Science— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more direct and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence (

例: I enjoyed some science subjects at school, but not all of them. For example, I found mathematics and physics quite difficult to understand, whereas biology and chemistry interested me because we could relate them to real-life applications such as the human body or chemical reactions.

提案: Be clearer and remove hesitation. Begin with a direct topic sentence, then give a brief specific example of daily use. Keep to two or three sentences maximum.

例: Yes. As a nursing student I use science every day — for instance, I apply chemistry when understanding drug interactions and biology when assessing patients’ anatomy and physiology.

提案: Answer the question directly by naming the subject you want to learn more about and explain why with a specific reason and one brief example. Use linking words like 'because' or 'so' to make it coherent.

例: I would like to learn more about anatomy because a deeper understanding of human structures helps me perform clinical assessments more accurately; for example, knowing detailed muscle anatomy improves wound care and mobility plans.

提案: Avoid repetition and make your point with a clear topic sentence followed by a specific reason and an example. Use correct grammar for plurality and verb forms.

例: Yes, I think everyone should study science because it develops critical thinking and practical skills; for example, basic mathematics helps people manage budgets and cooking measurements in daily life.

提案: Remove hesitation and be concise. Give one or two clear reasons why you like them and a specific example of a topic or programme. Use linking words ('because', 'so', 'for example').

例: Yes, I enjoy watching science programmes because they explain complex ideas visually, which helps me remember facts; for example, documentaries about space helped me understand planetary systems more clearly.

× And now during school time, they had lots of subject, they were really difficult.

✓ And at school, we had lots of subjects; they were really difficult.

The noun subject should be plural (subjects) to match 'lots of'. Also 'they had' is incorrect for the student perspective; use 'we had'. Use 'at school' or 'during school time' with correct pronoun. Ensure subject-verb agreement with plural noun. Use: 'lots of subjects' and 'we had'. Use a semicolon or conjunction to connect clauses.

× For instance, mathematic physics were too difficult for us.

✓ For instance, mathematics and physics were too difficult for us.

Subjects should be named in their correct singular form when listed: 'mathematics' not 'mathematic'. Also list both subjects with 'and' and keep plural verb 'were' because two subjects are plural.

× We couldn't memorize them and we couldn't learn them by heart.

✓ We couldn't memorize them and we couldn't learn them by heart.

Sentence is grammatically correct; no change needed. 'Couldn't' correctly indicates inability in the past and 'memorize' and 'learn' are base verbs after modal 'could'. No error from the provided list.

× But some subjects were really, uh, interesting for lots of, uh, my classmates, for instance, biology and chemistry, because, uh, we couldn't do lots of thing practically.

✓ But some subjects were really interesting for many of my classmates, for instance, biology and chemistry, because we couldn't do many things practically.

Use 'many of my classmates' rather than 'lots of my classmates'. 'Lots of thing' is incorrect: 'things' plural is required. 'Many things' is more natural. Remove filler pauses when correcting.

× Since my major is nursing, I read lots of UH things about nursing.

✓ Since my major is nursing, I read a lot about nursing.

Use 'a lot' rather than 'lots of things' to sound natural. 'Read' in present simple is acceptable for habitual action. Remove 'UH' filler. If referring to many materials, say 'I read a lot of material about nursing'.

× They have uh lots of subject like chemistry and biology, so I use them on a daily basis.

✓ There are lots of subjects like chemistry and biology, so I use that knowledge on a daily basis.

'Lots of subject' should be 'lots of subjects' (plural). 'They have' is vague; use 'There are'. Referring back to subjects as 'them' is awkward; 'that knowledge' is clearer. Ensure noun-pronoun agreement.

× Since my major was nursing UH, we had lots of subjects that are really important in our work.

✓ Since my major was nursing, we had lots of subjects that were really important for our work.

Maintain past tense 'were' to match 'had' and 'was'. Original mixed past and present ('are') is inconsistent. Use 'for our work' or 'in our work' consistently.

× For instance, biology and anatomy are two popular important subjects in UH nursing and we have to study them because we have to be update and there are lots of materials are available, we have to learn about them.

✓ For instance, biology and anatomy are two important subjects in nursing and we had to study them because we needed to stay updated, and lots of materials were available to learn from.

Remove redundant words ('popular important'); use 'important' only. Match past context: 'we had to', 'needed to stay updated'. 'Be update' is incorrect; use 'stay updated' or 'be updated' with past form. 'There are lots of materials are available' is duplicated; use 'lots of materials were available'.

× Yes, I believe that the study in science is so important because when we learn science, we can put in to practice in our future life and for our future work.

✓ Yes, I believe that studying science is very important because when we learn science, we can put it into practice in our future life and in our future work.

Use gerund 'studying' instead of 'the study in science'. 'So important' is informal; 'very important' is preferable. 'Put in to practice' should be 'put it into practice'. Ensure pronoun 'it' refers to 'science' and preposition use 'in our future work'.

× Science are so important.

✓ Science is very important.

'Science' is an uncountable singular noun and takes singular verb 'is'. Replace 'are' with 'is' and optionally 'so' with 'very' for formality.

× For instance, mathematics is really plays a significant role during our life.

✓ For instance, mathematics really plays a significant role in our lives.

Do not use both 'is' and the verb 'plays' together. Use 'mathematics really plays'. Use preposition 'in' and plural 'lives' for general statements. Remove extraneous words.

× We have to calculate lots of things numbers.

✓ We have to calculate many numbers and quantities.

Original phrase is jumbled: 'lots of things numbers' incorrect. Use 'many numbers and quantities' or 'many numerical values'. Ensure noun plurality and clear phrasing.

× Yes, uh, watching science, uh, TV program are, uh, really important.

✓ Yes, watching science TV programs is really important.

'TV program' should be plural 'TV programs' if general, and the verb must agree: 'programs are' or singular subject 'watching ... is'. Using the gerund 'watching ... is' makes 'is' appropriate. Remove filler words.

× I'm interested in, uh, watching science TV program in my free time.

✓ I'm interested in watching science TV programs in my free time.

Use plural 'programs' for general interest. Remove filler 'uh' and ensure noun number matches context.

× Uh, because, uh, umm, they engage with the visual ways.

✓ Because they use visual formats.

'Engage with the visual ways' is awkward. Use 'use visual formats' or 'are visually engaging'. If keeping 'engage', say 'they are engaging in visual ways' but simpler 'use visual formats' is clearer. This addresses incorrect verb phrase usage and clarity.

× So, uh, I can memorize them and also I can learn them by heart.

✓ So I can remember them and also learn them by heart.

'Memorize' is acceptable but 'remember' is more natural here. Avoid repeating subject 'I' unnecessarily. Use parallel verb forms 'remember' and 'learn'.

× And, uh, there, there are lots of topics like space and biology.

✓ There are many topics like space and biology.

Use 'many' or 'lots of' consistently; remove repeated 'there'. Keep plural 'topics' and plural verb 'are'.

× Uh, we can learn lots of thing about them, documentaries.

✓ We can learn lots of things about them from documentaries.

Use plural 'things' not 'thing'. Add preposition 'from' to link 'documentaries' as the source. Ensure sentence structure is clear.