Sharing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be concise and directly answer the question first, then add one or two supporting points. Correct tense and word choice (teach → taught). Avoid repetition and unnecessary commentary. Use linking words like 'because' or 'so' to explain reasons.

例: Yes, my parents taught me to share when I was a child. For example, they encouraged me to give toys to classmates because it taught me kindness and helped me make friends.

提案: Start with a clear topic sentence stating what you share now, then give 1–2 specific examples. Correct grammar (children's → children; give or shares → give or share). Keep sentences shorter and use linking words like 'also' or 'for example'.

例: I usually share food, clothes and small items with people close to me. For example, I often lend clothes to my sister and share snacks with colleagues at work.

提案: Provide a direct answer and one concise reason. Use correct singular/plural and word forms (bacteria, not bacterias) and avoid redundant phrases. Use linking words like 'because' and 'so' to make it coherent.

例: I think personal items like makeup tools should not be shared because they can transfer bacteria or viruses and cause infections.

提案: Answer briefly and factually, using correct tense (have give → gave). Give one clear example and a short reason. Avoid vague phrases and repetition. Use linking words like 'so' or 'to show' for clarity.

例: Yes. Yesterday I gave my jacket to my mother for a family celebration because I wanted to support her and show I care.

提案: Provide a smooth, fluent answer without fillers. Begin with the name and one clear reason. Avoid hesitations and repetition; use linking words like 'because' to explain why.

例: I'd share good news with my best friend Camilla because she is supportive and non-judgmental, so I always feel comfortable telling her anything.

提案: Be clear about the types of news you share and avoid contradictory or incorrect phrases (obsessed → excited; 'bad skills' unclear). Use 2–3 concise sentences with linking words like 'for example' and 'because'.

例: I share both everyday events and exciting news with my friends. For example, I tell them about new job opportunities or trips because they listen and encourage me.

× My parents teach me to be very grateful and I think it's really part of the upbringing, said Parents should teach their kids to be very grateful and not be arrogant.

✓ My parents taught me to be very grateful, and I think it's really part of upbringing. Parents should teach their kids to be grateful and not arrogant.

The context refers to childhood (past), so verbs should be in the past tense. 'Teach' must become 'taught' to match past time. Also adjust wording and remove redundant 'be' after 'not'. Use commas to separate clauses for clarity.

× In my childhood I used to share my toys with some children's and play together different games.

✓ In my childhood I used to share my toys with other children and play different games together.

'Children's' is a possessive form and incorrect here; use the plural noun 'children'. Word order 'play different games together' is more natural in English.

× Actually right now I'm really kind and I can easily give or shares with my food or my toys and or furthermore with my clothes, which I think is really important.

✓ Actually right now I'm really kind and I can easily give or share my food, my toys, and even my clothes, which I think is really important.

'Give or shares' mixes base form and third person singular; after 'can' use the base verb 'share'. Remove unnecessary 'with' after 'share' when direct object follows. Simplify phrasing for naturalness.

× Well, I would say that sharing makeup tools is really not suitable because it can lead to different bacterias or viruses which a different person can get, can obtain and just share it with you, which I think is really awful and you shouldn't share with it.

✓ Well, I would say that sharing makeup tools is not suitable because it can spread bacteria or viruses to another person, which I think is really gross, so you shouldn't share them.

Use 'bacteria' (plural) rather than 'bacterias' (nonstandard). 'Spread' is more natural than 'lead to'. Replace 'another person can get' with 'to another person'. Use correct pronoun agreement: 'them' for 'tools'. 'Gross' is a clearer adjective than 'awful' in this context.

× Yes, of course it was yesterday. I have give to my mom my jacket for her celebration and of course I can give my clothes to my close people, my family or friends.

✓ Yes, of course, it was yesterday. I gave my jacket to my mom for her celebration, and of course I can give my clothes to close people, like my family or friends.

The action happened in the past so use simple past 'gave' not 'have give'. Word order: 'gave my jacket to my mom' is correct. 'Close people' is better phrased with 'like' to clarify examples.

× It's really easy for me, which I find really important. And it's like a kind of showing you love you caring about the person.

✓ It's really easy for me, which I find important. And it's a way of showing you love and care about the person.

Replace awkward phrasing 'a kind of showing you love you caring' with 'a way of showing you love and care'. Use parallel verbs 'love and care' and correct pronoun usage.

× I, I can name only one person that comes to my mind. My best friend Camilla. She's that kind of a person that can support me anytime that I want.

✓ I can name only one person who comes to mind: my best friend Camilla. She's the kind of person who can support me whenever I need it.

Avoid repetition 'I, I'. Use 'who' for people, not 'that'. 'Whenever I need it' is natural for 'anytime that I want' in this context.

× I can tell her everything and I know that I can wait.

✓ I can tell her everything and I know that I can rely on her.

'Wait' is incorrect here; likely meant 'rely' or 'count on'. Use appropriate verb 'rely on' to express trust.

× Some kind of, uh, some kind of, not judgmental, not judgmental, uh, empathic from her.

✓ She's not judgmental and is very empathetic.

Streamline repetition and use adjectives correctly: 'empathetic' describes a person. Remove disfluent fillers and use clear adjective phrases.

× To be honest, I share everything that occur in my life with my friends.

✓ To be honest, I share everything that occurs in my life with my friends.

'Occur' must agree with singular subject 'everything', so use third-person singular 'occurs'.

× Some really exciting news that I really obsessed with that I want to share with someone and they can listen to me.

✓ Some really exciting news that I'm really excited about and want to share with someone who will listen to me.

Use correct expression 'be excited about' rather than 'obsessed with' (which has a different meaning). 'They can listen' should be 'who will listen' to refer to a person.

× It's I think it's such a bad skills that you can have in your life and that kind of supports it makes you encouraging makes.

✓ I think it's such a useful skill to have in life, and that kind of support makes you feel encouraged.

Original is ungrammatical and confusing. Replace 'bad skills' with 'useful skill' and restructure to make meaning clear: support causes encouragement. Use singular/plural agreement 'skill' and appropriate verbs.