Science— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is a bit unclear and repetitive. Try to make your sentences more natural and concise. Use linking words properly and avoid repeating words like 'concept' multiple times. Also, try to complete your thoughts clearly within 5 sentences.

例: Yes, I really enjoy studying science because it helps me understand how the world works. My teacher made lessons interesting by using many experiments, which made complex ideas easier to grasp. This hands-on approach kept me engaged and motivated to learn more.

提案: Your answer lacks clarity and is incomplete. Try to give specific examples and use linking words to connect ideas logically. Avoid vague phrases and finish your sentences properly to make your answer more effective.

例: Yes, I use science every day. For example, when I cook, I apply heat transfer principles to cook food evenly. I also observe weather patterns using environmental science knowledge, and understanding biology helps me maintain a healthy lifestyle.

提案: Your answer shows interest but is somewhat confusing and repetitive. Try to organize your ideas clearly and avoid repeating similar phrases. Use linking words to connect your points and mention specific reasons or examples to support your interest.

例: I would like to learn more about astronomy because it is fascinating. For instance, I am curious about how black holes evolve and expand. I also admire scientists like Brian Cox and Stephen Hawking, who have explained these complex topics in detail.

提案: Your answer is incomplete and repetitive. Try to express your ideas clearly and avoid repeating the same linking word 'similarly' multiple times. Complete your sentences and provide specific reasons why science is important for everyone.

例: Yes, I believe everyone should study science because it affects our daily lives. For example, medical science helps us understand diseases and how to stay healthy. Overall, science knowledge allows us to make informed decisions and improve our lifestyle.

提案: Your answer has good ideas but is somewhat unclear and repetitive. Try to use correct grammar and sentence structure. Use linking words to connect your points logically and avoid repeating words like 'engaging' too often.

例: Yes, I enjoy watching science TV programs like Planet Earth and Cosmos because they are visually stunning and informative. However, some programs can be boring if the concepts are too complex. But when experiments are shown, it makes learning more enjoyable.

× I used to love a lot because science helped me understand about the world in a better way.

✓ I used to love it a lot because science helped me understand the world in a better way.

The sentence is missing the object 'it' after 'love' and the preposition 'about' is unnecessary after 'understand'. Adding 'it' clarifies what is loved, and removing 'about' corrects the verb usage.

× science helped me understand about the world in a better way.

✓ science helped me understand the world in a better way.

The verb 'understand' does not require the preposition 'about' when followed directly by the object. Removing 'about' makes the sentence grammatically correct.

× Similarly, my teacher was very engaged in in captivating.

✓ Similarly, my teacher was very engaging and captivating.

The phrase 'engaged in in captivating' is incorrect and redundant. The correct adjectives to describe the teacher are 'engaging' and 'captivating'.

× He used many science experiment to show us and teach us about more informative as well as concept complex concept, complex and intricate concept of science.

✓ He used many science experiments to show us and teach us about more informative, complex, and intricate concepts of science.

The noun 'experiment' should be plural 'experiments' to agree with 'many'. Also, 'concept' should be plural 'concepts' to match the adjectives and context.

× So it was very, very.

✓ So it was very, very interesting.

The sentence is incomplete and lacks a final adjective to describe 'it'. Adding 'interesting' completes the thought.

× Because I think whenever I will be cooking, then I would use science concept to effectively distribute the heat throughout my food.

✓ Because I think whenever I cook, I use scientific concepts to effectively distribute the heat throughout my food.

The use of 'will be cooking' and 'would use' is incorrect here. Present simple tense 'cook' and 'use' is appropriate for habitual actions. Also, 'science concept' should be plural and adjective form 'scientific concepts'.

× Similarly, biology is used to maintain the daily lifestyle.

✓ Similarly, biology is used to maintain daily lifestyle.

The phrase 'the daily lifestyle' is awkward; removing 'the' makes it more natural. However, this is minor and could be stylistic.

× I also use environmental sciences to see the weather pattern.

✓ I also use environmental science to observe weather patterns.

'Environmental sciences' is usually singular 'environmental science' when referring to the field. 'Weather pattern' should be plural 'weather patterns'.

× Similarly, the health Medical Sciences are very much widespread and ubiquitous that we.

✓ Similarly, medical sciences related to health are very widespread and ubiquitous.

The sentence is incomplete and awkwardly structured. Rephrasing improves clarity and grammatical correctness.

× I think I would learn more about astronomy because they are very engaging and captivating.

✓ I think I would learn more about astronomy because it is very engaging and captivating.

'Astronomy' is singular, so the pronoun should be 'it' instead of 'they'.

× I love to know about how the black hole is evolving and expanding.

✓ I love to learn about how black holes are evolving and expanding.

'Black hole' should be plural 'black holes' to generalize, and 'love to know' is better expressed as 'love to learn'.

× I want to also go deep down into the concept of Brian Cox and about the Stephen Hawking into cases detail concept of black holes, the concept the astronomy.

✓ I also want to explore in detail the concepts presented by Brian Cox and Stephen Hawking about black holes and astronomy.

The original sentence is fragmented and unclear. Rephrasing clarifies the meaning and corrects sentence structure.

× I think it is very important because they are used on a daily basis.

✓ I think it is very important because science is used on a daily basis.

The pronoun 'they' is unclear; replacing it with 'science' clarifies the subject.

× the health Medical Sciences help us understand about how the diseases can be cured and to help to promote the healthy lifestyle.

✓ Medical sciences related to health help us understand how diseases can be cured and promote a healthy lifestyle.

The preposition 'about' after 'understand' is unnecessary. Also, 'the healthy lifestyle' should be 'a healthy lifestyle'.

× Similarly, understanding the science will help us to have a better lifestyle, get understand about the world better and.

✓ Similarly, understanding science will help us have a better lifestyle and understand the world better.

The sentence is incomplete and awkward. Removing 'the' before 'science' and rephrasing improves clarity.

× Yes, absolutely they are very engaging and captivating.

✓ Yes, absolutely, they are very engaging and captivating.

A comma after 'absolutely' improves sentence flow.

× Especially I find this TV program such as Planet Earth and Cosmos very engaging in traveling there also visually very much a good thinking.

✓ Especially, I find TV programs such as Planet Earth and Cosmos very engaging to watch; they are also visually impressive and thought-provoking.

The original sentence has incorrect prepositions and awkward phrasing. Rephrasing corrects these issues.

× However, some program can be boring because of the complex concept.

✓ However, some programs can be boring because of complex concepts.

'Program' should be plural 'programs' to agree with 'some'. Also, 'complex concept' should be plural 'complex concepts'.

× But if the complex concept is being taught through some experiments, then they are very delighted.

✓ But if complex concepts are taught through experiments, then they are very enjoyable.

'Is being taught' is awkward here; simple present passive 'are taught' is better. Also, 'they are very delighted' is incorrect; 'they are very enjoyable' or 'people find them delightful' is better.