Sharing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: ਉত্তਰ ਸਾਫ, ਮਰਿਆਦਾ ਅਤੇ ਸਹੀ ਸ਼ਬਦਾਂ ਨਾਲ ਦਿਓ। ਸ਼ੁਰੂ ਵਿੱਚ ਖੁਲਾਸਾ ਕਰੋ (ਹਾਂ/ਨਹੀਂ) ਫਿਰ 1-2 ਵਾਕਾਂ ਵਿੱਚ ਝਲਕ ਦਿਓ ਕਿ ਕਿਵੇਂ ਮਾਪਿਆਂ ਨੇ ਸਿਖਾਇਆ। ਗਲਤ ਸ਼ਬਦਾਂ (ਜਿਵੇਂ ‘penis’ ਇਥੇ ਗਲਤ ਹੈ) ਦੀ ਜਗ੍ਹਾ ‘parents’ ਜਾਂ ‘they’ ਵਰਤੋ। ਵਾਕਾਂ ਦੀ ਲੰਬਾਈ 2-4 ਵਾਕ ਰੱਖੋ ਅਤੇ ਇੱਕ ਜਾਂ ਦੋ ਸਪੋਰਟਿੰਗ ਡੀਟੇਲ ਦਿਓ।

例: Yes, definitely. My parents taught me to share from a young age by encouraging me to offer toys and snacks to siblings. Because they praised sharing as a polite habit, I learned to be generous and considerate.

提案: ਸਪੱਸ਼ਟ ਅਤੇ ਸਟ੍ਰਕਚਰਡ ਜਵਾਬ ਦਿਓ: ਟਾਪਿਕ ਵਾਕ ਨਾਲ ਸ਼ੁਰੂ ਕਰੋ (I like to share...). ਫਿਰ 1-2 ਵਾਕਾਂ ਵਿੱਚ ਖਾਸ ਉਦਾਹਰਣ ਦਿਓ ਅਤੇ ਕਿਉਂ। ਗ੍ਰੈਮਰ ਠੀਕ ਕਰੋ (e.g., ‘I like to share food and books’). ਲਿੰਕਿੰਗ ਸ਼ਬਦ ਵਰਤੋ (‘for example’, ‘also’).

例: I like to share food and books with my friends and family. For example, I often bring snacks to school to share with classmates, and I lend my novels to friends who enjoy reading.

提案: ਦਿਨਚਰਿਆ ਦਾ ਸਪੱਸ਼ਟ ਜਵਾਬ ਦਿਓ: ਸ਼ੁਰੂਵੇਂ ਵਿਚ ਇੱਕ ਟਾਪਿਕ ਸੈਂਟੈਂਸ ਦਿਓ ਅਤੇ ਫਿਰ 1-2 ਨੁਕਤੇ ਸਪੈਸੀਫਿਕਲੀ ਦਿਓ। ਗਲਤ ਦੁਹਰਾਈਆਂ ਹਟਾਓ ('toothbrush toothbrush') ਅਤੇ ਸ਼ਬਦਾਂ ਨੂੰ ਠੀਕ ਕਰੋ (e.g., ‘underwear’, ‘toothbrush’). ਕਾਰਨ ਵੀ ਦਿੱਤੋਂ ਕਿ ਕਿਉਂ ਨਹੀਂ ਸ਼ੇਅਰ ਕਰਨੇ।

例: Sharing is usually good, but some personal items should not be shared. For instance, you should not share a toothbrush or underwear because they can spread germs and are private items.

提案: ਜਵਾਬ ਸਿੱਧਾ ਅਤੇ ਸਪੱਸ਼ਟ ਰੱਖੋ: ਕਿਹਾ ਕਿ ‘Yes, I shared X’ ਫਿਰ ਇੱਕ-ਦੋ ਵਾਕਾਂ ਵਿੱਚ ਸਥਿਤੀ ਵੇਰਵਾ ਕਰੋ। ਗੈਰ-ਜ਼ਰੂਰੀ ਸ਼ਬਦ ਅਤੇ ਗ਼ਲਤ ਗ੍ਰੈਮਰ ਹਟਾਓ। ਤਰੀਕਾ ਅਤੇ ਕਾਰਨ ਦੱਸੋ (why and when).

