News— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is relevant but contains some hesitation and redundancy. Try to be more concise and avoid filler words like 'umm' and repeated phrases. Also, structure your answer with a clear topic sentence followed by supporting details using linking words.

例: Yes, I am very interested in news because it helps me stay informed about global events. Moreover, it allows me to share my opinions with others and engage in meaningful conversations.

提案: Your answer does not directly address the question about how you find news. Focus on the methods or sources you use to get news, and provide specific examples with linking words to make your answer coherent.

例: I usually find news through online websites and social media platforms. For example, I often check news apps on my phone because they provide real-time updates and diverse perspectives.

提案: Your answer is clear and relevant but could be improved by adding more specific reasons and linking words to enrich the response. Avoid repetition such as 'to to'.

例: Yes, I would love to be a journalist because it offers the opportunity to inform the public and uncover important stories. Although it can be stressful, the excitement of sharing news with the world motivates me.

提案: Your answer is somewhat unclear and contains hesitation. Try to organize your answer with a clear topic sentence and supporting details using linking words. Also, be careful with factual accuracy and phrasing, for example, 'Nobel Peace Prize-winning country'.

例: No, I didn't read the news this morning, but I watched the BBC News channel in the afternoon. They reported on the situation in Venezuela, which is notable as the country of several Nobel Peace Prize winners.

提案: Your answer is clear and relevant but can be improved by removing hesitation and using linking words to connect ideas smoothly. Also, try to be more concise.

例: I usually avoid discussing the news with my friends because it can lead to heated arguments. Therefore, I prefer to keep our conversations light and enjoyable.

× I think that I'm up to date with what's going on in the world and can share my thoughts with others.

✓ I think that I'm up to date with what's going on in the world and I can share my thoughts with others.

The original sentence omits the subject 'I' before 'can share', which is necessary for clarity and grammatical correctness in compound predicates.

× I usually find news intriguing because, yeah, I think that whatever happens, happens for a reason.

✓ I usually find the news intriguing because, yeah, I think that whatever happens happens for a reason.

The phrase 'find news intriguing' is awkward; 'the news' is the correct noun phrase. Also, the comma after 'happens' is unnecessary and disrupts the sentence flow.

× But there are always surprises and lately whatever has been going on in the world.

✓ But there are always surprises, and lately, a lot has been going on in the world.

The original sentence is incomplete and lacks a main verb for the second clause. Adding 'a lot has been going on' completes the thought and improves clarity.

× I know it's a lot of pressure, but it's exciting to think about what my next story would be in presenting it to to the world.

✓ I know it's a lot of pressure, but it's exciting to think about what my next story would be and presenting it to the world.

The phrase 'would be in presenting' is incorrect; 'and presenting' correctly connects the two ideas. Also, 'to to' is a typographical error and should be 'to'.

× No, I don't think I did, but I did watch the umm, BBC News channel in the afternoon where they showed what's going on in Latin America when in Venezuela in particular, where the Peace Nobel Peace Prize winners country.

✓ No, I don't think I did, but I did watch the BBC News channel in the afternoon where they showed what's going on in Latin America, particularly in Venezuela, the country of the Nobel Peace Prize winners.

The sentence has awkward phrasing and redundancy ('Peace Nobel Peace Prize winners country'). Correcting the phrase to 'the country of the Nobel Peace Prize winners' clarifies meaning. Also, removing 'umm' and fixing punctuation improves fluency.

× Umm, I usually avoid talking about the news with my friends because sometimes it leads to heated discussions and with friends I would like to avoid conflict and just stay relaxed and enjoy other things.

✓ I usually avoid talking about the news with my friends because sometimes it leads to heated discussions, and with friends, I would like to avoid conflict and just stay relaxed and enjoy other things.

The sentence needs commas to separate clauses for clarity. Also, removing 'Umm' improves formality and fluency.