Sharing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 语法与时态不够准确，存在冗余停顿（如“uh”）和重复表达。回答应更自然地使用过去时和简洁结构，尽量控制在最多五句内，并用连接词使句子更流畅。具体可改正动词时态（encouraged, reminded），删去多余填充词，并把文化观点整理成一句支持细节。

例: Yes. My parents encouraged me to share toys and snacks when I was little. I remember bringing candies to kindergarten once, and my mother reminded me to give some to my classmates. In Chinese culture sharing is important, so most parents I know teach their children to be generous.

提案: 总体表达清楚，但存在重复词（"help help"）和可扩展的细节。建议在主题句后用一两个具体例子并用连接词（such as, for instance）衔接，提高连贯性与词汇多样性。保持句子简短自然。

例: I usually share food and interesting experiences. For instance, if I discover a great restaurant, I’ll recommend it to my friends, and I often share study tips because they can help others improve their grades.

提案: 回答口语化且有重复（多次使用like），并含有非必要插入句（关于开放关系）。建议直接陈述观点，改正缩写与非正式表达（wanna→don’t want to），列举具体例子时用并列短句并用连接词（for example, such as）。避免偏题内容。

例: I don’t think personal relationships or personal hygiene items should be shared. For example, you shouldn’t share a partner, toothbrushes, makeup, or your bank card because these are private and can cause problems.

提案: 回答含糊，有语法错误和不连贯词（"CHA", "excellent"用法不当）。建议先给主题句（I’ve recently moved），接着用两三个具体变化或感受作为支持细节，用连接词（for example, because）使表达清晰。避免无意义的停顿和缩写词。

例: I recently moved to a new city, so I’ve been sharing life updates with my friends and family. For example, I told them about my new job, the neighbourhood I live in, and the challenges of finding my way around.

提案: 回答重复严重且句子结构混乱（重复单词、逻辑不清）。建议开门见山给出一个人（parents or a specific friend），然后简短说明原因并用连接词（because, so）支持。避免语气词和重复。

例: I would share good news with my parents first because they are always supportive and celebrate my achievements, which makes me feel that even small successes are meaningful.

提案: 回答中有大量重复和填充词，句子缺乏精简与逻辑。建议用一到两句概括主要内容，再列举两个具体例子，用连接词（for example, such as）增加条理。注意去掉重复词语。

例: I share all kinds of news with my friends, mostly small and fun things. For example, I tell them about new cafés I discover, interesting city events, or personal achievements.

× Yeah, my parents are often encouraged me to share toys, uh, snacks with my friends when I was little.

✓ Yeah, my parents often encouraged me to share toys and snacks with my friends when I was little.

原句中使用了“are often encouraged”這個現在被動式，但句子描述的是過去的經驗，應使用過去式主動語態。建議使用簡單過去“often encouraged”。此外將“to share toys, uh, snacks”簡化為“to share toys and snacks”更自然。

× I remember once I brought actual candies to kindergarten and my mom remind me to give some to classmates.

✓ I remember once I brought actual candies to kindergarten and my mom reminded me to give some to classmates.

句子前半為過去時（"brought"），後半“remind”應與之時態一致改為過去式“reminded”。保持時態一致能使敘述清晰。

× Sharing is a big thing in China, Chinese culture, so I think most parents would encourage.

✓ Sharing is a big thing in Chinese culture, so I think most parents would encourage it.

原句中“China, Chinese culture”混用並且缺少賓語“it”。應使用“in Chinese culture”來表達“在中國文化中”，並補上代詞“it”表示鼓勵分享這件事。注意冠詞和名詞搭配以提高語法正確性。

× I like to share food or interesting experiences.

✓ I like sharing food or interesting experiences.

兩種表達都可以，但題目語境常用動名詞“sharing”來表示習慣性行為，使用“like sharing”更自然。這屬於現在時用法的微調建議。

× For example, if I try a nice restaurant, I will tell my friends about it.

