Sharing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 在回答中注意句子结构和语法错误，避免重复和无意义的填充词（如“Mm-hmm”）。开头应直接用主题句，然后用一两句具体例子支持观点，句子不超过五句。可以改进时态和冠词的使用（a easy → an easy），并减少冗余表达。

例: Yes. My parents taught me that sharing is an important quality and helps you make friends. For example, when I was young they encouraged me to share toys with classmates, which helped me build friendships at school.

提案: 回答应更具体并改善语法与词序，去掉频繁的停顿词（uh）和重复。用连贯的衔接词（for example, such as, because）使句子更自然。注意介词和搭配（share with, roommate而非 door mates）。

例: I like to share food and happy moments with others. For instance, my mother often sends local dishes from my hometown, and I share them with my roommates, which makes everyone very happy.

提案: 内容正确但表达需更清晰、连贯。避免语法错误和不完整句子，使用连接词（for example, so）并给出具体例子。改进代词和时态（their own information, tell a third person）。

例: I believe personal belongings and private information should not be shared. For example, if a friend confides in you, telling a third person would be disrespectful and could damage trust.

提案: 回答要用自然的时态和更规范的表达，避免混合现在进行与过去时。去掉口语填充（OK?）。给出具体细节（什么时候、向谁、通过什么方式）。

例: Yes. Before the exam I shared my concerns with friends on WeChat, discussing revision strategies. I also recently shared my opinion about this topic with them online.

提案: 此回答非常含糊且断断续续。应先给出直接答案（e.g., my mother or my best friend），然后用一两句具体原因支持，避免重复和无意义填充词。保持句子简洁连贯。

例: I would tell my best friend first because she always listens and celebrates my successes genuinely. She knows me well and responds with honest enthusiasm.

提案: 回答需更准确的词汇（entertainment news, celebrity gossip），并改善句子结构與流畅性。避免重复和口头禅，提供具体例子说明哪些新闻（movies, concerts, local events）。

例: I usually share entertainment news, like new movies or celebrity gossip, with my friends. We also exchange local updates, such as upcoming events or things happening around our neighborhood.

× Of course, my parents always taught me about sharing is a great quality of a person and it is a easy way to make more friends, so I always remember their lessons, their words. Mm-hmm.

✓ Of course, my parents always taught me that sharing is a great quality in a person and it is an easy way to make more friends, so I always remember their lessons and their words.

问题类型：动词+ -ing 形式（8）。原句中 “taught me about sharing is...” 的结构不正确。应使用 ‘‘taught me that ...’’ 来引导宾语从句，或改为动名词短语作宾语（例如：taught me about sharing）。另外，‘a easy’ 冠词与形容词搭配错误，应为 ‘an easy’；‘quality of a person’ 更自然为 ‘quality in a person’；并把并列部分用 and 连接。建议：学习宾语从句和动名词用法，注意元音开头单词前用 an。

× I will share lots of things, for example, my food or my, uh, happiness. Uh, I always share my food for to my door mates. My mom sometimes will uh, send local food from my hometown and all. I always share to my door mates and they will very pleasant.

✓ I share lots of things, for example, my food or my happiness. I always share my food with my dormmates. My mom sometimes sends local food from my hometown. I always share with my dormmates and they are very pleased.

问题类型：介词使用不正确（11）。原句中多次使用不正确的介词：应使用 share something with someone（与某人分享），而不是 share ... to。‘door mates’ 应为 ‘dormmates’（宿舍同伴）。‘they will very pleasant’ 语法和词性错误，需用形容词 pleased 描述人的感受并与系动词连用（are pleased）。建议：记住常见动词与固定介词搭配（share with），并区分形容词/副词及被动/主动表达。

× I think the private items and private information cannot be shared. For example, if someone tells her tells their own information and you told the third person, that's mean you disrespect the.

✓ I think private items and private information should not be shared. For example, if someone tells you their personal information and you tell a third person, that means you disrespect them.

问题类型：代词使用不正确（12）。原句中 ‘someone tells her tells their own information’ 表达混乱，代词指代不清且有重复；‘you told the third person’ 时态和形式也不一致，且最后的 ‘the’ 后缺宾语。改为 ‘someone tells you their personal information’（某人告诉你他们的隐私），并用 ‘tell a third person’（告诉第三者），结尾用 ‘disrespect them’ 指代前面的 someone。建议：注意代词的一致性和明确指代，保持人称和数的统一。

× Of course, before the exam beginning, I am sharing my concern to my friends through the WeChat. Even now I'm sharing my own opinion of the topic, OK?

✓ Of course, before the exam began, I shared my concerns with my friends through WeChat. Even now I'm sharing my own opinion about the topic.

问题类型：现在时/时态使用不当（6）。原句混用不同时态和不自然的进行时：‘before the exam beginning’ 应为过去时间状语结构（before the exam began / before the exam started）；对于过去发生的动作应使用一般过去时（I shared）。此外，share 的介词应为 with，‘through the WeChat’ 更自然为 ‘through WeChat’ 或 ‘on WeChat’，‘opinion of the topic’ 更常用 ‘opinion about the topic’。建议：梳理时间状语与动词时态的一致性，使用恰当介词短语。

× Because she will always wait there for me to hear my, uh, different emotions and if I tell her something. Uh, if I tell her good news, she will, she will. Happy for me genuinely. Mm-hmm. So it was, uh, it, it will, uh, it is, uh.

✓ Because she will always be there to listen to my different emotions when I tell her something. If I tell her good news, she will be genuinely happy for me.

问题类型：代词使用不正确/句子结构（12/26）。原句中 ‘wait there for me to hear my...’ 表达不当，应为 ‘be there to listen to ...’（在场倾听）；多处断句和语序混乱，缺少系动词 ‘be’。‘Happy for me genuinely’ 词序应调整为 ‘be genuinely happy for me’。建议：练习把口语中的填充词去掉，使用完整的从句结构（when/if 引导）并保证动词存在。

× Chair entertainment news and we often discuss the celebrity gossip and also we will, umm, we will exchange the news, uh, happens surround by our own mm-hmm.

✓ I share entertainment news and we often discuss celebrity gossip. We also exchange news that happens around us.

问题类型：量词或词汇使用不当（14/13）。原句 ‘Chair entertainment news’ 不合适应为 ‘share entertainment news’；‘happens surround by our own’ 词序和介词均错误，应为 ‘happens around us’ 或 ‘that happens around us’。建议：注意常用动词（share）与名词搭配，简化句子并调整词序为英语习惯的主谓宾结构。