Science— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid long hesitations and filler words, and correct pluralization and word order. Add one short supporting detail using a linking word.

例: Yes, science was one of my favorite subjects at school. For example, I remember a teacher who jokingly called humans two-legged animals, and that funny image still makes me laugh.

提案: Good direct answer and relevant detail. Reduce filler words and slightly rephrase for naturalness. Use one linking word to connect reason and result.

例: Yes. As a yoga teacher I use my knowledge of anatomy every day, because understanding bones and muscles helps me prevent injuries in my students.

提案: Be specific and avoid repetition and hesitations. Correct vocabulary (e.g., 'cueing' not 'queuing') and give one clear reason and possibly an example of how it helps.

例: Yes, I'd like to learn more about human anatomy, especially muscles and joints, because this would help me cue students more accurately and prevent strain during poses.

提案: Avoid informal or harsh words like 'stupid' and be more precise. Give a clear reason and one short example of practical benefits, using linking words for coherence.

例: Yes, I think everyone should learn some basic science because it helps with everyday decisions; for instance, understanding nutrition and first aid can improve health and safety.

提案: Good content and a clear example. Reduce hesitations and make the story more concise. Start with a topic sentence, then give the memorable example with a linking phrase.

例: Yes, I enjoy science programs. For example, I once watched an episode where two presenters microwaved a bar of soap and it dramatically bubbled up, which was both surprising and entertaining.

× Best science was one of my favorite subject.

✓ Basic science was one of my favorite subjects.

The student used 'Best' incorrectly; the intended adjective is likely 'Basic' describing the subject. Also 'subject' should be plural 'subjects' to match 'one of my favorite'. Suggestion: use the correct adjective and ensure count nouns agree with 'one of my...'.

× I had a teacher who referred to humans as AS2 legged, uh animals and I still uh, reminisce that and it makes me laugh.

✓ I had a teacher who referred to humans as two-legged animals, and I still reminisce about that; it makes me laugh.

Use 'two-legged' instead of 'AS2 legged' (typo/incorrect token). 'Reminisce' is typically followed by 'about' when referring to an event. 'That' is better connected with 'about that' or rephrased. Also add a comma or semicolon to join clauses. Suggestion: correct the term, add the preposition 'about' after 'reminisce', and punctuate to separate ideas.

× Yes, as a yoga teacher, I'm obligated to use my science knowledge every day, especially about the anatomy of bones and muscles, to prevent uh, injuries in my students.

✓ Yes, as a yoga teacher, I'm obliged to use my science knowledge every day, especially about the anatomy of bones and muscles, to prevent injuries in my students.

'Obligated' is not incorrect but 'obliged' is more natural in this context; however both are acceptable. Remove filler 'uh' and redundant comma before 'injuries'. Suggestion: use concise wording and remove fillers to improve fluency.

× Yes, it wouldn't hurt for me to expand my knowledge and anatomy of, uh, bones and muscles because as I said, I'm a yoga teacher and it would help a lot with uh queuing. The uh, queuing my students uh, better.

✓ Yes, it wouldn't hurt for me to expand my knowledge of the anatomy of bones and muscles because, as I said, I'm a yoga teacher and it would help a lot with cueing my students better.

The phrase 'expand my knowledge and anatomy of' is incorrect; it should be 'expand my knowledge of the anatomy'. 'Queuing' is likely incorrect spelling/word choice: 'cueing' (giving cues) is appropriate. Remove fillers 'uh' and combine fragmented sentence into one clear sentence. Suggestion: reorder nouns ('knowledge of the anatomy') and use the correct verb/noun 'cueing' for instructing students.

× Yes, I think it's necessary for everyone to have a science knowledge to some extent because it's practical and it would be so stupid if they didn't know. So some obvious things.

✓ Yes, I think it's necessary for everyone to have some scientific knowledge because it's practical, and it would be foolish if they didn't know some obvious things.

'A science knowledge' is ungrammatical; 'some scientific knowledge' is correct. 'Stupid' is colloquial and harsh; 'foolish' is more appropriate. Combine the fragments into one sentence and place 'some obvious things' after 'know' for clarity. Suggestion: use non-count noun forms ('knowledge' with quantifier 'some') and avoid fragmented sentences.

× Yes. As a matter of fact, I was a fan of one particular science program. Uh, it was, uh, about two guys and they did some experiments. I remember this particular episode when they put a bar of soap into a microwave and it bubbled up.

✓ Yes. As a matter of fact, I am a fan of one particular science program. It is about two guys and they do experiments. I remember one episode when they put a bar of soap into a microwave and it bubbled up.

The student switches tenses inconsistently. If the program is ongoing or still enjoyed, present tense ('am', 'is', 'do') should be used. If referring to past viewing, keep past consistently. Also remove filler 'uh'. Suggestion: choose present for current preferences or past for completed actions and keep tense consistent throughout the response.