例: Yes, last month I lent my watch to a friend for a special event because he forgot his own. I was happy to help and he returned it the next day.

提案: ਸਪੱਸ਼ਟ ਟਾਪਿਕ ਸੈਂਟੈਂਸ ਨਾਲ ਸ਼ੁਰੂ ਕਰੋ: ‘I would share with...’ ਫਿਰ ਕਾਰਨ ਦਿਓ। ਗਲਤ ਸ਼ਬਦਾਂ ਨੂੰ ਠੀਕ ਕਰੋ (‘faith’ → ‘trust’; ‘they always get it and given the better’ → ‘she understands me and gives good advice’). 2-3 ਵਾਕਾਂ ਵਿੱਚ ਰਹੋ।

例: I would share good news with my sister because I trust her. She always understands my feelings and gives helpful advice, so she is the first person I call.

提案: ਟਾਪਿਕ ਸੈਂਟੈਂਸ ਨਾਲ ਸ਼ੁਰੂ ਕਰੋ: ‘I share...’ ਫਿਰ ਕਿਸ ਕਿਸਮ ਦੀਆਂ ਖ਼ਬਰਾਂ ਜਾਂ ਮੁਲਾਕਾਤਾਂ ਦੱਸੋ (e.g., funny events, plans). ਵਰਕਲਿੜੀ ਅਤੇ ਕਲੀਅਰ ਗ੍ਰੈਮਰ ਵਰਤੋ। ਲਿੰਕਿੰਗ ਸ਼ਬਦਾਂ (for example, in the evenings) ਦੀ ਵਰਤੋਂ ਕਰੋ ਅਤੇ 2-3 ਵਾਕਾਂ ਵਿੱਚ ਸੀਮਿਤ ਰੱਖੋ।

例: I usually share funny or interesting moments from my day with my friends. For example, in the evenings we talk about the funniest things that happened at work or school and spend some quality time chatting.

× Uh, definitely my penis very good for a manner.

✓ Uh, definitely my parents taught me very good manners.

The student used incorrect noun 'penis' instead of 'parents' and wrong pronoun forms. Use 'parents' (plural) as the subject and 'taught me' for past action; 'manners' is plural. Punjabi (India): 'ਵਾਕ ਵਿੱਚ ਗਲਤ ਸ਼ਬਦ ਅਤੇ ਸਰਵਨਾਮ ਦੀ ਵਰਤੋਂ ਕੀਤੀ ਗਈ ਹੈ; "penis" ਦੀ ਜਗ੍ਹਾ 'parents' ਹੋਣਾ ਚਾਹੀਦਾ ਹੈ ਅਤੇ 'taught me' ਨਾਲ ਪਿਛਲੇ ਸਮੇਂ ਦੱਸੋ, ਤੇ 'manners' ਬਹੁਵਚਨ ਵਰਤੋ।'

× So it always tease to me for the sharing in my charge of time because it's very good habit for the individuals.

✓ So they always encouraged me to share during my childhood because it is a very good habit for individuals.

Sentence had wrong subject 'it', wrong verb 'tease', incorrect prepositional phrase 'in my charge of time'. Use 'they' referring to parents, 'encouraged me to share', 'during my childhood'. Punjabi (India): 'ਵਾਕ ਸੰਰਚਨਾ ਗਲਤ ਹੈ; "it" ਦੀ ਜਗ੍ਹਾ 'they' ਵਰਤੋ, 'encouraged me to share during my childhood' ਬਨਾਓ।'

× So yeah, always encourage to me for sharing.

✓ So yeah, they always encouraged me to share.

Use correct subject 'they' and verb form 'encouraged me to share'. Remove incorrect 'encourage to me'. Punjabi (India): 'ਸਹੀ ਸਰਵਨਾਮ ਅਤੇ ਕ੍ਰਿਆ ਦੀ ਲੋੜ ਹੈ; "they always encouraged me to share" ਕਹੋ।'

× Are you feeling the many different things with my friends and family, like as food and my books, with my friends in my school time and also in present days?

✓ I share many different things with my friends and family, such as food and books, both during school and now.

