linking words (e.g., "for example", "because", "so"). Avoid filler words and correct pluralisation ("bikes", "students"). Keep to 2–3 sentences.

例: Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country. For example, many university students ride bikes to campus because it is faster and cheaper than taking a bus, so they can save time and money.

× Yes, I used to have a bike or uh, I used to have a bike when I was a childhood.

✓ Yes, I used to have a bike, or uh, I used to have a bike when I was a child.

The phrase 'when I was a childhood' is ungrammatical because 'childhood' is a noun that refers to the period of being a child and cannot be used with 'was' in this way. The correct form is 'when I was a child.' The sentence also repeats 'I used to have a bike' unnecessarily; keep one occurrence or link them with a comma. Suggestion: use 'when I was a child' and avoid repetition.

× Yes, bike is quite popular in my country.

✓ Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country.

The subject refers to bikes in general, so it should be plural. Use the plural noun 'bikes' and the plural verb 'are' to match. Suggestion: use 'bikes are' when speaking about the general popularity of bicycles.

× Uh, for example, in the university students, uh, always ride bikes go go school, which is uh, which can help them to save a lot of time for commuting.

✓ For example, university students often ride bikes to go to school, which can help them save a lot of commuting time.

Multiple issues fall under preposition and sentence structure errors. 'In the university students' is incorrect; use 'university students' without 'in'. 'Ride bikes go go school' is missing prepositions and verbs: use 'ride bikes to go to school' or simply 'ride bikes to school.' 'Save a lot of time for commuting' is more natural as 'save a lot of commuting time' or 'save a lot of time when commuting.' Also remove filler repetitions and extraneous words. Suggestion: streamline the sentence to 'university students often ride bikes to school, which helps them save commuting time.'