Sharing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is relevant but contains grammatical errors and some unclear phrases. Try to use correct sentence structures and avoid filler words like 'you know'. Also, be more concise and clear in expressing your ideas.

例: Yes, my parents taught me that sharing is a valuable virtue. They encouraged me to be generous by sharing my toys and books with my classmates, which helped me develop kindness and generosity.

提案: Your answer is on topic but includes some unclear expressions and filler words. Try to avoid 'you know' and incomplete thoughts. Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly and be specific about the benefits of sharing books.

例: I enjoy sharing books with my friends because we have different tastes and knowledge. By sharing books, we can explore new ideas, broaden our horizons, and learn from each other.

提案: Your answer is relevant but contains hesitation and unclear phrasing. Avoid filler words like 'you know' and 'uh'. Use clear and complete sentences to express your ideas more effectively.

例: I believe personal feelings or emotions about relationships, such as those involving boyfriends or husbands, are not suitable for sharing because they are private and personal matters.

提案: Your answer is incomplete and contains hesitation. Try to complete your thoughts clearly and avoid filler words. Use linking words to organise your ideas logically.

例: Yes, recently I shared with my friends that I quit my job at a multinational company because I am preparing to start my own business. It was an important decision that I wanted to discuss with them.

提案: Your answer is relevant but contains grammatical errors and incomplete sentences. Avoid repetition and unclear phrases. Use clear and complete sentences to express your ideas.

例: The first person I would like to share good news with is my mother because she is very important to me and always supports me.

提案: Your answer is relevant but includes filler words and some grammatical errors. Try to avoid 'you know' and use correct sentence structures. Be more specific about the types of news and the benefits of sharing.

例: I often share news about my children's education and challenges at work with my friends because they can offer supportive advice on how to handle these situations, which is very helpful for me.

× Yes, as a child my parents taught me sharing is a good virtue and they hope me be generous and kind for sharing my toys, my books with my classmates.

✓ Yes, as a child my parents taught me that sharing is a good virtue and they hope I will be generous and kind in sharing my toys and books with my classmates.

The verb 'hope' should be followed by 'I will be' to express future intention correctly. Also, 'hope me be' is incorrect; it should be 'hope I will be'. Additionally, 'for sharing' should be 'in sharing' to correctly express the context of sharing toys and books.

× It really shake my, you know, quality for sharing.

✓ It really shaped my, you know, quality of sharing.

The verb 'shake' is incorrect here; the past tense 'shaped' fits the context better. Also, 'quality for sharing' should be 'quality of sharing' to correctly express the attribute.

× I enjoy sharing books with my friends because we have a different taste and different knowledge.

✓ I enjoy sharing books with my friends because we have different tastes and different knowledge.

The noun 'taste' should be plural 'tastes' to agree with 'we' indicating multiple people having different tastes.

× When we share books, we can, you know, explore our unknown world and broaden our horizons and gain, I think, a quieter.

✓ When we share books, we can, you know, explore unknown worlds, broaden our horizons, and gain, I think, a quieter mind.

The phrase 'our unknown world' is better as 'unknown worlds' to reflect multiple perspectives. Also, 'gain a quieter' is incomplete; it needs a noun like 'mind' to complete the meaning.

× I think the personal feelings or emotions about, you know, boyfriends or husband, uh, I think her it's not permitted to share because it's quite personal and private.

✓ I think personal feelings or emotions about, you know, boyfriends or husbands, uh, I think it's not permitted to share because they're quite personal and private.

The pronoun 'her' is incorrect here; it should be 'it's' referring to the subject. Also, 'husband' should be plural 'husbands' to match 'boyfriends'. The pronoun 'they're' correctly refers to 'feelings or emotions'.

× Yes, I think an important message I still need to share with my friends. It's about my, you know, my job preference. I recently I quit from the multinational company and prepared to start my own company. It's quite a.

✓ Yes, I think an important message I still need to share with my friends. It's about my, you know, job preference. Recently, I quit the multinational company and am preparing to start my own company. It's quite a.

The phrase 'I recently I quit from' is incorrect; it should be 'Recently, I quit'. Also, 'prepared' should be 'am preparing' to indicate ongoing action. The preposition 'from' after 'quit' is unnecessary.

× When it comes to the person who I want to share good news, firstly, my mom popped into my mind. Yes, definitely I want to share a good message with my mom because she is so important and crucial for me. She did, she have done, she has done.

✓ When it comes to the person I want to share good news with, firstly, my mom pops into my mind. Yes, definitely I want to share good news with my mom because she is so important and crucial to me. She has done.

The phrase 'who I want to share good news' should be 'who I want to share good news with' to be grammatically correct. 'Popped' should be 'pops' to match present tense. 'Crucial for me' should be 'crucial to me'. The last sentence is incomplete; 'She has done' is correct but needs context.

× I always share the, you know, the education about kids and you know, job challenge with my friends because my friends can give me supportive advice how to tackle with these types of questions. It's very beneficial for me.

✓ I always share, you know, education about kids and, you know, job challenges with my friends because my friends can give me supportive advice on how to tackle these types of questions. It's very beneficial for me.

The phrase 'advice how to tackle with' is incorrect; it should be 'advice on how to tackle'. Also, 'job challenge' should be plural 'job challenges' to match the context.