Internet— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: حاول تحسين قواعد اللغة واستخدام جمل كاملة وواضحة. تجنب الأخطاء النحوية مثل استخدام الزمن الصحيح للفعل، وكن أكثر دقة في التعبير عن الأفكار لتكون الإجابة أكثر طبيعية وفعالية.

例: I started using the Internet when I was 12 years old because my parents allowed me. Since then, it has become an essential part of my daily life, helping me study and communicate with my friends. I can't imagine a day without it.

提案: حاول استخدام كلمات ربط لتوضيح الأفكار بشكل أفضل، وركز على ترتيب الجمل لتكون أكثر ترابطاً ومنطقية. كما يجب تحسين القواعد النحوية واستخدام المفردات المناسبة.

例: I go online every day for about 5 to 7 hours because I study on my phone. Also, I respond to messages immediately and try to be available for my friends and anyone who needs me.

提案: تجنب التردد والكلمات غير الضرورية مثل "Uh"، وقدم إجابة كاملة وواضحة مع تفاصيل محددة. استخدم جمل مترابطة مع كلمات ربط لتوضيح السبب والنتيجة.

例: Yes, I remember once when I was grounded for a week and wasn't allowed to use the Internet or any device because I didn't do my homework on time. As a result, I learned to manage my time better.

提案: حاول دمج الجمل القصيرة المتقطعة في جمل كاملة ومترابطة باستخدام كلمات ربط. كما يجب تحسين استخدام الأزمنة والمفردات لتكون الإجابة أكثر طبيعية ووضوحاً.

例: Yes, I spend a lot of time online because I study on my phone. Sometimes, I also read e-books and communicate with my friends by sending messages back and forth. This is how I live now.

提案: حاول تحسين القواعد النحوية واستخدام جمل واضحة ومترابطة. استخدم كلمات ربط لتوضيح الأفكار بشكل أفضل وكن أكثر دقة في التعبير عن تأثير عدم وجود الإنترنت على حياتك.

例: I think my life would be difficult without the Internet because I use it to communicate with my friends and family. Without it, I would feel left behind in the world.

× I start using the Internet when I was 12 years old.

✓ I started using the Internet when I was 12 years old.

The sentence refers to a past event, so the verb 'start' should be in the past tense 'started' to match the time frame.

× Since then earth has become a huge part of my life.

✓ Since then, the Internet has become a huge part of my life.

The word 'earth' is incorrect here; it should be 'the Internet' as the subject. Also, 'the' is needed before 'Internet' as it is a specific noun.

× Is in it every day in my daily life to study or should communicate with my friend.

✓ I use it every day in my daily life to study or to communicate with my friends.

The original sentence lacks a subject and has incorrect word order. Adding 'I use it' clarifies the subject and verb, and 'to communicate' is the correct infinitive form. Also, 'friends' should be plural.

× So I can't go a day without the Internet.

✓ So I can't go a day without the Internet.

This sentence is correct; no singular/plural issue here.

× Every day I go online for about 5 to 7 hours a day because I'm studying on my phone so I response to the messages right away.

✓ Every day I go online for about 5 to 7 hours because I'm studying on my phone, so I respond to messages right away.

The verb 'response' is a noun; the correct verb form is 'respond'. Also, the sentence needs a comma before 'so' to separate clauses.

× Available all the time for my friend, for or anyone.

✓ I am available all the time for my friends or anyone.

The sentence lacks a subject and verb. 'Friend' should be plural 'friends' to match the context. 'For or anyone' is incorrect; it should be 'or anyone'.

× Yes, I do remember a time when I was grounded for a week and I wasn't allowed to use the Internet or any device.

✓ Yes, I do remember a time when I was grounded for a week and wasn't allowed to use the Internet or any device.

The sentence is mostly correct; removing the second 'I' before 'wasn't' improves fluency but is optional.

× Uh, because I. I didn't do my homework on time, so the result?

✓ Uh, because I didn't do my homework on time, so that was the result.

The sentence is fragmented and incomplete. Combining the clauses and completing the thought improves clarity.

× Yes, I do spend a lot of time being online because I am studying on my phone.

✓ Yes, I do spend a lot of time online because I am studying on my phone.

The phrase 'being online' is awkward here; 'spend time online' is the correct expression.

× Now sometimes I read e-books. Communicate with my friends and sending messages.

✓ Now, sometimes I read e-books, communicate with my friends, and send messages.

The original has sentence fragments and inconsistent verb forms. Using parallel structure with verbs in base form improves correctness.

× So that's the way I live now.

✓ So that's the way I live now.

This sentence is correct; no pronoun issue here.

× I think my life would be difficult since I communicated my friends and family to ask my fault.

✓ I think my life would be difficult since I communicate with my friends and family to ask for help.

The verb 'communicated' is past tense but the sentence context suggests a general statement, so present tense 'communicate' is appropriate. Also, 'ask my fault' is incorrect; it should be 'ask for help' or similar.

× So. Leaving the Internet I I feel I will be left behind the words.

✓ So, without the Internet, I feel I will be left behind the world.

The sentence is fragmented and has repeated words. 'Leaving the Internet' is awkward; 'without the Internet' is better. 'Behind the words' is likely a mistake for 'behind the world' or 'behind the times'.