Sharing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is clear and relevant, but avoid minor grammatical errors and redundancy such as "and which". Also, try to use more varied vocabulary and linking words to improve fluency and coherence.

例: Yes, my parents encouraged me to share various things with my friends during childhood. For instance, they taught me to share my knowledge and experiences, which enhanced my skills and boosted my confidence. Additionally, I often shared my musical instruments, making playing together more enjoyable and rewarding.

提案: Good answer with clear structure and relevant content. To improve, try to use more linking words to connect ideas smoothly and include more specific examples to enrich your response.

例: I enjoy sharing various things with others, such as my academic knowledge, professional experience, and musical instruments. Sharing these not only builds my confidence but also strengthens relationships by creating opportunities for us to connect and learn from one another.

提案: Your answer addresses the question well but contains some hesitations and minor errors (e.g., "PR private matters"). Try to avoid fillers and clarify your points with smoother linking words and more precise vocabulary.

例: I believe personal information, like passwords, bank details, or identity-related data, should never be shared as it can be easily misused. Moreover, private matters such as family issues or health problems are sensitive and should not be disclosed publicly to avoid discomfort.

提案: Your answer is relevant but contains many hesitations and unclear phrases (e.g., "part of other trays"). Work on fluency and clarity by practicing smoother speech and using precise vocabulary. Also, avoid repetition and ensure sentences are complete.

例: Recently, I shared information about a cream I purchased from China. It effectively protects the skin from harmful UV rays and helps maintain a healthy glow. I recommended it to my friends because it works well even under strong sunlight.

提案: Your answer is heartfelt but includes hesitations and some grammatical errors (e.g., "attentive and patience", "gifted with advice"). Practice speaking more fluently and use correct adjective forms and expressions to improve clarity.

例: The first person I would share good news with is my wife because she is always attentive and patient when I talk to her. She listens carefully and offers valuable advice, helping me see things from different perspectives. If my ideas are not fully developed, she gently suggests ways to improve them, which I truly appreciate.

提案: Your answer covers the question well but contains hesitations and minor errors (e.g., "strengthen our band"). Try to avoid fillers and use more precise phrases. Also, use linking words to improve coherence.

例: I usually share various types of news with my friends, such as political updates, recent developments in science and technology, and sports news. Sharing these keeps us informed and helps strengthen our bond. It's also an excellent way to learn from each other.

× For example, they taught me to share my knowledge and experience, which helped me improve my skill and build confidence.

✓ For example, they taught me to share my knowledge and experience, which helped me improve my skills and build confidence.

The word 'skill' should be plural 'skills' because it refers to multiple abilities or areas of expertise, not just one.

× I also often shared my musical instruments and enjoyed playing with others, and which made the experience more fun and rewarding.

✓ I also often shared my musical instruments and enjoyed playing with others, which made the experience more fun and rewarding.

The conjunction 'and' before 'which' is unnecessary and incorrect here. 'Which' introduces a relative clause referring to the previous clause, so 'and' should be removed.

× Besides that, umm PR private matters such as family issues or health problems shouldn't be shared publicly because they're sensitive and can make people uncomfortable.

✓ Besides that, umm, private matters such as family issues or health problems shouldn't be shared publicly because they're sensitive and can make people uncomfortable.

The phrase 'umm PR' seems to be a mispronunciation or typo. It should be 'umm,' as a hesitation sound, and 'PR' is unnecessary here.

× It's a very effective UH, in protecting the skin from harmful part of other trays and helps the and helps keep the skin glowing.

✓ It's very effective in protecting the skin from harmful parts of other rays and helps keep the skin glowing.

'Part' should be plural 'parts' because it refers to multiple harmful components. 'Other trays' is incorrect; it should be 'other rays' referring to sunlight rays. Also, the phrase 'and helps the and helps' is redundant and should be simplified.

× Well, the first person I'd like to share good news with is my wife because she's always very attentive and patience when I talk to her.

✓ Well, the first person I'd like to share good news with is my wife because she's always very attentive and patient when I talk to her.

'Patience' is a noun, but the sentence requires an adjective to describe 'she.' The correct adjective is 'patient.'

× She, uh, she listens very carefully and gifted with advice, which helps me see things from a different perspective.

✓ She, uh, listens very carefully and is gifted with advice, which helps me see things from a different perspective.

The verb 'is' is missing before 'gifted,' and the repeated subject 'she' is unnecessary. The sentence needs 'is gifted' to be grammatically correct.

× First chance, if my ideas are not fully developed or practical, she gently suggests, uh, ways to improve them, which I really appreciate.

✓ At first chance, if my ideas are not fully developed or practical, she gently suggests, uh, ways to improve them, which I really appreciate.

The phrase 'First chance' is incomplete and unclear. It should be 'At first chance' or 'At the first chance' to indicate timing properly.

× For instance, political updates, the recent developments in science and technology, and Sports News.

✓ For instance, political updates, recent developments in science and technology, and sports news.

'Sports News' should be in lowercase 'sports news' as it is a general noun phrase, not a proper noun. Also, 'the recent developments' can be simplified to 'recent developments' for consistency.

× Sharing these news areas naturally UMM keeps us informed but also helps us strengthen our band.

✓ Sharing this news naturally, umm, keeps us informed but also helps us strengthen our bond.

'News' is uncountable and singular, so 'these news areas' is incorrect. It should be 'this news.' Also, 'band' is incorrect in context; the correct word is 'bond' meaning relationship.