Sharing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 用更自然和准确的表达并修正语法错误，避免重复。回答要有主题句并用一两句具体细节支持。可以把“shearing”改为“sharing”，把“for this”改为“because of that”，并删去重复的短句。

例: Yes, my parents taught me to share when I was a child. They believed sharing is an important quality and often encouraged me to give things to others because it builds kindness and strengthens friendships. For example, they asked me to offer snacks to classmates if someone forgot theirs.

提案: 句子需更简洁、避免重复与填充词，使用具体例子说明何时会分享，何时不会。可用连接词（but, because）使逻辑更清晰。

例: I usually share everyday items with my friends, such as snacks or stationery, because it makes us feel closer. However, I wouldn't share personal valuables like my expensive phone or jewelry because they are fragile and costly to replace.

提案: 注意语法（名词复数、时态）和措辞（will broke → might get broken）。可补充原因并用连接词增强条理性。

例: Items that are not suitable for sharing are personal valuables, such as my phone or jewelry, because they are expensive and easy to damage. For instance, a phone could be dropped or lost if someone else borrows it.

提案: 说法要更自然，避免重复词（is is），并给出具体细节说明你分享了什么、与谁分享以及结果。使用一两句举例支持观点。

例: Yes, recently I shared snacks and small gifts with my classmates for Christmas. We exchanged cookies and inexpensive presents, which made the classroom atmosphere friendly and everyone felt appreciated.

提案: 需要更清晰、礼貌地表达原因，避免含混和拼写错误（Campos？）。给出直接主题句并用一两句具体理由支持，如信任、共同经历。

例: I would first tell my close friend because we trust each other and share similar experiences. For example, when I succeed at school, she understands the effort behind it and celebrates with me more enthusiastically than my parents might.

提案: 要使用主句+支持句的结构，修正语法（friends are the same age），並给具体例子说明分享的新闻类型（成绩、活动、兴趣）。避免重复“same”。

例: I usually share school-related news with my friends, such as exam results, upcoming events, or projects, because we are the same age and have similar interests. For instance, I often tell them about a good test score or a fun club activity we can join together.

× They think shearing is a really nice personality and they want me to be a cheerful person for this.

✓ They think sharing is a really nice trait and they want me to be a cheerful person because of that.

原句中使用了错误的名词和搭配：'shearing' 应为 'sharing'，且 'personality' 用法不当，描述特质时更常用 'trait'；'for this' 表达不自然，应改为 'because of that'。建议学习常见名词搭配（sharing a trait，a cheerful person because of that）。

× They always tell me. They always tell me that I have to share my things with others.

✓ They always tell me that I have to share my things with others.

两句重复导致冗余，应合并为一句完整表述。建议避免重复表达，把相关信息合并在同一句中以保持连贯。

× This can let me feel warm and let others feel warm.

✓ This makes me feel warm and makes others feel warm.

动词搭配不自然：英文中常用 'make someone feel ...' 而不是 'let someone feel ...'；此外前后重复 'let' 可用 'makes' 简化。建议使用固定搭配 'makes me/others feel ...'。

× I like to share almost everything to my friends because sharing can bring me and others both feel happy and warm.

✓ I like to share almost everything with my friends because sharing can make both me and others feel happy and warm.

介词错误：应使用 'share ... with someone' 而不是 'share ... to someone'；动词结构也应为 'make ... feel' 而非 'bring ... feel'。建议记住 'share with' 的固定搭配，并用 'make ... feel' 表示使人感到。

× But sometimes I won't share.

✓ But sometimes I don't share.

这里描述习惯性或现在常发生的情况，应使用一般现在时 'don't share' 而不是 'won't'（表示将来意愿或拒绝）。建议区分一般现在时和 will 的用法：表示习惯用一般现在时。

× Like something is really expensive or really or really umm, just like really expensive and I won't share.

✓ For example, if something is really expensive, I won't share it.

原句结构混乱、重复啰嗦，应使用更简洁的条件句 'if something is...' 并补上宾语 'it'。建议说话时先组织好句子结构，避免重复填充词。

× Something that is really expensive for personal items such as my phone or jewelry because they are valuable and I prefer to keep them safe.

✓ Items that are really expensive and personal, such as my phone or jewelry, are not suitable for sharing because they are valuable and I prefer to keep them safe.

原句缺乏主语和谓语，且 'for personal items' 用法不当。应改为完整句子并把定语前置或用逗号分隔。建议确保句子包含主语和谓语，名词短语位置正确。

× Sharing this to others maybe will broke them.

✓ Sharing these with others might break them.

动词形式和助动词使用错误：'maybe will broke' 不正确，应用 'might break' 或 'may break'；'broke' 是过去式，应用原形 'break' 跟在情态动词后。并且介词应为 'with'。建议学习情态动词后接动词原形的规则，以及 'may/might' 的用法。

× Yes, I do, because nowadays is is Christmas and sharing is a really important thing in such a festival.

✓ Yes, I do, because nowadays it is Christmas and sharing is really important during such festivals.

多余重复 'is is' 应删去；'a really important thing' 不自然，可改为 'really important'；'in such a festival' 更自然为 'during such festivals'。建议注意主系表结构和介词搭配。

× So I think sharing my snacks and some gifts to others can make both of them happy.

✓ So I think sharing my snacks and some gifts with others can make both me and them happy.

介词应为 'share ... with ...'；'both of them' 指代不清，改为 'both me and them' 更明确。建议使用清晰的代词并注意 'share with' 的搭配。

× My close friend because sometimes if I share something to my parents they will think that it is my fault or the news I don't have to hear about.

✓ My close friend, because sometimes if I share something with my parents they will think it is my fault or that they don't need to hear the news.

介词应为 'share ... with ...'；原句中 'the news I don't have to hear about' 结构混乱，应改为 'they don't need to hear the news'。建议理清从句并使用正确的从句连接和介词。

× So sharing good news to my close friend Campos make me and her feel happy because she is at the same age as me.

✓ So sharing good news with my close friend Campos makes her and me happy because she is the same age as me.

介词应为 'with'，主谓一致 'makes'（单数主语 'sharing'）；代词顺序习惯为 'her and me'，并用 'the same age as me' 更自然。建议注意主谓一致和代词顺序。

× I would like to share something in school to my friends because usually my friends is as the same age as me so we have the similar hobbies and interests and she is also a middle school student so we have the common so we have the same thing to talk about.

✓ I would like to share things about school with my friends because usually my friends are the same age as me, so we have similar hobbies and interests. She is also a middle school student, so we have common topics to talk about.

多个问题：'share ... with' 介词错误，'friends is' 主谓不一致，应为 'friends are'（主语复数），'as the same age' 冗余，应为 'the same age'，'the similar' 冠词多余，句子过长应分句。建议注意主谓一致、冠词使用和分句连接，使句子更清晰。