Sharing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to provide a complete sentence that directly answers the question and avoid grammatical errors. Also, reduce filler words like 'uh' and clarify your points with specific examples or explanations.

例: Yes, my parents taught me to share when I was a child because they believed it was important to develop good habits and cooperation with others.

提案: Focus on making your sentences grammatically correct and concise. Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly and avoid repetition such as 'most mostly'.

例: I like to share my food with others because I often cook various dishes that many people enjoy.

提案: Avoid excessive filler words and improve sentence structure for clarity. Provide a clear reason and use linking words to connect your ideas logically.

例: I believe clothes and jewellery are not suitable for sharing because they can carry skin diseases that might harm others.

提案: Use past tense consistently and avoid filler words. Make your sentences clearer and more natural by restructuring them and adding linking words.

例: Yes, I recently shared my travelling bag with my cousin because she was going on a trip and needed it.

提案: Complete your sentences and avoid trailing off. Use linking words to explain your reasons clearly and maintain coherence.

例: I would like to share good news with my daughter first because she is very important to me, and I always share everything in my life with her.

提案: Improve sentence structure and grammar for clarity. Use linking words to connect ideas and be more specific about the types of news you share.

例: I share all kinds of news with my friends, but most often I talk about household purchases, like when I buy new items.

× Because it was a good habit and it also develop a habit of the cooperation, uh, among the child.

✓ Because it was a good habit and it also developed a habit of cooperation among children.

The verb 'develop' should be in the past tense 'developed' to match the past tense context 'was'. Also, 'the cooperation' is incorrect; 'cooperation' is uncountable and does not need 'the'. 'Among the child' should be 'among children' to correctly use the plural form.

× Because it was a good habit and it also develop a habit of the cooperation, uh, among the child.

✓ Because it was a good habit and it also developed a habit of cooperation among children.

The noun 'child' should be plural 'children' because 'among' refers to more than one person.

× There are several thing which we can share with others but most mostly I like to share my food with others because I made various dishes which mostly people like.

✓ There are several things which we can share with others but mostly I like to share my food with others because I make various dishes which most people like.

'Thing' should be plural 'things' to agree with 'several'. 'Most mostly' is redundant; 'mostly' alone is sufficient. 'Made' should be present tense 'make' to match the habitual action. 'Mostly people' should be 'most people'.

× There are several thing which we can share with others but most mostly I like to share my food with others because I made various dishes which mostly people like.

✓ There are several things which we can share with others but mostly I like to share my food with others because I make various dishes which most people like.

The verb 'made' is past tense but the sentence describes a habitual action, so present tense 'make' is appropriate.

× Actually, I think clothes and jewellery we should not share, uh, with anyone because, uh, sometime people have uh, some skin disease which may be harmful, uh, uh, for, uh, others. So we should not share the, these things.

✓ Actually, I think clothes and jewellery we should not share with anyone because sometimes people have some skin diseases which may be harmful for others. So we should not share these things.

'Sometime' should be plural 'sometimes' to indicate frequency. 'Skin disease' should be plural 'skin diseases' to match 'some'. The phrase 'the, these things' is incorrect; 'these things' alone is correct.

× Actually, I think clothes and jewellery we should not share, uh, with anyone because, uh, sometime people have uh, some skin disease which may be harmful, uh, uh, for, uh, others. So we should not share the, these things.

✓ Actually, I think clothes and jewellery should not be shared with anyone because sometimes people have some skin diseases which may be harmful for others. So we should not share these things.

Using passive voice with modal verb 'should' is more appropriate here: 'should not be shared' rather than 'should not share' to indicate the action on the items.

× Yes, I have a travelling bag which I recently share with my cousin because she was going for a trip so uh, she need for it and uh, I give it for her.

✓ Yes, I have a travelling bag which I recently shared with my cousin because she was going for a trip so she needed it and I gave it to her.

The modal verb 'need' should be in past tense 'needed' to match the past context. 'Give' should be past tense 'gave'. Also, 'share' should be past tense 'shared'. The preposition 'for' after 'give' is incorrect; it should be 'to'.

× Yes, I have a travelling bag which I recently share with my cousin because she was going for a trip so uh, she need for it and uh, I give it for her.

✓ Yes, I have a travelling bag which I recently shared with my cousin because she was going for a trip so she needed it and I gave it to her.

The verbs 'share', 'need', and 'give' should be in past tense 'shared', 'needed', and 'gave' to maintain consistency with the past event described.

× Yes, I have a travelling bag which I recently share with my cousin because she was going for a trip so uh, she need for it and uh, I give it for her.

✓ Yes, I have a travelling bag which I recently shared with my cousin because she was going for a trip so she needed it and I gave it to her.

The preposition 'for' after 'need' and 'give' is incorrect. The correct preposition is 'to' when indicating the recipient of an action.

× I would like to share the good news with my daughter and firstly because she is a very important person in my life. Everything of my life I share with her and.

✓ I would like to share the good news with my daughter first because she is a very important person in my life. I share everything in my life with her.

'And firstly' is an incorrect conjunction and adverb placement. 'First' is the correct adverb here. The sentence ending with 'and' is incomplete and should be rephrased for clarity.

× I would like to share the good news with my daughter and firstly because she is a very important person in my life. Everything of my life I share with her and.

✓ I would like to share the good news with my daughter first because she is a very important person in my life. I share everything in my life with her.

The original sentence is fragmented and incomplete. It needs to be split into two complete sentences with proper word order and conjunctions.

× There is everything which I like to share with my friends but most commonly I share with them household purchasing. Like whenever I purchase the new things I share with them.

✓ There is everything that I like to share with my friends but most commonly I share household purchases with them. Whenever I purchase new things, I share with them.

'Household purchasing' is incorrect; the correct noun phrase is 'household purchases'. Also, 'the new things' should be 'new things' without 'the'.