Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Reduce repetition, correct a vocabulary mistake, and keep answers concise (max 5 sentences). Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Replace incorrect verb choices (e.g., “write” → “ride”) and avoid redundant fillers.

例: Yes. I had a small bike that my father gave me for my birthday. I was thrilled because I had just learned to balance on two wheels, so I rode it every afternoon around the neighborhood. It helped me feel more independent and confident.

提案: Provide a clear, grammatically correct topic sentence and develop it with specific details; avoid hesitations and incomplete sentences. Use linking words (however, for example, because) and correct verb forms (e.g., “are popular,” “they are common in my city”). Mention reasons or examples to support your opinion.

例: Yes, I think bikes are quite popular in my country. For example, in my city many people use bicycles for short trips and students often ride to school. This is because cycling is cheap and convenient, and some neighborhoods have bike lanes that make it safer.

× I remember being very excited because I had just learned to balance on two wheels and I used to write it every afternoon around the neighborhood.

✓ I remember being very excited because I had just learned to balance on two wheels and I used to ride it every afternoon around the neighborhood.

The verb 'write' is incorrect in this context; the intended verb is 'ride' when referring to using a bicycle. This is a word choice error that makes the sentence illogical. To improve, use verbs that match the activity (ride a bike, drive a car, play a game).

× Yes, yes I know uh bikes was popular and separated, uh, in my city, umm, very popular in my street because umm my friends have a.

✓ Yes, bikes are popular in my city and on my street because my friends have them.

Multiple issues are present: 'bikes was' uses a singular verb with a plural subject (subject-verb agreement) and wrong tense; the correct present-tense plural form is 'bikes are.' The word 'separated' is unclear and likely incorrect here; omit it or replace with a clearer adjective. The phrase 'my friends have a' is incomplete and needs an object; use the pronoun 'them' to refer back to 'bikes.' To improve, simplify the sentence, use correct subject-verb agreement, and ensure pronouns clearly refer to their antecedents.