Sharing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Reduce hesitations and repetition. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific examples using linking words. Keep it within 3–4 sentences and avoid repeating the same point.

例: Yes. My parents taught me to share from a young age. For example, they encouraged me to offer snacks to neighborhood children and to express my opinions kindly during family discussions, which helped me become more generous and considerate.

提案: Finish your sentences and use linking words to structure your answer. State your main idea clearly, then give a specific example and a brief reason. Avoid filler sounds and incomplete endings.

例: I prefer to share knowledge and ideas because they have a lasting impact. For instance, I often explain work techniques to colleagues, which helps them improve their performance and saves time in the long run.

提案: Use precise vocabulary and correct nouns; avoid long pauses and repetition. Give one clear topic sentence and list two specific examples with a short explanation using linking words.

例: I think personal hygiene items should not be shared because they can spread germs. For example, you should not share towels or toothbrushes, since this increases the risk of infections.

提案: Be concise and avoid unnecessary hesitation. State what you shared, give a specific example of the advice, and explain the result briefly using linking words like “for example” or “as a result.”

例: Yes, recently I shared time-management tips with a junior colleague. For example, I showed them how to prioritize tasks using a simple checklist, and as a result they became more organized and met deadlines more consistently.

提案: Answer directly and avoid filler words. Give one or two specific reasons and an example of a recent time you shared news with that person to make your answer more vivid.

例: I would tell my mother first because she always supports and celebrates my achievements. For instance, when I received a promotion last year, I called her immediately and she was the first to congratulate me.

提案: Be specific and organized: start with a topic sentence, then give two clear examples of topics and explain why you discuss them. Remove filler words and use linking phrases like “for example” and “because.”

例: These days my friends and I mostly share economic news because it affects our daily life. For example, we discuss exchange rates and inflation so we can plan budgets and make better financial decisions.

× I think, uh, they want to make me more generous and they wanted to make me more generous and.

✓ I think they wanted to make me more generous.

The sentence mixes present and past tense and repeats the idea. Use past tense 'wanted' to match 'as I remember' and remove redundancy. Also remove extra conjunction 'and' at the end.

× sharing our knowledge or our perspective or, uh, our ideas, uh, can have a more positive effect on others life

✓ sharing our knowledge, perspectives, or ideas can have a more positive effect on others' lives

Use plural for countable nouns (perspectives) and possessive apostrophe for 'others' (others' lives). Also remove redundant commas and 'uh' for clarity.

× than for example, sharing our cars or, uh, this, uh, material things, uh, because, uh, when we share our, uh.

✓ For example, sharing cars or other material things is less beneficial, because...

Sentence is fragmented and has incorrect article 'this material things'. Use 'other material things' and complete the clause. Maintain subject-verb agreement ('sharing ... is').

× some things, uh, that, uh, is private

✓ some things that are private

'Things' is plural, so the verb must be plural 'are' not 'is'.

× some, uh, things that are related to our, to our hygiene, for example, our tower, uh, our, uh, brush and other things

✓ things that are related to our hygiene, for example, our towel, toothbrush, and similar items

Pronoun repetition 'our, to our' is redundant. Use correct words: 'towel' and 'toothbrush' instead of 'tower' and 'brush'. Use parallel list structure and 'similar items' to finish.

× Do you have anything to share with others recently?

✓ Have you shared anything with others recently?

When asking about a recent past action, use present perfect 'have you shared' rather than 'do you have ... recently'.

× I always, uh, try to, uh, share my knowledge, uh, at workplace with my colleagues, uh, because, uh, I have more experience, uh, than them

✓ I always try to share my knowledge at the workplace with my colleagues because I have more experience than they do

Use article 'the workplace'. Use comparative structure 'more experience than they do' (avoid object pronoun 'them' after 'than' or include auxiliary 'do'). Remove filler words.

× I usually, uh, shared the good news with my mother at first place.

✓ I usually share good news with my mother first

Habitual action should use present tense 'share' not past 'shared'. 'At first place' is unnatural; use 'first'.

× my mother, uh, usually, uh, appreciate, uh, my improvement and advancement.

✓ my mother usually appreciates my improvement and progress

Use third person singular 'appreciates'. 'Advancement' is awkward here; 'progress' is more natural. Remove filler words.

× we uh, usually, uh, share the news about economic, about the prices of dollar or about, uh, for example, uh, inflation rate and other things.

✓ we usually share news about the economy, the price of the dollar, the inflation rate, and other related topics

Use noun 'economy' not adjective 'economic'. Use 'the price of the dollar' or 'exchange rate'. Use parallel list structure and appropriate articles. Remove filler words.