Question form is wrong; change to statement matching examiner's question. Remove 'Are you feeling' and 'like as'. Use 'such as' and 'during school and now'. Punjabi (India): 'ਵਾਕ ਰੂਪ ਗਲਤ ਹੈ; ਸਵਾਲ ਦੇ ਅਨੁਸਾਰ ਬਿਆਨ ਦਿਓ: "I share many different things..." përdੋ।'

× Sharing. Sharing are the good habit, but some things are not to be good for sharing, like as toothbrush toothbrush.

✓ Sharing is a good habit, but some things are not good to share, like a toothbrush.

Use singular verb 'is' with uncountable concept 'sharing'; 'toothbrush' should be singular with article 'a' and no repetition. Punjabi (India): '"Sharing" ਇੱਕ ਵਿਸ਼ੇ ਹੈ, ਇਸ ਲਈ "is" ਵਰਤੋ; toothbrush ਨੂੰ ਇਕ ਵਾਰ ਅਤੇ ਆਟਿਕਲ ਨਾਲ ਲਿਖੋ।'

× And the inner clothes because they have to touch individuals individually.

✓ And underwear, because they touch the person directly.

Use correct noun 'underwear' and say 'touch the person' rather than 'touch individuals individually'; avoid redundancy. Punjabi (India): 'ਗਲਤ ਪ੍ਰਭਾਵ ਅਤੇ ਰਿਪੀਟ ਕੀਤਾ ਗਿਆ ਹੈ; "underwear" ਅਤੇ "touch the person directly" ਕਹੋ।'

× Yes, in the last month I have to share the my watch with my friends because when I have to ready for the occasions, so my friend told to me for the boy.

✓ Yes, last month I shared my watch with my friend because when I was getting ready for an occasion, my friend offered it to me.

Use past tense for a completed action 'last month'; remove unnecessary 'have to'; correct article usage and verb forms: 'shared', 'was getting ready', 'offered it to me'. Punjabi (India): 'ਪਿਛਲੇ ਮਹੀਨੇ ਦੀ ਘਟਨਾ ਲਈ past tense (shared) ਵਰਤੋ; "have to" ਹਟਾਓ ਅਤੇ ਵਾਕ ਸਧਾਰਨ ਕਰੋ।'

× So I hear that that was with my friends on that time.

✓ So I remember that I was with my friends at that time.

Use 'remember' instead of 'hear' for recollection, 'was with my friends' and preposition 'at that time'. Punjabi (India): 'ਯਾਦ ਕਰਨ ਲਈ "remember" ਵਰਤੋ, ਅਤੇ "at that time" ਨੂੰ ਸਹੀ ਪ੍ਰੀਪੋਜ਼ੀਸ਼ਨ ਬਣਾਓ।'

× In my life that first person is my sister 'cause I really faith and confident to share the any things with her because they always get it and given the better.

✓ The first person I would share good news with is my sister because I really trust and am confident sharing anything with her; she always understands and gives good advice.

Replace 'faith' with 'trust', use correct adjective/adverb pairing 'am confident', fix pronouns 'she' not 'they', and use appropriate verbs 'understands' and 'gives good advice'. Punjabi (India): '"faith" ਦੀ ਜਗ੍ਹਾ "trust" ਅਤੇ ਸਰਵਨਾਮ 'she' ਵਰਤੋ; ਫ੍ਰੇਜ਼ ਨੂੰ ਸਪਸ਼ਟ ਕਰੋ: "she always understands and gives good advice"।'

× I think in my friends are very good and I discussed the many conversation with my friends in the daily routine.

✓ I think my friends are very good and I have many conversations with them in my daily routine.

Remove unnecessary 'in' before 'my friends', use 'have many conversations with them' and present simple for routines. Punjabi (India): '"in my friends" ਗਲਤ ਹੈ; "I have many conversations with them" ਅਤੇ ਰੂਟੀਨ ਲਈ simple present ਵਰਤੋ।'

× I discussed the funniest moment in the whole day with my friends in the evening time, so I have to spend the some quality time.

✓ I discuss the funniest moments of the day with my friends in the evening, so I spend some quality time with them.

For habitual actions use present simple 'discuss' and plural 'moments'; remove extra 'the' and 'the some'; use 'spend some quality time with them'. Punjabi (India): 'ਆਦਤ ਲਈ present simple ਵਰਤੋ, ਬਹੁਵਚਨ ਅਤੇ articles ਸਹੀ ਕਰੋ: "discuss the funniest moments... I spend some quality time with them"।' }]}{