Sharing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve clarity and grammar: start with a direct topic sentence answering the question, avoid hesitations, correct tense and pronouns, and give one or two specific examples. Keep it under five sentences and use linking words like ‘because’ or ‘for example’.

例: Yes. My parents taught me to share when I was a child because they believed it was important to be kind. For example, I often shared my school notebooks with classmates and sometimes shared snacks during breaktime.

提案: Be specific and concise: answer directly, then list two or three typical items with a brief reason. Use linking words such as ‘and’ or ‘also’ and avoid unclear phrases. Use correct word forms (e.g., ‘experiences’).

例: I like to share practical things such as food and study materials. I also share my experiences and tips about exams with friends because it helps them prepare better.

提案: Clarify the main idea and correct logical errors: state directly which items are unsuitable, give a reason, and use correct connectors. Avoid double negatives and ensure the conclusion matches the reason.

例: Personal items like underwear and sometimes clothing are not suitable for sharing because they can cause skin irritation or spread infections. Therefore I avoid sharing such items with others.

提案: Use correct tense and provide a brief context: answer briefly, then give one clear recent example with reason. Remove repeated words and use past tense when appropriate.

例: Yes. Recently I lent a rubber band to my sister-in-law because she forgot to bring one when she needed it to tie her hair.

提案: Answer directly and fluently: state the person clearly (e.g., my mother), then give a brief reason why you would share with them first. Avoid filler words and repetitions.

例: The first person I would share good news with is my mother because she is very supportive and always shares in my happiness.

提案: Be specific and correct vocabulary: say what types of news you share (e.g., academic, job opportunities, events). Avoid unrelated or incorrect words like ‘aspirin’ and use linking words to connect ideas.

例: I usually share educational news and useful opportunities with my friends, such as scholarship information or upcoming workshops that might interest them.

× He asked for Naive was a child.

✓ He asked if Naive was a child.

The original sentence lacks the correct connector for an indirect question. Use 'if' to introduce a yes/no reported question: 'He asked if Naive was a child.' This makes the sentence grammatically complete and clear.

× My parents helped me uh through sharing with others because it is a good deed and I used to share my uh twice notebooks with my friends and food with myself.

✓ My parents taught me to share with others because it is a good deed, and I used to share my two notebooks with my friends and my food with them.

Several issues: 'helped me through sharing' is awkward; 'taught me to share' is appropriate. 'twice notebooks' is incorrect — use the numeral word 'two notebooks' (singular/plural and quantifier). 'food with myself' is incorrect pronoun use; use 'with them' or 'with my friends'. Clarify punctuation by splitting clauses.

× To be a nest, I used to share my many things like food, notebooks, experience with others and still I share my these things with my near and the events.

✓ To be honest, I used to share many things, like food, notebooks, and experiences with others, and I still share these things with people nearby and at events.

'To be a nest' is a mispronunciation of 'To be honest.' 'my many things' is incorrect quantifier/pronoun order; use 'many things.' 'experience' should be plural when general ('experiences'). 'my these things' is wrong word order; use 'these things.' 'my near and the events' is unclear; 'people nearby and at events' communicates the intended meaning.

× I think the important thing which is not suitable for sharing these clothes because some people have a skin allergy, that's why we can share clothes with others.

✓ I think important things that are not suitable for sharing are clothes because some people have skin allergies, so we should not share clothes with others.

Pronoun and clause structure errors: the clause order is wrong. Use 'things that are not suitable for sharing' and make 'clothes' the subject. 'skin allergy' should be pluralized to 'skin allergies' in general. The concluding clause should state the result clearly: 'so we should not share clothes.'

× Yes, recently I share my rubber band with my sister-in-law because of because she forgot to bring.

✓ Yes, recently I shared my rubber band with my sister-in-law because she forgot to bring one.

The time adverb 'recently' prefers the present perfect or simple past; here past simple 'shared' is appropriate. Remove duplicate 'because of' and complete the clause with 'one' to refer to a rubber band. This corrects tense and completes the sentence.

× Take first person is from, from my family, which is my who is my mother? I always love to share everything, uh, with my mother.

✓ The first person I would share good news with is someone from my family, my mother. I always love to share everything with her.

The original has jumbled word order and an unnecessary question mark. Use a clear subject-verb structure: 'The first person I would share good news with is my mother.' Then use the pronoun 'her' to avoid repetition. Remove filler hesitations in the corrected sentence.

× I share many news with my friends like which is important for them like educational news and aspirin.

✓ I share a lot of news with my friends that is important to them, such as educational news and announcements.

'Many news' is incorrect because 'news' is uncountable; use 'a lot of news' or 'much news.' 'Like which is important for them like' is redundant and ungrammatical; use 'that is important to them.' 'Aspirin' is likely a wrong word choice; 'announcements' fits the context of news. Use 'such as' to give examples.