✓ For example, if I try a nice restaurant, I will tell my friends about it.

此句語法正確，保留原句。條件句使用現在時（if I try）與未來時（I will）搭配正確，因此不需要修改。

× I also enjoy sharing study tips because they might really help help other people.

✓ I also enjoy sharing study tips because they might really help other people.

主要錯誤是重複“help help”。刪去重複詞即可。句子結構和時態正確，不需改動其他部分。

× I mean, you can't share your boyfriend or girlfriend, right?

✓ I mean, you can't share your boyfriend or girlfriend, right?

此句語法和代詞使用正確，保持原句。語境為一般陳述，使用“you”作泛指恰當。

× No judgment if you are in an open relationship.

✓ No judgment if you are in an open relationship.

句子為簡短口語表達，語法可接受，保持原句。若要求更完整可改為“There's no judgment if you are in an open relationship.” 但原句不違反所列問題類型。

× But personally I think I don't wanna share about that other things like like personal items like toothbrushes, makeup or bank card.

✓ But personally I think I don't want to share other things like personal items such as toothbrushes, makeup, or my bank card.

原句中口語縮寫“wanna”應改為正式寫法“want to”。“share about that other things”結構不自然，應改為“share other things”或“share about”二擇一。重複“like like”要刪除，並用“such as”列舉更清楚；“bank card”前加所有格“my”更自然。這涉及現在分詞及詞序調整以符合書面語。

× Well, actually I have moved into a new city and my life has changed.

✓ Well, actually I moved to a new city and my life has changed.

“have moved”用現在完成式也可，但在口語敘述中說明“我已經搬到一個新城市並且生活改變”用簡單過去“moved to”更貼合已完成的具體行為。此處也將“moved into a new city”改為更常見的“moved to a new city”。兩者都可，但為保持時態一致和自然，建議使用簡單過去。

× Yeah, there are different.

✓ Yeah, things are different.

原句“there are different”結構不完整，缺少被修飾的名詞。應補上“things”或其他名詞，形成完整句子。這屬於句子結構錯誤。

× There are a lot of CHA challenges as well as excellent that I want to share with my friends and family.

✓ There are a lot of challenges as well as some great experiences that I want to share with my friends and family.

原句中“CHA”不明且“excellent”用法不當需名詞化。將“excellent”改為“great experiences”使語義明確。調整詞類以符合句子結構。

× So just my life updates.

✓ So, just my life updates.

句子是口語片語，為了書面完整可加逗號“So, just my life updates.” 若要完整句子可改為“I just share my life updates.” 這裡視語境保留簡短回答，並標示為結構簡化。

× Hmm let me think maybe maybe my friend or my parents there are always very supportive and they would celebrate with me so they make me feel like every small every small wing is is worth it for me.

✓ Hmm, let me think. Maybe my friends or my parents — they are always very supportive and would celebrate with me, so they make me feel like every small win is worth it for me.

原句存在重複詞（maybe maybe、every small every small、is is），以及標點和句子分割問題。將句子拆成更清晰的部分並刪除重複，將“wing”更正為“win”。這屬於句子結構和詞彙拼寫錯誤的調整。

× Like everything I I like talking.

✓ I like talking about everything.

原句“Like everything I I like talking.”語序混亂並有重複“I”。應將主語和動詞順序整理為“I like talking about everything.”這是現在時態的語序修正。

× I talk to them all the time.

✓ I talk to them all the time.

此句語法正確，保持原句。表示習慣性動作，現在時使用恰當。

× I often share about some some small things but fun thing like discovering a new new cafe or hearing about a cool event in the city sometimes if I achieve something.

✓ I often share some small but fun things, like discovering a new cafe or hearing about a cool event in the city, and sometimes if I achieve something.

原句有重複詞（some some、new new）且詞序與連接不流暢。刪除重複，調整為“some small but fun things”並用逗號分隔列表。最後把“sometimes if I achieve something”搬到句尾並加連接詞，使語意更清晰。