Sharing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: حاول تستخدم جمل أكثر طبيعية وتجنب التكرار، مثلاً بدل ما تقول "If not, I would get into big trouble" ممكن تقول "Otherwise, I would be in trouble". وحاول تضيف تفاصيل أكثر عن كيف علموك المشاركة.

例: Yes, my parents always encouraged me to share my toys and food with friends because they believed sharing builds kindness. Otherwise, I would be in trouble if I refused to share.

提案: حاول تكون إجابتك أكثر مباشرة ومرتبة، واستخدم روابط بين الجمل مثل "because" و"so" بشكل صحيح. قلل من الكلمات الزائدة ووضح السبب بشكل أفضل.

例: I like to share my PlayStation with my friends during the week because I usually play it with my family on weekends. So, sharing it during the week makes everyone happy.

提案: حاول تتجنب التردد والكلمات الزائدة مثل "uh" و"because your own". استخدم جمل واضحة ومترابطة مع أمثلة محددة لتوضيح رأيك.

例: I believe clothes are not suitable for sharing because they are personal items. For example, sharing clothes can be uncomfortable and unhygienic.

提案: حاول ترتيب أفكارك بشكل أفضل واستخدم جمل كاملة وواضحة. تجنب الأخطاء النحوية مثل "This and I felt happy" ووضح مشاعرك بشكل طبيعي.

例: Recently, I lent my laptop to a friend who had an online interview because my laptop has advanced features. I felt happy to help him.

提案: تجنب التردد والكلمات الزائدة مثل "uh" و"so". حاول تكوين جمل كاملة وواضحة مع ترتيب الأفكار بشكل منطقي.

例: I would like to share good news first with my closest friend because we have been friends for almost 15 years. He is very important to me.

提案: حاول استخدام جمل أكثر وضوحاً وتجنب التردد. استخدم روابط مثل "because" و"so" بشكل صحيح ووضح نوع الأخبار التي تشاركها.

例: I share any news that is related to my friends because we have a long history from university. We have experienced many great moments together, so I always keep in touch with them.

× Yes, my parents taught me to share my toys and even my food with friends if they need anything.

✓ Yes, my parents taught me to share my toys and even my food with friends if they needed anything.

The sentence refers to a past situation, so the verb in the conditional clause should be in the past tense ('needed') to match the past context. Using 'need' (present tense) is incorrect here.

× If not, I would get into big trouble with my mother and my father.

✓ If not, I would get into big trouble with my mother and my father.

This sentence is correct in modal verb usage; no correction needed.

× Well, I remember when I had my own PlayStation, I sometimes gave it to my friends during the week actually, because at the weekend I used to play PlayStation with my family.

✓ Well, I remember when I had my own PlayStation, I sometimes gave it to my friends during the week actually, because at the weekend I used to play PlayStation with my family.

The sentence is correct in tense usage; no correction needed.

× So This is why I gave my PlayStation to my friends.

✓ So this is why I gave my PlayStation to my friends.

The word 'This' should not be capitalized in the middle of the sentence. Correct capitalization improves sentence structure and readability.

× Well, uh, personally, I think clothes, it's not good to share with the friends because your own, uh, and when you have, uh, your own clothes, uh, it's not, uh, a good idea to share it with your friends or everyone else because it's only for you.

✓ Well, uh, personally, I think clothes are not good to share with friends because they are your own, and when you have your own clothes, it's not a good idea to share them with your friends or anyone else because they are only for you.

The original sentence has incorrect preposition usage and pronoun agreement. 'Share with the friends' should be 'share with friends' (no article needed). Also, 'share it' should be 'share them' to agree with the plural noun 'clothes'. Correct preposition and pronoun use improves clarity.

× Yes, I have given my own laptop to my friend because he had an interview online and he wanted to use my laptop because my laptop is very advanced and a great technology.

✓ Yes, I gave my own laptop to my friend because he had an interview online and he wanted to use my laptop because my laptop is very advanced and a great technology.

The present perfect 'have given' is less appropriate here because the action is completed in the past with a specific time context ('he had an interview'). Simple past 'gave' fits better.

× This and I felt happy when I gave him.

✓ I felt happy when I gave it to him.

The original sentence is fragmented and unclear. Correct sentence structure requires a subject and verb properly connected. Also, 'gave him' should be 'gave it to him' to clarify the object.

× My closer friends, I, uh, we have been friends for almost 15 years, so I consider his uh, my uh, so, uh, my best friend and my precious friend and I usually when I have a new, uh, news, I definitely.

✓ My closest friend, we have been friends for almost 15 years, so I consider him my best and precious friend, and usually when I have news, I definitely share it with him.

'Closer friends' should be 'closest friend' to indicate a singular best friend. 'His' is incorrect pronoun here; 'him' is correct. 'News' is uncountable, so 'a new news' is incorrect; just 'news' is used. The sentence was incomplete and needed restructuring for clarity.

× OK, any kind of news related to my friends because we had history actually, uh, when we, uh, were at university.

✓ OK, any kind of news related to my friends because we actually had history when we were at university.

The phrase 'had history' is informal and unclear. It is better to say 'we actually had a history together' or 'we have a history'. Also, the placement of 'actually' is improved for natural flow.

× We, uh, have been through a lot of, uh, great things. So I always keep in touch with them.

✓ We have been through a lot of great things, so I always keep in touch with them.

The sentence is mostly correct; removing filler words improves clarity. The present perfect 'have been through' and present simple 'keep' are appropriate here.