Science— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be clearer and more grammatical: start with a direct topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition and fix tense/word order errors (e.g., "that it was a long ago" → "that was a long time ago").

例: Yes, I enjoyed studying science at school. For example, biology lessons where we observed animals in experiments helped me understand living systems, and practical classes made scientific ideas easier to visualise.

提案: Give a concise topic sentence, then one clear, specific example with logical linking words. Correct grammar and vocabulary ("ourselves", "cooking involves chemical reactions"). Avoid vague generalisations like "everything" without support.

例: Yes, I use scientific knowledge every day. For instance, when I cook I monitor temperature because cooking involves chemical reactions, and understanding this helps me get better results.

提案: Good clear topic and specific examples — improve fluency and accuracy by tightening word order and grammar, and linking idea to personal motivation (why you want to learn more).

例: Yes, I'd like to learn more about fermentation because it transforms ingredients and creates unique flavours. For example, fermentation is essential in producing wine, coffee and vinegar, and understanding it would help me experiment with new culinary techniques.

提案: Start with a direct opinion and follow with two specific reasons using linking words like "because" and "for example." Fix grammatical issues ("be beneficial", "take care of ourselves", "healthy lifestyle"). Avoid redundancy.

例: Yes, I believe everyone should study basic science because it helps people take care of their health and improve everyday tasks. For example, understanding nutrition supports a healthy lifestyle, and basic chemistry helps with safe cooking and household chores.

提案: Give a direct answer first (yes/no/it depends), then one clear reason with an example. Correct grammar ("it depends", "a busy schedule", "I don't have time"). Avoid redundant phrases like "I like to love to do."

例: It depends on my schedule; if I have free time I enjoy science programmes because they explain topics clearly. Otherwise, I prefer to read short articles or watch brief videos on topics that relate to my daily life.

× I think I do, although that it was a long ago when I was a child.

✓ I think I do, although it was a long time ago when I was a child.

The phrase 'a long ago' is incorrect; the correct expression is 'a long time ago'. Also 'although that it was' is ungrammatical—use 'although it was' or 'even though it was'. Suggestion: remove 'that' and use 'a long time ago'.

× I think the science class is always very exciting because it's it's provide me the opportunity to see the world with the scientific perspective and for example, added biology.

✓ I think the science class is always very exciting because it provides me with the opportunity to see the world from a scientific perspective, for example, in biology.

Errors: repeated 'it's it's'; wrong verb form 'provide' (should be 'provides' for third-person singular); incorrect preposition 'with the scientific perspective' should be 'from a scientific perspective'; 'added biology' is unclear—use 'for example, in biology'. Suggestions: remove duplicate words, use correct verb form and prepositions, and clarify the example.

× We used the animals as experienced.

✓ We used animals as examples.

'Used the animals as experienced' is incorrect: 'experienced' is wrong form and meaning. Likely intended 'examples' or 'experience'. Use plural 'animals' without 'the' unless specific, and use 'examples'. Suggestion: replace with 'We used animals as examples.'

× I think science is everywhere throughout our life and on our daily basis.

✓ I think science is everywhere in our lives and in our daily lives.

Awkward prepositions: use 'in our lives' instead of 'throughout our life' and 'in our daily lives' instead of 'on our daily basis'. Also pluralize 'life' to match general meaning. Suggestion: use consistent idiomatic expressions 'in our daily lives'.

× Everything's required scientific knowledge.

✓ Everything requires scientific knowledge.

'Everything's required scientific knowledge' misuses passive/possessive and lacks correct verb structure. Use active verb 'requires' and noun phrase 'scientific knowledge'. Suggestion: use subject + verb + object: 'Everything requires scientific knowledge.'

× For example, from cooking to taking care of ourself, that's a cooking.

✓ For example, from cooking to taking care of ourselves, such as cooking,

'Ourself' is incorrect for plural subject; use 'ourselves'. The clause 'that's a cooking' is ungrammatical; clarify as 'such as cooking'. Suggestion: use plural reflexive pronoun and rephrase awkward clause.

× We need to see the temperature because the cooking is at about a chemical reaction.

✓ We need to check the temperature because cooking involves chemical reactions.

'See the temperature' is awkward—use 'check the temperature'. 'The cooking is at about a chemical reaction' is ungrammatical: no article needed before 'cooking' in general, and 'is about a chemical reaction' should be 'involves chemical reactions'. Suggestion: use 'involves' and plural 'reactions'.

× So it is very important.

✓ So it is very important.

This sentence is grammatically correct but ensure it follows context; no change needed.

× I've always been very curious and interested in fermentation.

✓ I've always been very curious and interested in fermentation.

Sentence is correct as present perfect expressing lifelong interest; no change needed.

× Any kind of a substance fermented can create a very beautiful flavor, for example wine, coffee, tea or even vinegar and they create a beautiful culinary cultures around the world.

✓ Any kind of fermented substance can create a very appealing flavor, for example wine, coffee, tea, or even vinegar, and they have created beautiful culinary cultures around the world.

Problems: word order 'kind of a substance fermented' should be 'fermented substance'; 'very beautiful flavor' better as 'very appealing flavor'; 'culinary cultures' should be plural but needs 'have created' for tense agreement. Suggestion: reorder words, choose natural adjective, and use correct verb tense 'have created'.

× It is undeniably important for everyone to learn the science and also the knowledge related to science fact because it will really beneficial to our daily life from the taking care of ourselves, good health style and also cooking as well.

✓ It is undeniably important for everyone to learn science and the knowledge related to scientific facts because it will be really beneficial to our daily lives, from taking care of ourselves and maintaining good health to cooking.

Multiple issues: 'learn the science' should be 'learn science' (no article); 'science fact' should be 'scientific facts'; missing verb 'be' before 'really beneficial'; 'our daily life' -> 'our daily lives'; awkward list 'from the taking care' -> 'from taking care'; 'good health style' -> 'maintaining good health'. Suggestions: remove unnecessary articles, add 'be', correct nouns, and rephrase list for clarity.

× I think it's really depends on whether I have free time or fully schedule.

✓ I think it really depends on whether I have free time or a full schedule.

Remove contraction 'it's' because 'depends' already has subject 'it'. 'Fully schedule' is incorrect; use 'a full schedule'. Suggestion: use 'it really depends' and correct noun phrase.

× Sometimes I really don't have a time to sit down in front of the TV and watch the whole TV program.

✓ Sometimes I really don't have time to sit in front of the TV and watch an entire program.

'A time' is unnecessary; use 'time' without article. 'Sit down in front of the TV' -> 'sit in front of the TV'. 'The whole TV program' -> 'an entire program' for natural phrasing. Suggestion: drop article and use natural collocations.

× So what I like to love to do is find out something really related to my daily life.

✓ So what I like to do is find things that are really related to my daily life.

'Like to love to do' is redundant and incorrect; choose 'like to do'. 'Find out something really related' -> 'find things that are really related' for natural phrasing and agreement. Suggestion: remove redundancy and make noun plural to match general meaning.