Sharing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 注意时态和主谓一致，避免用词错误和拼写错误（例如 encourage → encouraged； geniuses → generosity）。回答要更直接，用一到两句主题句表示“是的”，然后用一到两句具体细节支持，并控制在最多5句。可使用连接词如“because”或“so”。

例: Yes. My parents taught me to share snacks and toys when I was a child. I shared often because it made me happy and helped me make closer friends, so I learned to be generous.

提案: 答案重复且有语法/缺词错误（例如“my and toys”不完整），避免重复前一问题的内容。先直接回答喜欢分享的物品类型（例如食物、书籍、经验），再用具体原因或例子支持。使用连接词如“for example”或“because”以增强连贯性。

例: I usually like to share food and books with others. For example, I often bring snacks to work and lend interesting novels to my friends because sharing helps us bond and start conversations.

提案: 总体表达清楚且有具体原因，但注意小的语言问题（例如“another items”应为“other items”）。可以补充一两种其他不适合分享的物品并用连接词列举，使回答更完整且符合结构要求。

例: I wouldn't share my phone because it contains personal messages, photos and banking apps, which risks my privacy. I also think things like medicines or personal IDs are unsuitable to share for safety and legal reasons.

提案: 注意时态一致和词汇搭配（例如“we add it together”应为“we shared/eaten it together”；“had happened”可改为“had happened recently”或简单过去）。回答要更具体：说明和谁分享、场合以及感受。使用连接词如“so”或“then”增强逻辑。

例: Yes. Recently I bought a strawberry cake and shared it with two close friends. We ate the cake while hanging out and talking about recent events, so we felt relaxed and had a great time.

提案: 观点明确并有例子，但注意语法（例如“she really understand me”→“she really understands me”；“She always being”→“She is always”；“when I got last job offer”→“when I got my last job offer”）。可稍微精简并保持句子数在5句内。

例: I would tell my sister first because we are close and she understands me. She is always very supportive and genuinely excited when good things happen, so she was the first to celebrate when I got my last job offer.

提案: 内容清晰且有具体例子，但有小错误和不自然表达（例如“celebrate this moment with dance”不合常理，可改为“celebrate together”或“dance together”）。注意主谓一致（“which help”→“which helps”或改为独立句）。用连接词如“for example”或“also”保持连贯。

例: I usually share good personal news, such as winning a prize or reaching a work milestone, because I want to celebrate with friends. I also forward funny or interesting articles to make them laugh and keep in touch, which helps maintain our close relationship.

× When I was a child, my parents told me to share my snacks and toys with my sister and friends. I often share because it made me happy and encourage you closer friendships. So I learned the importance of geniuses.

✓ When I was a child, my parents told me to share my snacks and toys with my sister and friends. I often shared because it made me happy and encouraged me to build closer friendships. So I learned the importance of generosity.

句子中时态不一致：第一句用过去时（told），而第二句开头应与之保持过去时（shared）。此外，encourage 后需用过去式 encouraged 并接宾语 me to build closer friendships。最后 geniuses 用词错误，应为 generosity（慷慨）。改进建议：保持叙述时态一致，遇到过去的习惯或经历使用过去时，并注意搭配与单词选择。

× When I was a child, my parents taught me to share my and toys with my sister and friends. I often shared because it made me happy and helped me build closer friendships. So I learned the importance of generosity.

✓ When I was a child, my parents taught me to share my snacks and toys with my sister and friends. I often shared because it made me happy and helped me build closer friendships. So I learned the importance of generosity.

原句中缺少名词，'share my and toys' 结构不完整，应补上缺失的名词（snacks）。改进建议：写句子时检查并确保并列名词完整且并列词语一致。

× Compared with another items, a phone is especially unsuitable for sharing since it risks my privacy and security.

✓ Compared with other items, a phone is especially unsuitable for sharing since it risks my privacy and security.

使用错误的限定词：'another items' 既混用了单数another与复数items。应使用 other items 或 another item（取决于单复数）。改进建议：确定名词是单数还是复数，再选择合适的限定词。

× Yes, I share something with my friends. Recently I bought a strawberry cake and we add it together, hang out and talk about some interesting things that had happened. We felt really relaxed and enjoyed ourselves.

✓ Yes, I shared something with my friends. Recently I bought a strawberry cake and we ate it together, hung out and talked about some interesting things that had happened. We felt really relaxed and enjoyed ourselves.

时态和动词形式错误：回答描述的是最近发生的过去事件，主句应使用过去时（shared）。'add it together' 用词不当，应为 ate it together；并列动词需用过去式 hung, talked 与前文时态一致。改进建议：叙述过去事件时统一使用过去时，注意常见动词的正确选择。

× My sister is the first person I will tell because we are close in age and she really understand me. She always being very supportive and get generally excited when good things happen to me. So I prefer to share my happy news with her first. For example, when I got last job offer, she was first to celebrate with me.

✓ My sister is the first person I would tell because we are close in age and she really understands me. She is always very supportive and generally gets excited when good things happen to me. So I prefer to share my happy news with her first. For example, when I got my last job offer, she was the first to celebrate with me.

多个问题：'will tell' 在这种情境下用 would 或一般现在时更自然；'understand' 与主语不一致，第三人称单数需加 s → understands；'being very supportive' 非谓语位置错误，应为 is always very supportive；'get generally excited' 词序和形式错误，应为 generally gets excited；'got last job offer' 缺少冠词 my 和序数成分，且 'the first to celebrate' 需加定冠词 the。改进建议：注意人称与动词一致（第三人称单数加 s），常用表达使用正确的助动词（would 更委婉），并检查冠词使用。

× I often share good personal news with my friends, for example when I win a prize or reach a milestone at work, because I want to celebrate this moment with dance. I also forward humorous or interesting articles to make them laugh and keep in touch, which help our relationship stay close.

✓ I often share good personal news with my friends, for example when I win a prize or reach a milestone at work, because I want to celebrate the moment by dancing. I also forward humorous or interesting articles to make them laugh and keep in touch, which helps our relationship stay close.

介词和动名词使用错误：'celebrate this moment with dance' 应用介词短语 by dancing 或 with a dance（更自然用 by dancing）。此外，which 指代前句主语时，谓语需与主语一致，help → helps。改进建议：学习常见动词短语的搭配（celebrate by doing），并注意关系代词从句的主谓一致。