Sharing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Focus on clear, accurate sentences and correct word choices. Start with a direct topic sentence, then give one clear example. Avoid repetition and filler words. Use correct vocabulary (e.g., 'polite' and 'considerate' instead of 'politics and consideration') and simple past tense for past habits ('taught me to share', 'my mother always encouraged me to give snacks to friends').

例: Yes. My parents taught me to share when I was a child because they wanted me to be polite and considerate. For example, my mother always encouraged me to give some of my snacks to classmates, which helped me make friends and learn generosity.

提案: Be concise and correct articles and plurals. Use linking words to connect reasons and examples (e.g., 'because', 'so'). Give a complete example with clear words and avoid broken phrases. Keep within 3–4 sentences.

例: I usually share snacks or small food items with my classmates because sharing helps us socialize and makes break time more enjoyable. For example, last week I brought a homemade cake and offered slices to everyone, which started a lively conversation.

提案: Use precise vocabulary and clear reasons. Correct ungrammatical phrases (e.g., 'liquids', 'spill', 'fragile', 'perishable', 'glass bottles', 'contamination'). Structure: state main idea, then give two specific reasons with examples.

例: I think liquids are often not suitable for sharing because they can spill and create a mess. Also, fragile or perishable items, such as glass bottles or fresh dairy products, should not be shared to avoid breakage or contamination.

提案: Answer directly using simple past for recent actions and correct word order. Remove filler sounds and repeated words. Provide one clear example and a brief reason why you shared.

例: Yes. Last week I shared chocolate with my classmates because it is easy to divide and everyone enjoys it. Sharing the chocolate made our break more pleasant and helped me connect with others.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence naming the person, then briefly explain why. Avoid hesitations and repetition. Use simple, confident language: 'The first person I would tell is my best friend because...'.

例: The first person I would share good news with is my best friend because we are very close and they always support me. For instance, when I passed an exam, I called them first to celebrate.

提案: Be specific about categories of news and use correct verb forms and plurals. Use linking words (for example, 'for example' or 'such as') and give a clear illustrative example. Keep sentences short and coherent.

例: I usually share light and positive news with my friends, such as daily updates or interesting things I find online. For example, I often send a funny short video or a useful life hack because they enjoy entertaining and practical content.

× Definitely when I was a child, my parents taught me to share with my teachers, friends or families because they wanted me to be politics and consideration.

✓ Definitely, when I was a child, my parents taught me to share with my teachers, friends, or family because they wanted me to be polite and considerate.

The original uses incorrect adjectives 'politics' and 'consideration' instead of 'polite' (adjective) and 'considerate' (adjective). Replace nouns with appropriate adjectives to describe a person. Also 'families' should be singular 'family' in this context. Add commas for clarity.

× For example, my mother always incorrect me to give me to give my friends some of my, uh, snack or.

✓ For example, my mother always encouraged me to give some of my snacks to my friends.

The sentence contains wrong verbs and word order. 'Incorrect' is wrong word; 'encouraged' fits the meaning (past). 'Snack' should be plural 'snacks' and word order 'give some of my snacks to my friends' is correct. Remove filler words and fix article usage.

× If I bring snack or other food to class, I usually share them with my classmates and friends because it helps us socialize and then make break time more enjoyable.

✓ If I bring snacks or other food to class, I usually share them with my classmates and friends because it helps us socialize and makes break time more enjoyable.

Use plural 'snacks' when referring generally. Also subject-verb agreement: 'it helps us socialize and makes break time more enjoyable' — match verbs to singular subject 'it' for second clause.

× For example, last week I brought a up cake and everyone tried it One which.

✓ For example, last week I brought a cupcake and everyone tried it.

The original has extra words 'a up' and 'One which' causing ungrammatical structure. 'Cupcake' is the correct noun. Keep sentence simple and complete.

× I think liquid are often not suitable for sharing because they can sleep and make a mist.

✓ I think liquids are often not suitable for sharing because they can spill and make a mess.

Use plural 'liquids'. 'Sleep' and 'mist' are incorrect word choices; likely intended 'spill' and 'mess'. Correct vocabulary to convey meaning.

× Also fragile and freshable items like glass boat or something are better kept to avoid the damage or con contamination.

✓ Also fragile and perishable items like glass bottles or similar things are better kept separately to avoid damage or contamination.

Replace 'freshable' with 'perishable', 'glass boat' with 'glass bottle', and fix article usage. 'Con contamination' is wrong; correct word is 'contamination'. Use 'kept separately' for clarity.

× Eight of the last week wake I share with my chocolate with my for my classmates and friends.

✓ Last week I shared my chocolate with my classmates and friends.

Remove extraneous words 'Eight of the last week wake' and correct verb tense to past 'shared'. Fix word order 'shared my chocolate with my classmates and friends'.

× Uh, you know, the chocolate is very suitable to share for for your friends or classmates.

✓ Uh, you know, chocolate is very suitable to share with your friends or classmates.

Use preposition 'share with' not 'share for'. Also omit unnecessary article 'the' when speaking generally about chocolate and remove duplicate 'for'.

× In my memory, my first person, who are The Who are my neighborhood? I will I I'm alright. Alright, sure, sure is my best friend. I want to share good news with the with.

✓ In my memory, the first person I would share good news with is my best friend from the neighborhood.

Original contains many pronoun and structure errors. Use 'the first person I would share...is' structure. Remove repeated words and unclear fragments. 'My best friend from the neighborhood' is a clear noun phrase.

× I usually share relaxing and positive news with my friends such as daily life updates and interesting thing I find online.

✓ I usually share relaxing and positive news with my friends, such as daily life updates and interesting things I find online.

Use plural 'things' to match 'interesting'. Add comma for clarity. The gerund/participle forms are fine; fix noun number.

× For example, I often said a light story, helpful tip or short form videos because I know them enjoy light entertaining content.

✓ For example, I often share light stories, helpful tips, or short-form videos because I know they enjoy light, entertaining content.

Use present tense 'share' instead of past 'said' to match habitual action. Use plural nouns 'stories' and 'tips'. Replace 'short form videos' with 'short-form videos' and correct pronoun 'they' instead of 'them'. Add comma between 'light' and 'entertaining'.